A Past From Beyond The Gate (Discontinued)
by I'm Retired
Summary: A new organization has the Syndicate on the ropes. Between questioning everything they know about contractors and following orders, can Hei and Yin's friendship develop into something more amidst all this chaos? Will they make out with their lives? And just what does Yin have to do with this Alucricity gang?
1. Chapter 1

A familiar melody stained the air. It was faint, but still so close. It was just out of her reach, teasing her. It danced around her, distant as most of her memories had been. It was at her fingertips, a melody of her own. She could feel the keys under her as she warmed them with the swift movements of her hands and the life of her body. She felt her mother's eyes on her. Though this wasn't the usual proud look she always wore. Her gaze was full of worry. She could feel the weight her eyes held and it caught her so off guard that she accidentally repeated the note she just played.

Kastinen was gonna give her an earful for this...

"Kirisi, that's wrong-" He looked down at his copy of the sheet music.

"It's not my fault, I-!"

"Kirisi..."

"Kirisi..."

 _"Yin!"_ Huang's harsh voice rang out. Yin snapped back to attention, though it didn't appear as though she'd lost focus in the first place.

"Yes..?" She questioned despite her voice remaining monotonous.

"TY-385 is hiding out somewhere in our area, did you find him last night?"

Yin nodded her head no.

"Damn doll, had one job..." Huang stated rather bluntly. Had it been anyone else he probably wouldn't have even thought it, or at the least he would've been a bit more discreet. Though he'd begun to let up on his treatment toward her ever since she ran away. Seeing her cry like that, it proved that she wasn't as unfeeling as he'd initially thought. Still, he couldn't stop himself jarring her from time to time. It was easy to forget how the things he said could negatively affect her.

"I... I'm..." Yin felt the need to say sorry. Though deep down she knew he probably didn't really mean anything by it. Somewhere deep within him, he wanted to care, but this was just how he was wired to act toward contractors and dolls. Still, she felt bad for letting down even in the slightest. She'd searched almost all night but her target was just out of her reach. Every now and again she'd notice signs of someone near her spectre. Teasing her, making sure she knew they were aware of her presence. But she couldn't verify it, and no one had asked, so she said nothing.

"Don't be so hard on her Huang, it's not her fault. I was with her, she searched all night." Mao interjected. "Besides, I'm sure there's some info on my servers if he's used his powers recently."

Huang grumbled to himself but said nothing further.

"-Anyways, his code name is Trevor and he's part of that freak Alucricity organization that's been causing so much trouble for the Syndicate. They're willing to kill and or torture anyone who won't join their group or give them the information they seek. They also have a tendency of carving the letter 'A' on the bodies of their victims while they're still alive, like a calling card of sorts."

"If anyone here is captured it's advised to kill 'em before they're taken away. We can't have any secrets getting out. Think of it as the Syndicate's way of sparing you." Huang laughed coldly.

"Hei, your job is find out who TY-385 works for and eliminate him."

"Got it." Hei confirmed.

"You'll all get more info later, we've been here too long..."

* * *

Yin thought back to her mother's worried eyes as she remembered her little daydream from earlier. Seeing her mother like that scared her. And somehow it was almost like it was still important now. As if those eyes still had a story to tell. She wondered why this memory came to her now. The only remnants of the past she held were the ones she most recently received, with Kastinen and her mother being the only ones left beside her after the death of her father. But her father was still alive in this new memory. He had to be, her mother was without that grief stricken energy her presence carried despite herself. But if she wasn't concerned with her father then what she have been upset about?

"Yin?" Hei leaned down to window of her tobacco stand. "We're heading out tonight. You'll be stationed in a warehouse nearby. They'll have a bucket ready for you."

"Alright." She replied. Hei stood up to walk away, but stopped abruptly, as if he'd forgotten something.

"Oh, and here." He placed a piece of candy on her counter. "Uh, don't worry. You're doing fine." He told her, almost awkwardly.

"Tha-thank you." She struggled to find the strength to convey the words genuinely, and they came out monotone despite herself. But she couldn't hide the glint of gratitude in her eyes and Hei was surprised to witness the spark himself. He was glad he could cheer her up.

He didn't know why he felt the need to comfort her. She didn't even seem all that affected, but you could never be too sure with her. Though she was beginning to express herself bit more lately, it was still almost as if she needed permission to give her opinion. But he wanted to make sure she was okay, they were partners after all.

* * *

Nightfall soon came and the team scattered to their places. Hei prepared himself for the ambush as he concealed himself out on the balcony of TY-385's apartment. He waited for Yin's signal before attacking.

Yin's spectre appeared in the sink as she scanned the area. The apartment was empty. In fact, it was safe to say that no one had been there for days. "Hei, no one's there."

"What?" Hei asked in confusion. He stood carefully, knowing better than to let his guard down. Hei slowly scanned the area, confirming what he'd just been told.

Wait, if no one had been in the apartment for a lengthy amount of time, then why was there water in the sink? _"Hei it's a trap-"_

In an instant a secret door in the ceiling swung open and TY-385 swooped down feet first, kicking Hei with the might of the velocity he'd gathered from his entrance. Hei was knocked against the wall, but quickly recovered. He threw a wire and coiled it around TY-385's neck, igniting it with a surge of electricity. But Trevor swiftly heated the cord and snapped it before the current could reach him.

Trevor quickly took cover for a moment and took off the bandaid on his arm, pulling at the skin healing there. He would have cried out had he not already built up a resistance to the pain of his price, besides, there was still a fight to be had.

Trevor emerged from his spot and was immediately nailed in the face by Hei's fist. TY-385 thrust his fist out for a counter attack but Hei dodged in time and grabbed his arm, leaving him vulnerable. Hei unsheathed one of his forked knives and slashed him across his chest. The wound stretched from his right side to his left shoulder.

Trevor howled in pain and recoiled backwards, ripping his arm from Hei's tight grasp. Hei pursued him as he trailed out of room. Trevor gathered some of the concentration that was quickly leaving him, and managed to land a roundhouse kick to Hei's head, knocking him against the doorframe. Hei's mask flew off his face at the force of the kick and slid across the floor. But Hei was too disoriented to worry about covering his face at the moment.

TY-385 slipped out of a window and practically slid down the fire escape. Hei heard Yin's calm voice in his ear. _"Hei hurry, he's headed down Ginza St."_

 _'Ginza St.? That's-'_ Hei's thoughts were interrupted by Yin again. "Hei, I'm losing sight of him..."

Hei shook himself off and began to trail after Trevor. He quickly caught sight of him again and his suspicions were soon confirmed. TY-385 was headed for the warehouse. He threw a knife at him, and it struck him in the shoulder. Trevor swayed in his path but was not yet deterred.

They were nearing warehouse, Hei had to end this quickly before Yin was put in danger. Hei pressed on a bit faster, slight desperation carried within each step.

"Hei, behind you, another." Yin warned. Hei turned just in time avoid the dagger soaring toward him. The knife instead pierced the back of the new assailant's partner. She caught up to Hei in an instant and came down on him, her fingers curling into a monkey paw instead of fists. Hei looked over his shoulder to see Trevor escaping his line of sight. "Yin, run!" Hei warned once he realized he might not make it in time.

"It's confirmed, he has her." His new opponent relayed to her own partner, touching her earpiece. _'Shit!'_ He hoped Yin would run like he'd told her, but he had the sinking suspicion that she wouldn't know how. Where would she even go?

Luckily for him, Hei soon spotted Huang perched up on a rooftop trying a to line up a shot. All he had to do was keep her still long enough for Huang to shoot. Hei noticed that her footing was off, she stood with her knees pointing inwards and her heels facing outwards and away from each other. This was his chance. He struck the side of her calf hard with his foot, snapping her shin in two.

She shrieked in pain as she fell to the ground, holding her leg to her. Huang seized the moment and pulled the trigger, striking her through the head and killing her instantly.

Hei ran through now busted doors of the warehouse to find Yin pinned up against the wall. Her bucket of water had been knocked over and Trevor had both of her hands pinned above her head with one of his own while the other covered her mouth.

"It's about time you come home sister..." He smiled at her. The sickening grin stretched across his face and made her want to grimace. His light blue eyes pierced hers, and though she couldn't see them, she could still their impression. Just like her mother's on that day...

"Yin!" Hei ran up to TY-385, covering his mouth and tilting his head upward to expose his neck. Hei slid his knife across the flesh of his throat and let the blood flow from the constricting chamber of his body. He tossed Trevor's body to the side as he stepped closer to Yin, grasping her shoulders. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She replied almost uncertainly.

"Are you sure? Did he hurt you?"

"No, not really."

"Good-"

"Hei," Huang stepped into the warehouse with Mao trailing not far behind. "Did you get the info? Who the hell's in charge of this rookie gang?"

"I don't know." Hei looked away indifferently.

"Dammit Hei! How many times have I told you not to kill the target if we still need intell?!"

"He was going after Yin-"

"So what?!" Here it comes. "In fact, you should've killed her first! She could've told him everything about the Syndicate, what would you have done if he'd gotten away with kind of information?! Do you have any idea what the Syndicate's willing to do to us if they find they out that this mission went south?! You're lucky you killed him! But guess who's gonna have to kiss ass to keep our heads on our shoulders?!"

Hei turned to him angrily. "Don't think you're doing me any favors kissing up to the Syndicate, I can take care of myself. If they wanted to kill me they would've done so already."

"Huang, you know you can't expect him to up and kill Yin when you couldn't do it yourself when it came down to it." Mao interjected, sensing the need for a voice of reason in this heated conversation. "Besides, what's done is done. TY-385 is dead, so mission accomplished, in a way."

"Don't think gonna start cozying up to you freaks, if you push me again I will pull the trigger!" Huang stormed out there as if someone offered to pay for all his drinks for the night. Or at least until he got drunk, which he never did.

"Yin, let's go."

Yin followed Hei as they headed back, and though she felt guilty for starting a fight, she couldn't take her mind off those piercing eyes...


	2. Chapter 2

Hei had never really given it a second thought. Contractors and dolls were emotionless, that was all there was to it. It didn't take much to prove that fact, just a second alone with one was enough evidence. But recently he was forced to debate the validity of this with himself. Seeing Yin, he could tell there was something more within her. Something she was trying to get out. He couldn't forget the tears that bled from her eyes the night she ran away, or the way she reached up to the light of those fleeting spectres with such sorrowful fulfillment. If his kind truly couldn't feel, then why was she so emotional? Remembering how she said she thought her heart would move when she wandered off, it seemed to him that she was reaching for something just out of her grasp. Maybe all she needed was some help...

The more he considered her 'hypothetical' feelings, the more he noticed about her. He able to tell when she wanted to say something, but couldn't quite get the words out. And when she did get the words out, she almost looked disappointed at the sound of her voice, like she was feeling something she couldn't convey, but the desire to was killing her. Throughout his time with her he observed the slightly saddened expression she held when Huang berated her, and the small twitch at the corner of her mouth whenever she reached down to pet Mao. Even the way her eyes lit up whenever he gave her candy, or took the time to talk to her couldn't escape Hei's watchful eye. Some days Hei would swell up with pride at the fact he was able to spark even the slightest of joy in her.

As he became more aware of her, he began to take note of how he acted as well. Contractors were supposed to feel nothing, so why was it that he was able to feel the sparks of anger flare up so consistently? Why would he ever feel the personal obligation to take interest in a doll's emotional development if there was no supposed comradery between them? He couldn't count how many times he'd risked his life by disobeying orders because his thought process was clouded by emotions. But he never gave his feelings an after thought. If he did something that went against his nature as a contractor he simply wouldn't acknowledge it. But now... seeing Yin try, seeing her accept the truth, it made him question everything.

He was getting better at reading her emotions, so naturally he could tell when she was bothered by something. For example, right now.

"Yin," He called to her, pulling her from her thoughts. "What is it?"

"What?" She looked up at him, her eyebrows curling in confusion for a moment.

"I know something's wrong. You're all shaken up." He glanced at the hand that was submerged in the bowl of water. What was she searching for?

"..." Yin was stunned for a moment, confused as to how he could read her so well. Sure she'd been a bit unfocused lately but that didn't necessarily mean anything going on with her that was worth investigating. Unless... Hei cared whenever she was deeply bothered about something. Yin quickly dismissed the idea. She didn't think Hei cared enough about her to notice little things like that. Besides, she didn't think this was really worth bothering Hei about, Trevor was dead now, after all. "No. I'm fine."

"Is this about the warehouse?" Yin was surprised at how spot on he was.

"How-?"

"Did he say something to you?" He pushed on further. "Are you hurt?"

Yin knew he would just press the matter until she told him how she felt. She vaguely wondered why he was so concerned.

"He just told me it was time for me to come home." Hei was visibly shocked, but sensed that there was something more. Yin didn't know what to tell him "He called me his sister..."

Hei grew worried. This 'Alucricity' place clearly wanted something with Yin. The Syndicate's been taking some pretty hard hits from this new organization, and for some reason they seem to be showing special interest in a doll. Something about this didn't add up, to them, dolls should be replaceable, there's no reason to seek out one in particular. But even with this big hole in the enemy's logic, Hei could tell this wasn't what was really bothering Yin.

"Yin, there's something else. Tell me." He leaned in closer to her.

Yin looked down at her hands, feeling her problem was irrelevant. "The way he looked at me, I can still feel it. It's like someone's watching me..." Yin stopped short, feeling ridiculous. The Syndicate has tons of enemies, anyone could be watching her at all times. In fact, it was the Syndicate she should be worried about, if anything. They were ready and willing to kill her if slipped up in anyway. Hell, if someone was having a bad day her life was at risk! She should be able to function despite the danger. Confusing half threats and cold eyes should be the last of her worries.

"I'm sorry Yin, I should've been there sooner..." Hei took her hand and pulled the other one out of the water and grasping them in his own. "Why didn't you tell me they were after you sooner?"

"I...I'm a doll." Yin was almost too surprised at his gesture to think. "...They can't want me. Even if they come after me, I can't stop them."

Hei didn't like this. He'd recently found that Yin often felt helpless in most situations. She rarely made a move defend herself even when there was help beside her. He knew that this was because to her, she was without any true help. He knew it was strange but, sad tinge that complimented her features whenever she got upset practically stung him. It was almost enough to make his stomach drop. He wouldn't admit it any time soon but, he liked the light in her eyes. He liked struggled words of self expression that tumbled from her mouth. He liked her finger smiles and wanted- no, needed her to know she was worth every last one of them.

"Yin," He held her hands tighter. "If you have a problem you can tell me, okay? I'll be here for you, I promise."

"...I.." Yin was surprised that he was so concerned for her at all. "Alright." She didn't have many friends, much less any in the Syndicate. She enjoyed his company, and it was easy to appreciate the fact that he took time out of his day to be with her, despite her being a doll. But devoting a promise to her, even if it was empty, Yin felt undeserving. Though, she could help but feel like this was the farthest thing from an empty promise. "Thank you, Hei"

* * *

The next day was a bright one. Yin didn't know what it was, but she didn't feel paranoid as of late. It was as if a fog had lifted within her. She couldn't remember the feel of these icy eyes on her, or the tight grasp of his hands on her wrists. For the first time she almost felt protected. She knew she'd be kept alive as long as she was a useful asset, but if keeping her alive became too much of a hassle, she'd be discarded and snuffed out. But she felt that she and Hei shared a secret unspoken promise between them. One even deeper than his vow to support her emotionally. She felt they'd be partners no matter what. That maybe -just maybe, they were equal, and their lives mattered to one another.

She arrived at the meeting spot to find that everyone else was already there. Odd. She wasn't normally the last one to show. That was usually Huang.

"I'm late...?" She questioned apologetically. They all looked back and forth between themselves and at her, as if this were some sort of intervention. The silence was unbearable until Huang spoke up at last.

"Yin, you're joining Alucricity."


	3. Chapter 3

"Yin, you're joining Alucricity."

 _'What?!'_ Her eyes widened for the first time since she'd ran away and witnessed the spectre's moon-like illumination. Hazy thoughts rolled and tumbled around in her head, swirling around in a confusion unlike that of which she was used to since her transition into a doll. This confusion was clouded with a fear and anxiety that had been brought on by sheer befuddlement. She felt her heart drop to stomach, and her stomach dropped even lower. She'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be disappointed. Though recently, she could still vaguely remember the sensation from the moment her suspicions about her mother's relationship with Kastinen were confirmed. It's been so long since the world grew cold around her. Since she could feel it's chill.

For a long time she said nothing, she only stood there, with that glazed over look of disbelief. After what seemed like forever she uttered a soft, "...What?"

The team was thoroughly surprised at Yin's blatant expression of shock and disappointment. Even Hei wasn't expecting the nearly horrified expression she wore.

Though Huang was visibly disturbed by Yin's obvious discomfort, he reminded himself that she was only a doll. He couldn't let his feelings get the best of him now, especially since he considered these 'freaks' unworthy of his emotion. So he continued, not caring if she was ready to process more yet.

"The Syndicate traced their data on Alucricity back to as close to their origins as possible, and turns out a woman named Asta, was affiliated with Alucricity. Our intel also confirms that she's your mother."

Yin recoiled in shock the second she heard the news. She began to tremble as her new reality dawned on her.

"H-how? This can't-" Yin tried to make sense of things, but her mind was too much of a jumbled mess to function properly. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"This was presumably before you were born."

"..." Yin could say nothing. What she really wanted was to say no. She wanted to refuse, to tell them that she didn't have to and wasn't going to. But she felt it impossible. If she did it would be nothing but a new form of suicide. Besides, she doubted she could get the words out even if she tried. Her best bet was to try her hand at Alucricity and hope she'd make it through. Still, there was no way she could trust them, if they were willing to torture and mutilate people imagine what they'd do to a doll... If they found out she worked for the Syndicate she was as good as dead. Hell... she was already sure they were watching her as it is.

"Looks like that Trevor guy wasn't just spouting nonsense after all." Yin's head shot up. She briefly wondered how Huang could've known about that. Dwelling on the thought a bit longer, Yin was certain the only person she'd told was Hei.

In an odd moment of shock, Yin looked towards him, his eyes cast downward as soon they connected.

"...You told?" Her heart still with a sense of betrayal she was able to place fairly easily. Somehow, her eyes reflected her feelings despite herself. Though they lacked the scorching burn of anger that Hei's usually harbored whenever he was crossed. Yin herself wasn't even sure why she was so upset. Although, some part of her felt as though her privacy had been invaded. She had no clue why, but the conversations she'd shared with Hei had always been personal to her... like secret moments between friends. Yin hardly thought her secret was worth sharing, but some part of her had foolishly expected Hei not to tell anyone, especially not to someone of the Syndicate. An uncomfortable twisting pain coursed through her as she remembered how hard it had been to confide in him whilst swimming in an unknown fear. The way he grasped her hands... he made her feel so safe, like understood how her position. She thought he respected her enough keep things between them.

No, this was her fault. It was stupid of her to develop a personal standard for how private she wanted their time together to be. She should've known better than to think the Syndicate would so much as hesitate at thought of sacrificing a doll such as herself. She was insignificant, whether she left of stayed didn't matter. She would never truly be depended upon because she was so expendable. It was foolish of her to genuinely offer her partnership and support knowing how little it mattered.

"Yin, it's going to be okay," Hei tried to reassure her. "You're not alone, We'll be here waiting for your feedback."

Yin wasn't convinced, and Hei could tell. "Yin, we need to get to the bottom of this. I know it sounds scary but this is actually the safest way to go about it."

Even his soothing voice couldn't ease her troubled mind. A saddened acceptance came over her and Hei noticed that something about the light in her eyes had nullified. Her features appeared exhausted all the sudden, and the look in her eyes mirrored that of someone who'd struggled over their despair for hours over the inevitable but resigned to their fate out of sheer hopelessness.

In the end, Yin simply nodded her head once and said, "Understood," before turning and walking away.

* * *

Hei wasn't expecting any of this to say the least. He thought telling Huang what Trevor said to Yin would be the best course of action. Since both he and his partner were dead, they had no other outlet for information. They were clearly after Yin, he couldn't just stand by and wait for another attack on their end when she was in the line of fire. This was their only lead, there was no other choice.

He was worried of course, but he knew she could handle it. Either way, he'd be doing everything he could from the outside, whether the Syndicate wanted him to or not. He didn't care if it costed him his life, he would always go the extra mile for her.

But seeing her so torn up...it was clear that he had made a mistake. He didn't think she'd be so uncomfortable, so afraid. He hadn't thought about her struggle with her disposability in the eye of Syndicate at the time. Sending her off to some ruthless organization that was probably way worse than the Syndicate didn't nothing to make her feel better about herself. And the fact that she was obviously still upset about her secret being spilled only made him feel worse.

He stopped by the tobacco stand often in the few days she had left before her departure. It was as if the talkative nature -for a doll that is- that she'd been developing had never existed at all. She seemed purposefully closed off, and he wasn't entirely sure why. But he was pretty sure it was all his fault, and the thought alone was enough to make him sick to his stomach. The light silence that he came to appreciate grew heavy with tension, and the weight remained upon his shoulders even after he left her side.

Despite all this, he could tell she still trusted him. Some part of her still needed someone to rely on, someone whose shoulders she could rest her head upon. And of all people, she choose him. This only worsened his guilt.

* * *

She hadn't meant to be so despondent around him. But she couldn't help herself. She knew he was trying to make some type of peace offering, or form an apology of sorts, but she wasn't willing to touch upon the subject. Of course he picked up on that quickly, him having a way of reading her, and never really said anything about it officially. However, she was certain he was definitely sorry. He seemed to approach her stand with a treat day after day. -Something that had once been a rarity had become a constant. And though it was clear that he was trying to give her some space, he seemed her persistent about insuring her wellbeing.

She wanted to spend her time with him, to engage in their seemingly irrelevant small talk, but she had nothing to say. Finding it hard to look outside her programming, she'd decided that he'd probably just been looking for info the whole time. Maybe he caught on to the fact Trevor said something to her and wanted to ensure that he got it out of her. If that was the case then she wouldn't waste his time with her personal tidbits.

The day of her departure was soon nearing, and Hei grew more and more uneasy as her time approached. But he couldn't stop time from ticking, and the day arrived despite his wishes. They gathered for one last meeting right before sending her off.

"Yin," Huang stepped toward her. For a moment it looked as if he had something meaningful to say. Perhaps an apology for being so curt about the revelation of her mother's history with Alucricity? Or a heartfelt goodbye? "Here, you're gonna need this earpiece to receive orders and stay in touch with the Syndicate."

Or not. Yin ignored his cold hearted nature. "Goodbye Huang," She wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug.

Huang flinched back a little, stunned at the gesture. He felt it odd that she would move to hug him. He lifted an arm to give her two awkward pats on the back. "Uh...yeah..."

Mao made his way onto her shoulder and nestled against her cheek. "I'm gonna need someone to rub my back after this, so be safe okay?"

Mao noticed Hei approaching and sensed that they needed some space. He hopped off her shoulder and scampered over to Huang.

"Yin," Hei stopped for a moment, searching for the words. "I know you don't want to do this, but everything'll be fine. I'll be here -you know the signal right?" Yin nodded her head yes.

"It's okay Hei, even if I don't come back...I- you'll be fine. There are other dolls to help you." Yin turned to leave but Hei grabbed her shoulder.

Hei looked down at her, his eyes uncharacteristically caring. "We're partners Yin, you don't...you don't get that with just any doll..." Yin looked up at him for moment, and he knew she could feel the emotion he was trying to convey to her. Hei didn't know for sure, but he got a feeling that she was beginning to believe in their partnership again.

"Here, take this." He placed a small combat knife in her hands. "I...I used to hide this under my pillow back in South America, when my sister and I- well, it doesn't matter," He sighed, already feeling lighter knowing that Yin was starting to believe in him again. "But if you really feel like you're in danger, then use this. Just hold on tight and swing, or stab if you think you have the leverage...and-"

Yin placed her finger on his lips, remembering the tactic Kastinen always used on her. Yin felt his lips curve against her finger as he let out a soft puff of air. An attempt at a laugh perhaps? Sometimes Yin forgot just how similar she and Hei could be. "Thank you, Hei." Her arms reached around to his back and she squeezed him tightly. Hei stepped into the hug and held her just as close. Forgetting himself for a moment, he placed a soft hand to the back of her head, allowing his fingers to momentarily weave through her hair. Catching himself before he could indulge any further, Hei pulled away from her. He quickly helped her conceal her weapon in an attempt to cover up his actions before letting her turn away. She waved one last time before disappearing into the distance.


	4. Chapter 4

When Yin arrived at one of Alucricity's hideouts, just on the outskirts of Tokyo, and told them she was seeking shelter, she was surprised she wasn't immediately killed. The large burly man lowered his defenses and looked at her with, almost recognition. But they had never met before, so Yin thought it impossible. Yet he seemed so trusting of her despite this.

She almost tumbled to the ground as he clamped his strong hand down her shoulder and led her to the four long rows of connected housing.

"We're home!" He called. Yin wondered how a member of an organization so similar, if not even worse than the Syndicate can refer to such an institution as "home".

A large crowd of people rushed to greet her, and she would've been overwhelmed had they not been so gentle with her. They coated her with "Welcome home"s, and "It's been so long"s, and other things that wouldn't make sense if you were saying them to someone you'd just met. But the words flowed so smoothly, and they seemed genuinely happy to see her, so she couldn't help but play along.

They all huddled together in a large group hug so soft, and so warm, that Yin didn't know what to do with the feeling. Once they all parted a hoard of women whisked Yin into one of their many homes.

"Come sister, let us bathe you." Spoke an older woman. She appeared to be in her early 40s.

Yin remembered the knife Hei concealed for her and moved away from the hands that pulled at her clothes. "That's okay."

"Aw, she's shy..." She laughed toward the group.

"Can I undress myself?" Yin hoped they didn't think her request too odd. She didn't want to get caught so quickly.

"Sure thing," Yin entered what she thought would be a simple bathroom, only to find that the door led to some kind of bathhouse. There were rows of showers with a large ofuro tub against the wall. She undressed and folded her dress, concealing the knife within her foldings.

She heard a knock on the door and a muffled, "Sister? Can we come in?"

Why did they want to bathe her so badly? "Uh...Okay," She hadn't met anyone besides Kiko who actively wanted her to get naked.

A number of them flooded the room and sat her down at one of the showers let the warm water coat her with a refreshing dose of cleanliness. They collectively rubbed her down, showing no discretion with their scrubbing, and rinsed her off. And though she didn't feel it necessary, they began washing her hair as well.

"This reminds of when I first became apart of the family..." One of the girls reminisced as her fingers massaged Yin's scalp with just enough roughness. One by one the girls tried to recall whether or not their arrival to Alucricity included a shower. Yin was mistified by the overwhelming sense of comradery that enveloped the room. Everyone was so friendly, and the air was so playful. It was so foreign to her that Yin didn't even care if it was all a ruse, she'd still be grateful.

Vivid tales continued to spill from their mouths even after they'd rinsed and dried Yin hair and body. Yin was fitted with a plain white dress with red trimmings and detached sleeves. Her large sleeves started just above her elbows. The women cooed and buttered her up with compliments on her looks. Two of them offered to braid her hair. Yin wondered how they could do it without getting in each other's way, but they made it happen none the less.

As the women shared tales that ranged from their own experiences to legends relying solely on them to be kept alive, Yin was left to wonder what she'd been so worried about.

* * *

Hei was worried sick. Though he would never admit out loud, he couldn't help but stress over if she was alright. He felt that same sinking feeling he had when she ran away, and Huang kept pressuring him to kill her. But it returned to him even stronger this time, because if anything happened, it would be on him. He didn't realize he'd miss her this much, it felt odd to long for someone's return other than his sister's.

He hadn't realized what a constant in his life she'd become. Her silent presence had always been in the back of his mind. She'd always been there to support him, even when it didn't benefit her. Even when she knew she wouldn't be recognised for it. She remained loyal to him, even when he'd treated her like nothing more than a disposable doll. Which was something he was only now beginning to notice had affected her.

He just starting to appreciate her friendship as well. He wondered if she'd formed some sort of intimate alliance with someone at Alucricity yet. He hoped so, he came to realize it was much safer, even in the Syndicate. Somehow, he felt less safe without her around, he could only imagine what kind danger she must be in, how afraid she must be.

One would think that someone as lethal as the black reaper would have no problem functioning without a doll. But he was surprised at how often his life hung in the balance. To make matters worse, wasn't without a doll. The Syndicate, being careful as they are, fitted the team with a temporary, or possibly permanent, doll for them to work with.

She wore a bright orange dress that contrasted with her raven colored hair and generally gloomy presence. Though he was used to depressing environments, she did throw him for a bit of a loop. He kept trying for her name but she insisted it wasn't important considering she wasn't staying long. Hei found it odd that she'd think that, since such a thing hadn't officially been decided, and there was no reason for her to care about what happens to Yin during her stay at Alucricity.

Let's just say she wasn't much help on the battlefield. She gave the bare minimum when it came to giving directions, not caring if Hei's getting lost would cause him to stumble upon the enemy in a compromising position. She was especially useless when it came to giving follow-up directions. Whereas Yin would warn him of extra assailants or impending traps, she would remain silent. Any warning she gave was so vague that the enemy would already have the upperhand by the time he'd figured out what she'd meant. It was as if she were trying to kill him with passive aggressiveness.

She wasn't particularly friendly either. She seemed to hold a healthy amount of disdain for each member of the team. Even Huang's constant jarring behavior wasn't as harsh as her cold stare. She looked upon them with resentment and something akin to rage. It wasn't the fact that she held such strong emotions after only knowing them for a short while that made them all so uncomfortable, but the fact that she was most definitely still a doll. Hei'd never met a doll other than Yin who was this expressive. Some part of him still refused to believe that any of this was possible.

He wondered what they had Yin doing. A ruthless organization like that probably had her working like a pack mule. People rarely gave dolls a chance to breathe before putting them to work. He only felt worse as he realized that Yin was probably used to such treatment anyway.

* * *

Yin felt out of place in such a friendly atmosphere. She felt like she should be doing something, taking some sort of order from an authority figure. The way they all sat littered around the room in such a careless manner was strange to her. Some of them lay draped across each other, with their legs over another's lap, or their head resting against the breast of their "sister". Even one of the older women whose voice Yin was beginning to find very soothing, had moved Yin to sit on her lap. Why let a stranger enter your personal space unless you were ordered to?

"You're awfully quiet dear." Someone spoke from the crowd.

"I haven't been addressed," Yin clarified. The women grunted in disapproval.

"You don't need to worry about that sister, you can join in anytime you want!"

"How...how do I when to..."

"It doesn't matter! We interrupt each other all the time! You learn to get used to it in a group this big." Said another.

"I don't..I don't have any information. What am I supposed to say?"

The women shared glances at each other not knowing how to get the poor girl to open up. But they weren't too worried, they'd dealt with dolls before and they knew there was hope in each one. They could already this one was special. She had an air around her that revealed what she was feeling, if you tried hard enough. They could tell she was afraid and uncertain, but they've welcomed much more stubborn people into their large group.

"It's okay, I know you'll come around."

Yin wondered if she'd disappointed them, but somehow her untoward presence didn't dampen the light air surrounding her.

"Ah-! Uh, sister...will you be staying here tonight?" The girl who sat in front of her asked almost tentatively. Which was new to Yin since none of these women seemed to have any modesty.

"...Am I?" Something about the question must've been hilarious because the women erupted into uproarious laughter.

"It's up to you sister," One from the far back spoke once the laughter had died down.

"So...I...decide?" Yin had only ever been given one decision to make for herself since she'd become a doll, and considering how the Syndicate continued to treat her, she wondered if she'd made the right choice. But maybe here, they'd give her more. She could learn how to decide for herself.

"Where can I stay?"


	5. Chapter 5

Yin woke up early, a habit she decided to form considering that once the others awoke there was no chance at alone time. It was a harsh lesson she learned during her first few days of arrival. Remembering why she had come there in the first place, Yin set out to gain information once again. Yin worked her to the bathroom, a little disoriented due her slight unfamiliarity. She plugged the drain in the sink and filled it with water. She sent spectre out, careful not to linger in areas with the contractors, even if she did believe them to be sleeping. Her spectre popped up in stray buckets kept to prevent leaks from making a mess, and even spills that just haven't been tended to yet. She quickly began to memorize the area, looking for any weak spots in major structures.

During her sweep, Yin stumbled across a cellar. Yin was careful to take note of the place, it was a possible hiding spot, if anyone made there when the Syndicate attacked they could contact the base in secrecy. Yin knew that wouldn't be blamed on the insufficiency of the agents, but on her. It was damp and fairly dark, but even then Yin noticed something scamper past her spectre. She pulled back immediately, fearing she'd been spotted. She couldn't tell what had rushed past her vision, but given more thought, it couldn't have been big enough to be a human. It couldn't even pass for a child. It was probably some sort of stray that had wandered in looking for something to nibble on.

"Sister? You're awake so early?" A soft voice asked, managing to startle Yin. Of course none of this appeared on her face. Yin briefly wondered if any of them knew her name. Maybe that was why they kept calling her sister?

"It's Yin," She informed just in case. "My name's Yin."

"That's awfully pretty sister." The woman smiled. "Mine's Shira, but that's not really important."

"Why not?" Yin was becoming even more puzzled by odd 'sister' trend.

"Because we're all family here, but if you like, I can just call you Yin."

Yin thanked her and tried to weasel herself out of one the long intricate conversations these women always seemed to have, but to no avail.

"Oh- Yin, I don't know if you meant to stay permanently, but I really do hope you'll stay longer." Shira looked at her with soft pleading eyes, and though Yin could not see her expression, she could still feel it's weight.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Yin left. They were scheduled to meet up in secrecy, if Yin wasn't being held up that is. Hei was relieved to be the first member to gather info from her. He didn't know if he could wait much longer if that was the case. They all took turns of course. Meeting altogether would be obvious and unnecessarily suspicious.

Hei waited near the outskirts of Tokyo. The area was more run down than what he was used to, but it wasn't entirely new to him. He'd seen his fair share of ghettos and desolate wastelands. He lingered in an alleyway for a few hours, and though his orders commanded that he stay an hour tops, he wanted to wait this out. He wanted to see her, to know that she was okay. He knew that if he come back with no info they'd decide she was lost to the enemy and write her off as dead. If the Syndicate did catch wind of her again they'd most certainly kill her. There was a time when his logical mind would find this acceptable and the best course of action, but he was beginning wonder...

Either way, he'd got her into this mess, so he decided he should do what he can to help her. They were partners after all.

"Hei," She called.

"Yin," He turned to her. Her voice sounded a bit different than usual. It held a certain lightness to it. Even her eyes held a slight glow. Or maybe it was the brightness of her cream colored dress that brought about a distant aura around her. He didn't mind her purple dress of course, but he rarely got to see her wear anything other than the dark colors she normally donned. It was nice. He stepped closer to her, an arm reaching out to her, but he stopped short. He wanted to hug her, but he didn't know if he should. It felt right to him, but at the same time, very, very wrong. He was contractor, the desire to hug her shouldn't even cross his mind.

Sensing what he wanted, Yin stepped deeper within his large frame and wrapped an arm around him. She grabbed one of his hands pulled it around her. He accepted the hug passively, afraid to ruin the seemingly fragile moment.

"It's good to see you Hei," she whispered past his shoulder.

"You too, Yin." He smiled slightly, his mood already lifting.

"You look good," The words slipped past his lips without thinking. "You're not hurt are you?" He added in an attempt to cover up his compliment.

She nodded her head no. "They're good to me there, I feel fine."

Hei was relieved to hear this. The feel of relief nearly startled him, as if it had made it its business to distance itself from Hei. Still, Hei was surprised that they hadn't worked her into the ground as of yet. "What do you think they're planning?"

"I don't know, it could be nothing..." Yin was beginning to feel convinced that the members from Alucricity meant her no harm. "They have four rows of connected housing in their hideout field. The fifth house in the third row to right has a loose floorboard. There's a narrow tunnel beneath that, we could possibly plant an explosive there."

Hei repeated her intell to himself a few times, memorizing it easily. "Anything else?"

"I also discovered a cellar. It' in the last house in the fourth row to the left."

"Got it."

Yin reluctantly turned to leave, lingering for a bit longer. She'd missed him sure, but she didn't know what she was expecting. There were times when she longed for the small talk they used to share, and the understanding look his eyes gave when they searched hers. The silence seemed less lonely when he was around. Sure the silence was now filled with life and laughter now that she was with the women of Alucricity, but she didn't quite feel apart of it. But she and Hei, they were partners. They understood each other, however little that may be. But there was no reason for him to feel the same.

"Yin," Hei called, almost urgently. Oddly enough, he didn't want this to be over yet. He'd missed the empty space she filled. Seeing the cold eyes of their new doll every time his feet instinctively lead him to Yin's old tobacco shop, made him long for the life he thought may be blossoming beneath Yin's magenta orbs. He reached out to her, grasping her wrist within his firm hold.

She turned back to him, looking toward him a bit hopefully. Relieved that he may want to be in her presence just as much as she did. "Hei?"

"You don't have to go just yet do you?" Yin stepped closer to him.

For a moment he forgot that the Syndicate's ever seeing eye was still on them. He didn't know what he was thinking when he took her out to eat.


	6. Chapter 6

The couple sat at a quaint noodle stand, much like the one closer to home that Hei normally goes to. They indulged in the nostalgic air brought on by one of the numerous conversations that shouldn't have occurred between a doll and a contractor. Both were glad that they'd taken the time to embrace the moment, knowing that they'd regret leaving on time.

"I've never thought about it but, where do you live Yin? I've never seen you leave the tobacco shop." Hei questioned after loosening up considerably. He noticed that she too was much more open than he'd ever seen her before.

"That _is_ where I live. I pretend to run the shop and then I just sleep there when the day's over."

Hei stood dumbstruck for a moment, his mind unable to find the words to say. He could hardly fathom how ridiculous such a notion was. He pondered the idea that she might be joking, but he couldn't bring himself to actually consider that and actual possibility. He figured she simply wasn't telling the whole truth. She did have a tendency to do that, especially since dolls were trained to give specific details and nothing more. "...Yeah, but you still have somewhere else to go though, right?"

"No," She replied simply. She figured he already knew, it was more convenient for her to stay in one place so the Syndicate could always find her. She hardly had the freedom to go out and do anything. Just seeing Kiko for an afternoon posed a problem for the Syndicate.

Hei was baffled to say the least. How could they make a person live in a tiny shack like that? He doubted she even had the leg room to lie down properly. He wondered what else about her life was as painfully unfair. He found himself respecting her persistence a bit more than before and wondered if her level of endurance surpassed that of his own.

"That's horrible," He told her, placing his hand on hers.

She vaguely wondered why he was getting so upset about this. She was a doll, it shouldn't matter to her or anyone else where she stayed. Shelter was the only thing that mattered, be it a slum or high maintenance apartment. This was just the way things were, the way things were going to stay when this was all over.

...Right?

"It's not so bad, I have a bed now. My own room even," She told him, feeling the need to cheer him up. Hei was a bit surprised hear how well she was being treated. He didn't expect them to put her in some shack like the Syndicate, but he didn't think she'd get a full room to herself. For a doll this was extremely lucky. Even he had to gain a title before he could secure the lackluster apartment he lived in now.

"...But it's almost as if I share it with everyone. The women there are always together-" Yin's voice lifted slightly as her mind drifted a bit. The carefree feeling was so foreign to her that she was involuntarily snapped back into reality. At her rediscovered consciousness, she realized how long she'd been gone. It was nearly nightfall! How could she possible get out of this now? There was no way they wouldn't notice, especially since they were quite the protruding bunch. Yin stood abruptly and Hei looked up at her.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I have to get back."

"-Oh! You're right. I shouldn't have kept you." Hei began to worry. The odd feeling felt new to him and stirred a nasty twist in his stomach.

"I think I'll be fine, I don't really think they'll hurt me."

"Do you still have that knife I gave you?" His features held a hint of uneasiness to them.

She insisted she was going to be fine and that she should head back as soon as possible. But his worried gazed still burned her back as she turned away. She knew their next meeting wouldn't be for a long while. Especially since he wouldn't be showing up for the next few encounters. So she offered to call him on her earpiece as soon as the coast was clear.

She was glad to feel his relief clear the air that his worry had clouded.

* * *

As Yin snuck back onto the campgrounds that concealed the hideout, she was surprised to find all the members seemed to be shrouded in festivities. There were strings of lanterns reaching across the air as they bounced in between the flagpoles they were attached to. Other poles were set up to support little figurines that sported different dance poses. When Yin ran her fingers along one of the thin pillars she found that they'd been intricately carved. There were a few men serving people at the two large tables containing a bountiful amount of food.

And in the center of it all, a large bonfire. It's light was so warm and inviting that it helped ease her into the festivities.

Men and women alike launched their rhythmic assault on their large drums, and others strummed their guitars with the same type of passion. Torch dancers spun tossed their flames around while letting their bodies blend into the beat. A group of women flourished their weapons, thrusting and swinging them about in a sort of dance to display their strength and grace. All the while the rest of the clan sang and danced, some in tune with the rest of the festivities and others to their own beat.

The air around them seemed to burn alive with the sheer force of the euphoria they were all releasing together. Yin decided that just this once, her other senses weren't strong enough to take all this in on their own. She had to see this for herself. Luckily for her though she didn't have to go far to find some water, she'd stepped in a puddle deep enough for her to summon her spectre right next to her.

Her secondary sight scoped the area and she found herself mystified. She looked upon the gleeful faces of all those around her. She noticed the shy smiles of those who were new to this as well. She stared at the sweat glistened women and their satisfied smiles as they swung their weapons in unison. She found that their well toned muscles held a new kind of beauty. She stared deeply into the eyes of those bringing life to the music. Their body language both determined, and yet relaxed at the same time. Somehow she felt their air to be the most relatable. For a moment she almost felt ashamed that she could no longer wear an expression like that, but the pure happiness was so alive around her that she couldn't bring herself to be ashamed for very long.

Yin was dazzled by unending streams the torch dancers created with their fire. The flames seemed so uncontrollable, but in their capable hands, she felt safe enough to reach out and touch, but she knew better. Still, they let it prance around the open air, teasing you, daring you to fear it.

"There you are!" Yin jumped at the voice. It was Shira again.

Yin turned to her, her mouth opening and closing several times before deciding it was done with game of charades and had nothing to say.

"I've been looking for you, did you fall asleep?" Shira asked innocently. Yin was surprised she, nor anyone else for that matter, hadn't caught on to her whereabouts. Spending extra time with Hei was a risky move that she had no backup plans for. Though a bonfire party like this would be enough to distract anyone from even a mass murder.

"Yes, I only meant to take a nap, but I guess time got away from me..." Yin felt it best to change the subject. "What are we celebrating?"

"This is the recruitment ceremony, We're welcoming a new member!" Shira bounced with excitement.

"All this for a one new member?"

"Of course! This is all for them! That is...if they decide to stay, this is only the first part of the ceremony."

"So, they can leave? Even after all this?" Shira nodded her head yes. Yin found it extremely strange that they would go through all this trouble for someone who might not even stay.

"Maybe... maybe one day, you'll have a recruitment ceremony too? One you'll see through to the end?" Shira questioned hopefully. Yin knew she had her implications, but her voice was just too soft and soothing to be pressuring. And something about Shira was far too hard to resist.

"Maybe." Yin answered.

The two looked on together as the festivities blazed on brighter. Eventually even Shira went to join her companions in their celebration. Yin watched as the usually reserved Shira hitched up the skirt of her dress and flailed it about as she bounced and swayed her body in time with the music. Her smile was soft as usual, but there was glint in her eye that revealed that there was more fire in her steps, in her, than had Yin previously thought.

In Shira's absence, boy a slid next to Yin and sat beside her. Yin turned to him, looking at him with her spectre. He was dressed in red and black robes. The detailed patterns beneath the opening proved that they must've been wrapped intricately. His face was decorated in some sort of tribal markings. Yellow paint covered his forehead and ran down the bridge of his nose. Two long red lines decorated his cheeks. Upon closer inspection Yin noticed the four red swirls amongst the yellow on his forehead.

"Pretty crazy huh?" He spoke at last.

"Is this...for you?" Yin asked.

"Yeah, I'm not one for parties though." He brought his knees a bit closer to his chest. Yin could tell he must've felt overdressed in that fancy get up, and this extravagant party wasn't helping either. But there was something else about him, the way his eyes lightly glistened for a moment...he had more to tell. It was a feeling she knew well.

"You're a doll?"

"It doesn't seem like it at first does it?" He gave a twitchy smile. Yin pressed her index fingers to corners of his mouth, the way she would her own and alleviated the pressure from his struggle.

"You can just do this if it's too hard sometimes." She released one of her fingers from his face and pressed it to her own mouth, giving him a half smile.

He gave an odd sounding chuckle. "I'll give it a try. But I'm sure one day I won't have to, and neither will you."

"How do you know?" She asked, daring to be hopeful.

"It's this place, it changes you. Contractors, dolls, we can be people here." He looked up at the sky with a look similar to that of someone recovering in a hospital, a vague excitement for the future to come. She wanted that. She wanted feel what he was feeling. She wanted it to show. The desire only burned her more now, knowing that it could be more than just a mere fantasy.

Yin spent the night with the boy who was just as strange for doll as she was. They stared into the bonfire until sleep overtook them. Yin didn't spare a second thought for the call she promised Hei, nor the sleepless night he spent because of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Hei sauntered around in a depressing haze. He wore a numbing expression that differed greatly from his usual far away look tinged with anger. The rest of the group wondered what was wrong with him. He seemed fine a few days ago, in fact he almost had a bit of a glow to him when he returned from his meeting with Yin. Though he still seemed a bit worried about something, there was still an aura of happiness around him. What could've happened between then and now to cause such a drastic change?

"Hei," Mao called, hopping onto his window sill. "What's wrong?"

Hei didn't answer. He was too focused on the deterring thoughts that had been plaguing him since Yin returned to Alucricity. He wondered what they'd done to her. She must've been murdered on site. Or maybe they were keeping her alive, trying to squeeze all the information out of her. Then they'd send her back to the Syndicate and _they'd_ kill her for sure. Maybe she used the knife he gave her... but there were so many of them, they could've easily overpowered her. He was sure her retaliation would only result in a more brutal death.

Why didn't he just let her leave in the first place? He shouldn't have taken her out, he shouldn't have even lingered in the first place. What was he thinking? There was absolutely nothing to gain from spending time with her, he'd already gotten the information he needed, why push it? It was illogical, selfish even!

Then why did he feel like he'd gained something extremely valuable in the moment he shared with her? He hadn't slept in a few days. thoughts of her fleeting safety kept penetrating his mind without his permission. But something that bothered him even more was how illogical he was being. Who cares what happens to a doll? People die, especially in this line of work, so why was he trying so hard to keep her alive? If he felt that she was a goner then he should just get over and move on. He convinced himself repeatedly that it was because if she died then he'd be stuck with that other doll who had no concern for his life. No, he couldn't function with her around, Yin was much more efficient. But even that couldn't silence the jabbing uneasiness he felt. He stayed up all night waiting for that call...

"Hei!" Mao yelled. He'd been trying to talk some sense into him this whole time, but all Hei seemed to be interested in drifting off.

"What is it?" Hei grunted.

"Huang's making me meet Yin for his turn instead, but I know he's up to something..." Mao explained.

"So...?"

"I'm gonna follow him, something about this feels off. I need you to meet with Yin instead."

Hei couldn't believe his luck. "Isn't that..."

"-Against protocol? Yes. But I think Huang may be tampering with secret files within the Syndicate, and that could land us all in some serious trouble..."

Hei tuned out halfway through Mao's little speech. He was thankful for the opportunity. He still feared Yin was being held captive or worse, but even so, he would do his best to protect her. They'd come up with a plan this time. Maybe they could forge some sort of escape route...

"I'll do it." Hei interrupted.

"Wha-?"

"I'll go instead, you can go do your cat-stuff while I'm gone."

"Cat-stuff?!" Mao yelled. Had he been listening at all?

"Now get out of my apartment before I let the landlady turn you into stew!" Mao's fur jumped at this and he scurried off throwing glares behind him in annoyance.

* * *

Yin's muscles throbbed in agony as she curved her body upwards. Her knees bent around the support bar as she leaned up again to complete another inverted sit up. The medicine ball was heavy in her hands, and only made the pressure on her body worse. Her heart was pounding, trying to spread the blood all across her body to keep up with the rigorous workout Yin was putting herself through. She let a heavy breath, having forgotten to breathe for a moment. Sweat was gathering on her body and began to glisten once the sun hit it right. Yin had been at for three hours now, but she hadn't been told to stop, so she continued on.

"Okay Yin, that's enough." Tanai, her trainer called. Yin dropped the medicine ball beneath her, the heavy thing plopped to the ground without a bounce. Yin grasped the bar with her hands, pulling her body forward and flipping herself off. "You can stop if you get too tired you know. I don't want you overexerting yourself."

"I was waiting for you to stop me." Yin's voice remained nullified despite her exhaustion.

"I can't tell when you're too tired," Tanai laughed. "You have been making some serious progress though, I think I can already see your abs coming in!"

Yin ignored her as she wondered if it was really possible for to stop on her own. She couldn't of a reason why anyone here would get mad at her, maybe she did have a choice. She thought of how rigorous the training in the Syndicate was. They would have contractors and or modified dolls working round the clock, and they often times sent trainees out into the field with an overseer who couldn't care less about whether they lived or died. It didn't matter if you were a child or adult, if you were a contractor your body had no limits.

"Go ahead and take a break Yin, after that we'll run around the campsite with the medicine ball a few times."

Yin swore that damn ball was out to kill her.

Yin wandered into Shira's home, grabbing the water she left out for her. Though Yin never told her when she'd be working out, or anything about her schedule really, Shira always seemed to know what she doing. Where she was going, who she was with...but Shira still seemed out of the loop when it came to the important stuff. Besides, Yin felt she could trust her. She was dependable and reasonable to say the least.

"Taking a break?" Shira spoke, stepping into the room.

"Yes."

"You're not pushing yourself too hard are you?" Shira walked into the kitchen where Yin was. "You should eat something." Shira began making her a sandwich. Yin looked at her brown hair, which she held in a ponytail that cascaded down her left shoulder and just past her breast. Her soft, kind eyes stared into the horizon, ready for whatever the future may bring. Her shoulders were always held high, and the air around her revealed that nothing could bring her down, and that no one should want to. She was a domestic goddess, but the way she assisted Yin in some of her techniques told that was once a warrior, and still could be if needed. Shira made this place feel like some semblance of home, and Yin had a hard time accepting that.

"You...you don't have..." Yin let out a sigh-like grunt. Like that of someone with a speech impediment still going through the intimate stages of therapy, but were too excited to face the fact that they simply weren't there yet.

Shira could feel Yin's frustration brewing and skillfully interpreted what she was trying to convey. Even though Yin hadn't been there all that long, she somehow knew Yin like the back of her hand. "You don't want me to make the sandwiches?"

Yin nodded her head yes and Shira smiled.

"I- do I...have choice?" Yin had been thinking night and day about this question, and she feared that if she ever asked it out loud that she'd get a cruel reminder of her true status in this world. She knew the answer was no. It had been ever since she became a doll. The Syndicate made sure she knew with their constant reminders of the consequences she'd face if she presented them with any kind of failure. She'd heard humans and contractors alike berate her kind and deem them all as useless and replaceable. There were people who killed dolls for fun, and it was no crime among the human society, or the chaotic community of which she belonged to. If there was any suspicion that a doll would so much as mess something up for you, they died. That was just how it was. There was no point in wondering whether or not you had a choice as a doll, because you didn't. End of story.

But seeing the way people acted here, the way they treated her...she wondered if it were okay. If she were allowed to think for herself, to say No, to ask questions on her own. To say something completely irrelevant, but for it to have meaning as long as it meant something to her. When she was here, the barrier separating people from dolls or contractors didn't exist. She was aware that there were contractors and dolls in this camp, but she couldn't tell who lead a normal life from the get go, or who held ties to the stars that plagued the skies. So she dared to think for herself. But the Syndicate's ever seeing eye burned a fear into the back of her mind, and she wouldn't risk voicing her thoughts. She knew that somehow, someway, they'd hear it too. And it would be the end of her.

So she kept her controversial thoughts locked up within the confines of her mind where she knew they were safe. She'd begun to open up before, when she felt a steady trust had been established with Hei, but now...now she wondered if he valued the utmost privacy her words required. What she thought was a personal secret was simply information to tossed around to him. She wanted to be angry, to tell him that he hadn't helped her at all. But her feelings were too underdeveloped, she couldn't comprehend anger the way she used to, even with the slight warmth in her chest that threatened to burn her. Besides, hearing how stressed his voice became once Huang delivered the news, proved that he had begun to see things in new light. And he did help her, in a way. He showed her that it was better keep your thoughts and feeling on the inside. They were dangerous on the outside, and there was no place for them.

"Of course you do." Shira stepped closer to Yin and raise her chin up so there eyes could meet, and though it didn't have a visual effect, it made her words stronger. "Whether it's about making sandwiches, or training, or even running away from people who want to put you down. You have a choice. And I'll help you protect that right, no matter what happens."

"But I-"

Shira placed her finger against Yin's lips, but Yin was too distraught to notice the familiar gesture.

"You're your own person now, and no one can take that away from you,"

Yin's eyes reflected a bright light. One that no artificial light could mimic. One that came from within. It's rays streamed through the large cracks in the barrier she put up for herself. She felt the walls come tumbling down, in that moment of fragility, she clung to Shira for support. She felt naked, raw, to this new reality. Thick heavy tears clouded her blind eyes and she had no choice but to let them fall.

Shira pulled Yin to her and let her body act as a shelter from the feelings that must've been rocking the poor girl with their aggressiveness. She ran her fingers through Yin's hair, in an effort to soothe all the intense emotions Yin was finally letting out. "It's okay, I'm here."

Unlike the tears she shed when she felt the fleeting spectre's light, Yin sobbed loudly this time. A saddened grimace graced her face as Yin wrapped her arms around Shira in return.

Yin soon realized that she was wrong, Hei had helped her, but not in the way she'd initially thought. He got her here, they showed her that there was a place for her thoughts, her emotions. And it wasn't dangerous at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Mao peaked out the window of the luggage car he'd been hiding away in, awaiting Huang's exit. The train ride had been long and bumpy for the cat, and his back was killing him at the moment. _'This better be worth it,'_ He thought to himself. He spotted Huang getting off the train and hopped out the window. Mao trailed behind him at a safe distance and took a moment to observe his surroundings.

He was in some desolate city. Someplace far from Tokyo and probably even farther from anywhere else. Smog filled the air and the streets bore the scars of destruction. There were more graffiti than there were buildings here, and Mao couldn't help but wonder anyone, even Huang, would take the trouble to get to a run-down place like this.

Huang turned the corner into an alleyway and Mao jumped into a crow, adjusting to its body quickly and remaining the air long enough to perform a safe landing. He stood perched on the edge of a broken fire escape. Mao then noticed the thin figure Huang was standing a few feet from.

"You got the info?" Huang questioned cautiously.

"Everything's here in black and white. See for yourself." The boney shadowy figure tossed an envelope to the ground and it slid to Huang's feet. The man's voice sent a chill down each of their spines. The empty sound seemed to have to rattle through his bones before it could reach them, it was enough to them want to crawl inside themselves.

Mao instantly didn't trust this man, but Huang's eyes told of a desperation that compelled him to ignore the obvious signs. The only question was, what was Huang so desperate about? Huang rushed to pick up the envelope and quickly pulled out the papers inside halfway. After skimming some of the information he confirmed that it was what he was looking for.

"That's not free you know," The man's hollow voice bellowed lowly once again. "Stealing from the Syndicate's a high risk job, you'll have to pay me to keep quiet too."

Mao jumped a bit in surprise. _'Huang's stealing from the Syndicate?'_ Mao thought incredulously. How could someone as paranoid and fear driven as Huang not realize the danger he was getting himself into? The danger he was getting the whole team into! Mao had to know what was on those papers, he couldn't just stand by and let this happen.

Huang's defenses raised a bit. "I told you not to say stuff like that out loud!"

"Don't worry, no one's gonna find out about it. That is, unless I can find a higher bidder for your little secret, then, who knows?" He joked, clearly unmoved by Huang's serious presence.

Whoever this was, they could be trusted and it was clear that they didn't care if weren't. If Huang got caught the whole team would be accused, and there was no way Mao could lie about not knowing anything, even if he had nothing to do with the theft. In the Syndicate two strikes meant three and Mao's been through too much to die for nothing.

"Huang stop!" Mao cried as he swooped down and seized the heavy envelope. Huang jumped back slightly in surprise.

"Mao? What the hell?!" Huang began swatting wildly at the creature, his eyes locked onto the envelope. Mao circled around him in avoidance as his feet clenched the envelope tightly.

"You're gonna get as all killed!" Mao began to feel dizzy, but he wasn't sure if it was from the flying or something else.

"Why'd you follow me ya rat!" Huang swung harder, his anger brewing. "You were supposed to be meeting Yin you cop out!"

"Hei's...Hei's doing it instead..." Mao flattered for second before recovering.

"That's against protocol, the Syndicate's gonna have our heads-"

"...and you think this is going to help?!" Mao could feel his mind slipping...he needed to reconnect to the server. He needed the cat...

Mao quickly thrust himself out of the crow's body and returned to the cat he was so accustom to. The crow fell to the ground for a moment and Huang pulled the envelope from its talons. Life returned to the cat's body and Mao stood. He rushed around the corner once again to talk some sense into Huang.

"Don't do this Huang, I you don't care about the rest of us, but at least think of yourself! The Syndicate will have us murdered!"

Huang walked towards him, snatching him up by the collar he lead them to his rental car.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!?" Mao squirmed uncomfortably since Huang had gripped a chunk of his fur along with his collar. Huang threw him into the backseat and he buckled up.

"I'm gonna need you to keep quiet about this, so that means you're getting more involved than I initially planned."

Mao blanched as he realized that he'd bitten off more than he could chew...

Reluctantly accepting his fate, Mao hopped into the passenger seat, a need he required ever since becoming a cat. It reminded him of his days as a human. Sometimes if the ride was long and soothing enough, and he closed his eyes, he could feel his outstretched fingers. Or the the long thick arms attached to them. Sometimes, if his fur tousled a certain way, it almost felt like the full head of hair that once whipped through the winds...

"What's up with that creepy smile you damn cat? If you're gonna keep doing that then get to the backseat where I can't see it..."

"Most people would want a happy hostage, you know." Mao retorted with an angry pout.

* * *

Yin clenched her fists even tighter as she pounded the punching pads being held up towards her. She felt a surge of pride as one of her strikes proved powerful enough to push Tanai back a few inches despite her always firm stance. In an instant Yin lost but a fraction of her speed and Tanai took the chance to swipe at her. The punching pad caught Yin by the side of her head, almost knocking her to the ground. Yin stumbled but held her ground, lightly touching her cheek in a daze.

"Concentrate!" Tanai scolded. Yin turned back to her raising her fist in front of her face as she spread her legs and bent her knees slightly, her feet pointing inwards. "Are you alright Yin?"

"I'm ready," Yin assured her. Tanai was taken aback at Yin's newfound confidence. Though she was still developing a sense of security, she was making serious progress. Tanai was glad to her finally warming up to the family.

"Are you sure?" Tanai smiled, slipping the punching pads off her hands. Yin simply stared back at her, letting her eyes do the talking. "You're on."

Tanai took on similar stance and they began to circle each other, searching for an opening. Taking the risk, Yin thrust her fist toward Tanai's face. Tanai reacted quickly and grasped Yin by the wrist, pulling her body closer and plunged her fist into Yin's stomach. Yin ignoring the pain, Yin took advantage of their close proximity and kneed Tanai in the pelvis. Before Tanai could back up Yin slid her leg up the front of her body until her knee was in between her breast and her shin was pressed up against her stomach. She then opened her leg in a fierce kick, ripping her hand from Tanai's suddenly weak grip as she slid backwards.

Before Yin even could prepare another move, Tanai was upon her once again. She landed an uppercut against Yin's jaw, causing her to stumble backwards. As Yin turned her body to regain balance, Tanai successfully executed a back kick against Yin's shoulder blade. Yin fell to the ground, but kicked at Tanai's ankle before she had a chance to set her other foot back down. Tanai dropped to the ground with a thud, letting out a small 'oof'.

They lied beside each other, breathing heavy and sweat dripping from their pores. Yin was grateful for the adrenaline that pulsed through her. She didn't get out often, and learning how to fight made her feel safer. And not from Alucricity, but the Syndicate. Sometimes she thought about confiding in Shira about her concerns of the Syndicate, but she wasn't sure what would happen. She was sure the Syndicate would kill her if she told anyone who she really was or who she worked for. But she found that she was more concerned with what everyone at Alucricity would think. Would she be accepted or regarded as a trader on both sides of the spectrum? Yin felt them wanting nothing to do with her was worse than any pain either side could inflict on her. Training helped her take her mind off things. It made her feel in control.

Besides, her body's never felt more alive, she'd rather be out in the sun reaching new limits than sitting cooped up in some cramped shop.


	9. Chapter 9

"Just tell me one thing," Mao spoke after miles of silence. "Why do all this? What are you looking for?"

Huang was silent for a long time, as if he hadn't heard Mao at all. But Mao could tell that the question had forced him to contemplate something he wasn't very comfortable with. Huang must've figured that if he'd gotten Mao this deep into his mess then he deserved some semblance of a reason why.

"I'm just looking for someone I used to know," Huang replied. "Let's just say it's the only reason I work for the Syndicate."

Mao decided that whoever Huang was looking for a must've been extremely important to him. If the desire to search for them was enough to make him work with the very people he hated so greatly, then they must've left a big impact on him. Curiosity bit at Mao as he felt compelled ask him more about his past. "Who-?"

"That's all I'm gonna say." The harshness in Huang's voice had a bitter edge that told Mao he was done with the subject.

It wasn't long until the two arrived upon an abandoned building. Black mold clung to the walls as if it were a decorative piece, and many areas along the building had deteriorated, leaving long lengthy holes in spots that should've been more secure. The pair was more or less used to this kind of thing, but Mao with his heightened sense of smell was a bit more reluctant to enter the building than Huang. Nevertheless, they treaded forward.

Huang held his handgun in front of his face, pointing it up to the sky as he leaned against the wall beside the doorway. He slowly turned his head and peeked in on the scene before him. There was a small group of about ten people all sitting around some kind of satanic circle. In the center of the circle was their leader, Huang remembered getting a briefing her once before. If he remembered correctly her name was Alma and she was operating some sort of wonky religion. The Syndicate wasn't too worried about her, but they wanted to stop her cult from progressing any further than this. If she gained any more power then she might prove to be a problem. He recognized her blonde hair and odd purple eyes, but she wasn't the one he was looking for.

His eyes scanned the area for the familiar face, but he couldn't find her. His heart sank as he finally registered that she just wasn't there. His body burned with rage and despair as he found that all his efforts, every risk he took was in vain. His face twisted with regret as he realized that he couldn't undo the crimes he committed against the Syndicate. He would be killed without so much as a glance at the woman who ruined his life.

But then... he saw it. It was her. He could never forget those sparkling chocolate-colored eyes that dark brown hair, or that dark brown hair, though it has grown since the last he'd seen her. Though her beauty was nowhere near enough to get him to forgive her utter betrayal and double-sidedness. Huang clenched his gun tighter. She held a knife that bore curves along it's sharp edges. She sat in front of Alma at the edge of the circle. Turning to her partner she grabbed her hand and slit her wrist, the woman then took the knife for herself and slit the wrist of the next women.

Huang, deciding he'd had enough of spectating, kicked down the door without much effort and entered the building with his gun in the air and the power of revengeance within his grasp. He fired three bullets into the ceiling, which surprisingly didn't collapse upon contact. He shouted out her name angrily:

"Shihoko!" They all stood in surprise. All but Alma, who despite her body which seemed to glow with youth, was actually very frail. They stood petrified, it was as if they were torn between fearing for their lives or having faith that Alma in her great power and wisdom would protect them.

"Huang?! How did you find me?" Shihoko questioned incredulously, her hands raised in the air.

"What do you want with my members?" Alma demanded, showing no fear.

"Listen lady, I don't give a shit about your voodoo cult okay! I'm just here to give Shihoko what she deserves! What every monster like her deserves! You should feel lucky that I'm not here for you too dammit!"

"We're not monsters," Alma replied calmly. "None of us have done wrong, and those of us who have are on the path to forgiveness..."

"Huang please, I don't wanna have to do terrible-" Shihoko begged.

"Oh please, maybe you could've faked it before, but I know what you are...You're a monster, just like the rest of your kind..."

Alma looked up suspiciously at Shihoko. "You two know each other? Did you...did you lead him here?"

The other members turned to Shihoko as well, and a hostile air fell over the room. Murmurers of speculation filled the area as it seemed that every finger was now pointing at Shihoko.

"She betrayed the FOHG!"

"She sent him here to kill Holy Alma!"

Shihoko noticed that one of the members tightened their grasp on the ritual knife. Sensing the danger, Shihoko activated her power and ruptured numerous fatal organs within the women's body. She immediately dropped the knife as she felt pain explode throughout her body. Blood poured from every opening in her body. It burst through her mouth, nose, ears, and eyes.

Huang looked on in horror as he recalled the terrifying events that occurred due to that very ability. He remembered the way he grunted in pain until he died, and the panicked look on his wife's' face as she realized that there was probably no way to help him. The woman's still torn up about not being able to remember his death, nor the events leading up to it. He still didn't have the heart to tell her, besides, he'd probably get killed if he did. The memory he tried so hard to push to the back of his mind returned to his eyes as he vividly saw his close friend and partner Isozaki's dilated eyes nearly popped out of his skull to make room for aggressive flow of blood that rushed from his face.

He still had nightmares about it. Sometimes he was the victim, sometimes it was Isozaki's wife, but no more! He was ending this _now_.

The other members backed away from Shihoko, not willing to risk standing off with her. It wasn't long before they fled the scene, a few were hesitant to leave Alma, but escaped all the same. Shihoko dropped to her knees as she felt weight of her remuneration fall upon her shoulders once again. All the emotions that had once made her human returned to her. She felt the regret, fear, and self hatred come back to her just as it alway did whenever she paid her price. Tears slipped from her eyes she recalled all the awful sins she'd committed time and time again. She remembered the tortured faces of those she'd killed so brutally, and Isozaki was no exception. But the image of Huang's traumatized face had burned into her mind, and she often lingered on the thought whenever she was paying her price. She covered her mouth, suddenly feeling nauseous.

Watching her sit there crouched over in agony, it stirred something vile in Huang's stomach. How dare she sit and act as if she wasn't the emotionless monster that had thrust him into this hellhole? Couldn't she see that no one was fooled by this pointless charade of her's.

"Goddammit! Stop it Shihoko!" Huang hit her across the face with his gun. She fell onto her side with a yelp. A large bruise began to form on her cheek and she winced in pain. She wanted to comfort her aching face but she feared Huang would shoot her if she moved too much.

"Please Huang," Shihoko begged. Something in her reflected the passion he'd fallen in love with all those years ago, and Huang hesitated.

"Why'd you do it?" He looked away from her.

"W-Why?"

"How could you kill Isozaki? How could you destroy his body like that!?" Huang was already certain in his own mind of the reasons, but he wanted to her say it, to confess that she was a monster who'd set out to ruin him.

"He was an accomplice to a Syndicate member's murder, I was only sent to pursue him. I wasn't trying to hurt you,"

"Lies! Isozaki was my partner, he was human! There's no way He'd ever get involved with anything having to do with the Syndicate!"

"He was one of Alma's partners! There was even a picture of them together! We were able to catch wind of it before he disposed of the photo."

"This is true," Alma interjected. "But you killed one of my associates, I can no longer trust you."

"That doesn't matter, because I'm ending this now!" Huang pointed his gun at Shihoko once again.

"Huang, I just...I just want you to know that I did have feelings for you...Somewhere along the way I-I lost control of the act," She looked up at him, her eyes glossy with the tears of regret and shame.

"Don't...don't look at me like that, I'm tired of you pretending..."

"I'm not pretending. I regain my feelings every time I use my power, that's my price..." Shihoko placed her hand over her heart and felt it beat with newfound life. "But even without my price, the love I held for you remained intact. Even looking back at the time before, It still makes me feel warm inside..."

"I remember the look on your face when I-I killed Isozaki, when I payed my price that night, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do..." Shihoko continued to look down, as if meeting Huang's eyes would cause her psychical pain. "It seemed to last forever, and the pain hurt so bad I wished somebody would've swooped down killed me right then and there..."

"Fitting for a monster like you," Huang cocked his gun.

"But at the same time... I'm glad this happens. I like the pain, I deserve to suffer...and it's that memory especially that reminds me of who I am! If the memory died, then I would too. Maybe that's why- that's why I could let them erase your memory, it would be the same as killing you! My memory of that night is only way I can atone for what I've done. It reminds me that I- that I'm human-!"

The gunshot echoed through the rotting building, sending ripples through the air with its shattering noise. The bullet ripped through her forehead and reemerged from the back of her head. Blood splattered all over her face and hair, tainting other areas as well. Somehow, in her final seconds, she found the strength to smile. She'd found a way to comprehend the speeding bullet rushing towards her and accept her fate with grace, all before her untimely death reached her. She forgave Huang in an instant, finding that this was nothing in comparison to all the years of suffering she'd caused him.

But he, was nowhere near as forgiving. He instantly regretted what he'd done. From the moment he pulled the trigger he wished he could he take it back. But hearing her lament about the emotions she had despite what she was, it drove him to his breaking point. How could she look at him like that? Those eyes were filled to the brim with the humanity he'd been surrounded by all his life. He wished he could see a flaw in that pained expression she wore. If only her voice wasn't racked with guilt that plagued her. Then maybe...this all would've been so much easier.

He couldn't believe in the emotion he'd inspired in her. If she could love, grieve, and hate herself, then what had he done all this for? Why had he wasted his life looking for her? Why had he spent all his time actually trying to get drunk for once? Why did he allow himself to be immersed in this whirlwind of death and destruction that was the Syndicate? Why had he let himself become consumed by the fires of anger and vengeance?

No. He couldn't- wouldn't accept it. There was no way he wasted his life for absolutely _no reason_. There was no way he mistreated and disregarded his teammates because of a major misunderstanding. If they really did have feelings, then he'd been acting like an abusive, borderline racist handler to them for no reason. But he couldn't let this ring true, not in his twisting mind. The way he saw it, killing her was the only to solidify the facts he'd made up for himself.

So he ended her, and disregarded the regret he felt, even as it pulsed through him. He ignored the emptiness that turned his body into a shell and pretended to be fulfilled. His hand gripped the gun tightly as he looked away from the smiling corpse. He made sure not to linger on her, but the image still burned into his memory.

"Let's go Mao." He grunted. Mao followed in silence. He hadn't said a word the entire time, he knew nothing he could've said would've made any difference. He'd never had any type of impact on Huang before, so there was even less of a reason for him to listen on a subject this important, this personal.

Still, Mao couldn't help but feel sympathy for the man. He didn't realize that he too had such a troubling past. He was learning a lot about his teammates these days, and the facts weren't pretty. He couldn't be sure if Huang's traumatization validated his actions toward the rest of the team, but he did know that resentment wouldn't be of much help.

"It's over now Huang." Mao comforted in his own little way.

Huang said nothing.

"You don't have to think about her ever again." Mao was met with silence once again, but he knew Huang needed to hear it. Mao didn't know if he was trying to be a good comrade to Huang all the sudden or what. It was an odd feeling. He was cat now, a contractor at that. Maybe he was just trying to hold onto any leftover scrap of the humanity he had left. And Huang was holding onto his.


	10. Chapter 10

Hei waited for hours in the infamous Oldiron city, just south of the Syndicate. It seemed they were almost always assigned to meet in the most tattered run-down areas where their safety was certainly in question. But Hei didn't care much at all of the danger, for he could take care of himself, but could Yin? A sinking feeling engulfed him as he watched the sun drift lower and lower in the sky. He prayed for its light to remain, for if night fell, he may be forced to accept the inevitable. The sky gained a purple and orange hue and he felt it was much like him, unable to handle the sun's sudden departure so it began changing color, not knowing what to do with itself.

He didn't like this. It just wouldn't be right without her. He hadn't really considered them much of a team for most of their career together, but there had been a bit of a shift in his thoughts as of late. He thought back on how they'd gotten to where they are now and wondered how it was possible. Somehow she'd sent her spectre inside the gate, despite it being dangerous. She hadn't been ordered to, and there was nothing to gain on her part by helping him, but she did it anyway. It was an anomaly, a glitch in her system is all. And should've he regarded it as such. Yet, in the back of his mind he let himself believe that she'd done it for him. That she wanted him alive because she valued him. While he still had trouble believing it was possible for her to value him, he still felt that she in turn, deserved to be valued as well.

She'd gone missing a few days after that. He was surprised to find himself growing increasingly worried about her whereabouts. Though it was nothing new, he was a bit shocked to see how quickly the Syndicate came to the conclusion of killing her. Everything seemed so rushed, he didn't think it necessary to kill her right the bat. But like the good trained contractor he was, he put aside his feelings -as if they never even existed in fact- and focused on the mission. However, he ended up saving from falling debris triggered by the lethal voice of an enemy contractor, Bertha. He didn't know what was going through his mind when it happened, but in an instant he was on top of her, telling her to run away.

He wouldn't let himself admit it, but he was secretly relieved when she decided to stay. When Kastinen asked her if he was some soft of partner of hers he instinctively answered yes. It slipped out of his mouth without thought, and it wasn't until that moment that he realized that he considered her as such. But once he saw her cry, he realized there was more to her than he'd initially thought. Guy's words burned into his mind; _'You can't treat someone like a doll!'._ As he watched the tears slip from her eyes, it was first time he actually considered the idea that maybe, just maybe, dolls and contractors did have some semblance of emotion. If only a little, no matter how distorted it'd become.

So he decided that if running away with Kastinen was what she truly wanted, then he wouldn't stop her. He wouldn't make her do anything against her will from then on out. That was his promise to himself. Still, he felt a weight off his shoulders when she agreed to his partnership and choose to stay. He believed it was because she knew what would happen once the Syndicate caught on to desertion, and simply didn't want to get Kastinen involved. The idea that she stayed for him was an implication too painful for him to accept.

Darkness shrouded the sky, with the exception of the fake stars. Still he remained, breaking every rule he hadn't already broken. Not only was he compromising the mission by showing up twice in a row, but he was lingering. If she was being held up then that was a clear sign that the others have probably noticed her random disappearances and have decided to keep an eye on her. The whole team was supposed to lay low for a while after that. The Syndicate may be a dominating, slave-driving organization, but their tactics were smart, and usually gained them the upperhand. Hei knew that was the case, but even with this crucial information, he stayed. It was hopeless, she'd probably been killed by now. He hesitated before taking a shaky step forward. He moved slowly, as if moving would kill him, though on the inside it was. It was like admitting that he'd gotten her killed.

"Hei?" Yin stood before the alley Hei concealed himself in.

"Yin!" He cried in relief. He rushed up to her, engulfing her in a hug. He slipped his arms in between hers and slid his hands up her back. For a second, he gave a small smile. He didn't take the time to consider how inappropriate his actions might've to her personally, or in the society he now belonged to. Recovering from her surprise Yin wrapped her arms around him as well, stroking and patting his back. The gesture was so soft and warm that Hei almost gave her loving squeeze.

"I was expecting Mao this time," Yin questioned pushing him an arm's length away so she look at him.

"He ran off to do some cat stuff."

Yin raised an eyebrow at this. "Cat stuff?" Yin wondered if Hei forgot he was just a human stuck inside a cat.

"Yin," His tone grew serious. "Why didn't you contact me before?"

Yin remembered the promise she made instantly felt bad. She remembered how worried he was before she left him. She could hardly leave his side with him feeling so awful, it'd been so long since someone worried for her so genuinely. She was used to needing to fight to be relevant since she was considered so easily replaceable. Despite her not being able to show at the time, she was grateful he was so concerned and didn't want him to feel bad about the day they spent together. So she promised him she'd use her earpiece to call him once she got back, but she got a little distracted.

"I'm so sorry Hei. I really meant to," She looked down in guilt filled shame. How could she forget? "There was a bonfire party, and I-"

"It's fine, as long as you're okay it doesn't matter." He placed a firm and steady hand on her shoulder. "I was scared I might've gotten you killed for a second."

She made a smile with her fingers, grateful for his understanding. Her eyes held a newfound light that anyone could've noticed from a mile away, and he most certainly didn't miss it. Even her lips seemed to do most of the work for the smile before her fingers needed to intervene. She seemed new to him, and he liked it. He didn't like to think too much on why he so infatuated with her emotional development because he almost always ended up treading dangerous territory in his own mind. But he did know that her changing and growing made her happier, even if that meant that she could fear for her life now and then when the steaks were high. Somehow, it seemed to give her life more value, and when he thought too deep, he wondered if she ever lost that value in the first place. Gaining a friendship with her, it made him realize that he wanted to change too.

"Let's get out of here Hei. I want to make it up to you,"

The two spent most of the night together, drinking in each other's company. For the first time in forever, Hei went stargazing in the company of someone else. He usually reserved such a personal activity between him and his sister alone. Even when they were kids and his hostile demeanor hadn't developed yet, he still preferred that it only be between him and his family. Of course that wasn't always the case, Amber had been let into his private circle as well.

Though he didn't have his telescope with him, it still felt nice to look up at the sky and pretend it served as some sort of constant. Though he knew that even that, could change and betray him. He watched as a star fell from the sky, the symbol of a contractor's death. He remembered a time when such an occurrence was a rarity, and a gift at that. He believed that if you saw a shooting star then it a sign that a door to heaven had opened, and if you wished hard enough, god would hear your plea. But now every falling star only serves as a symbol to every wish that god had so violently robbed from his people. He seemed to have a habit of hating something the harbored great love for. A lot of times the complexity of his emotions just came out as anger.

Despite his loving disdain for the stars, he enjoyed himself none the less. After all, Yin was there to keep him company, and her presence reminded him that she was one thing the stars had given him.

He told her about the new doll that had been assigned to them while she was gone, and how she seemed to hate everything about their team. He even traced the patterns of the old constellations on her hand and he told her stories about them. She in turn told him about the stories shared with her at Alucricity. He was surprised that they would take the time to share stories as if in a friendly setting. And to a doll no less! Maybe that's why she came back looking better every time they met up. Maybe she was safer than he'd thought.

The two quickly forgot about the reason they were meant to be meeting up in the first place seeing as no substantial information had been shared and neither of them cared to bring it up.

* * *

By the time Yin returned to Alucricity it was nearly sunrise. Though worried, Hei was a bit more relaxed about her returning so late. Her voice had been so reassuring and calming that the concern crawled back into the dark hiding spot within Hei, ready to surprise him whenever a new opportunity presented itself. Yin snuck back into her room and pretended to sleep until a tired eyed Shira came into her room. She sat at the end of her bed and Yin pretended to wake up.

"Morning," Yin greeted.

"A good morning to you too Yin," Shira smiled. "Did you have a good time with your friend?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Did you have fun with your friend last night?" Shira asked, her face alit with the same mature innocence she always wore when they were sharing a moment together. Yin wondered if it was lie to her. She couldn't be sure of how much Shira knew. Or whether she trusted herself enough to lie to the person who was gaining so much meaning in her life.

"What?" Came her great reply.

"The guy you snuck off to see. You should really invite him to meet the rest of the family," Shira continued. "He's from the Syndicate is he not?"

Yin stared down at her lap with wide eyes. She felt like she'd break if she met Shira's gaze. How could she know so much?

"It's natural of course. What with you being from the Syndicate, it's not unlikely that you'll make some friends there you still wanna keep."

Yin began to tremble slightly at the realization of Shira's extreme awareness. She gripped the sheets beneath her tightly, wondering what she could've done to give so much of herself away. Just what else did she know? She thought back to most of the interactions she had with Shira, and began to notice a few things.

"Like I said, you should convince him to stay with us for a little bit."

"Back when we were talking before, about choices..." Yin turned to her, daring to look her in the eye. "You put your finger on my lips, why'd you do that? How did you to do that?"

"We've been waiting for you Kirisi." Shira's eyes held something new within them, and though Yin couldn't see, she still felt a shift about her. There was a sort of desire emitting from her now. Yin quickly stood up, disturbing the sheets and knocking the pillow to the floor.

"I don't- I don't understand!" An odd feeling sprouted in her stomach. It stabbed at her, making her want to shrink inside herself. It started to spread around her body.

"Asta was a valued member, and a personal friend of mine." Shira's tone took on that of a reminiscent one. "We were all sad to see her leave," For a moment a sounded a bit resentful, but to Yin, it was impossible for the ever loving Shira to express such an emotion. The bitter tinge fell on deaf ears.

"You knew my mother?" Yin asked, as if she were a small child being told a seemingly boring story that just got interesting.

"Yes. She was very soft spoken and openly kind hearted. You're very much like her in that way, though you did gain some of your father's spunk." Shira laughed.

"You knew my father too?"

"Um...not very well. We met a few times, but the two ran off together so suddenly..."

"Then how do you... how do you know I'm their daughter?"

"Everyone knows!"

"They do?!" Yin jolted slightly. They'd been just one step ahead of her all along. But she was sure they didn't know she was still with the Syndicate and was dispersing information to them.

"Of course they do! Father takes care of all his children, even if they try to leave him, his love will always reach us." Shira then entered a bit of a daze. "Always..."

"Erm, father?" Yin questioned. She'd almost forgotten the odd titles the Alucricity members gave each other.

"Yes, Father. He is the foundation of this great family of ours. He started this all..."

Yin realized that this could be exactly what she was looking for. All she had to do was say she wanted to meet him, or ask more about him and Shira would spill. If she or anyone else really, thought Yin was showing interest in becoming a member, they'd encourage it to the fullest extent. If Yin could get some info on where the main headquarters was, or anything on their leader 'Father' then that could very well be her ticket out of here.

She'd been so reluctant to come in the first place. She feared for her life, assuming them to more ruthless than the Syndicate. But they turned out to be far more accepting and loving than the Syndicate could've ever been. They welcomed her, despite the fact that she'd never fully joined. Exploiting Father could be a big deal for her, but it was an even bigger deal for them. These people have lives, jobs, and families within the community. They were giving dolls and contractors a chance at a peaceful life. Who was she to take that away?

* * *

As time passed, everyone in the clan grew to know of Yin's affiliation with Hei. Though it made Yin a bit uncomfortable, it made it easier for her to see him. Which they begun doing more often as of late. He'd leave notes in her hand just before departing, telling her when and where to meet him. Sometimes it was a week later, and other times he could only wait but a few days until he wanted to see her again. She knew just how dangerous this was, even with Alucricity's support. The Syndicate would have none of it. They had their orders, and if they didn't carry them out as told then they wouldn't live to tell the tale. But the dangerous flutter of her heart compelled her to accept every time.

But recently, Shira had been taking on a more pessimistic view of her relationship with Hei.

"...Can you really trust someone who still works for the Syndicate?" She'd commented once. Yin would've objected, but she was living proof that you couldn't.

"He's nice to me," Yin told her, already feeling guilty despite not having said anything yet.

"That's probably true, but the people there...it's like their brainwashed. They really live like they don't have feelings! That organization makes people into zombies..." Shira looked off into a distance that Yin wouldn't be able to see even if her eyes did work.

Yin knew Hei wasn't entirely like other contractors. Somehow, through all the madness they'd become friends, and she could tell that he really did care for her feelings. While he was encouraging her emotional development, he'd unintentionally shown some of his own. Though he was emotionless most the time when they were together, she could tell he was struggling too.

"I don't mean to come off as crude but, what if he's using you for something?" Yin often remained silent when Shira questioned Hei's motives, because she had no argument to make against it. Who's to say she was wrong?

Things only got worse once Tanai found that her swordsmanship was no more than subpar. They tried to get her acclimated to a wide range of weapons. She tried cleavers, archery, wielding a mace ball, and even an axe, which provided an improvement but not a great one. Yin felt utterly useless. It seemed every situation was tailored for hopelessness when it came to her.

Eventually, people began to blame Hei for her shortcomings.

"You're spending too much time with him," They'd say. "He's a bad influence on you, no one wants a fighting doll,"

She knew better than to listen to them. They didn't know the full story, if they did things would be different. Still, she couldn't help but let their words sink into the back of her mind.

There were days when the only person Yin felt she could freely talk to was Rinkai, the boy who'd been the subject of the bonfire party all those nights ago. He was completely neutral throughout it all, and Yin was grateful that he wasn't prone to bringing Hei up in unrelated situations.

She felt they could relate to each other in different way than the others did. While the others had already found paradise here, they were still trying to figure things out. They were finally beginning to see that they had a place in this world, and it wasn't beneath humans and contractors. But they still had their doubts, they still needed support. Eventually the awkward silence they once shared grew a bit warmer. It was similar to the air Yin shared with Hei, but with less intensity.

"I'm leaving for Headquarters tomorrow." He told her out of the blue.

"You are?" Yin wondered if he was staying there.

"Yes, it's apart of the recruitment process. I decided to do it."

"Are you sure?" Yin was a bit surprised. Rinkai wasn't too big on groups. Especially considering how large this one was, and they hadn't even met everyone yet! Aside from her, he didn't necessarily interact with anyone else. Still, she was sure the air of this place alone would be enough to bring life to any loner.

"Yeah." Rinkai confused her own confusion with concern and placed his hand on hers. "It's okay, I'll be back."

Yin couldn't see through his gesture and wrote it off as a friendly motion. "I'll be waiting,"

"Promise?" He squeezed her hand, if only a little.

"Um, yes?" Yin wondered what he was thinking of.

"I hope you join too."


	12. Chapter 12

Yin flourished her weapon, spinning and twirling it around her. She switched hands several times as the blade cut the air. She abruptly stopped the weapon with nothing but the force of her now strong hands. She pointed it menacingly before her. Such a display alone should be enough to make any enemy second guess the idea of fighting her.

"Your form is excellent Yin." Tanai commended. Yin swelled with pride.

What she thought was a permanent roadblock was nothing but a momentary stump she'd stumbled across along the way. When she found that she couldn't resonate with one weapon after another the situation began to feel more and more hopeless. Though she continued her basic training, she still felt like she'd never be on par with the rest of her peers.

So one night, in a fit of desperation she snuck into the training room. In front of the large room was a life sized statue. It was modeled after a great warrior who served Father until his death, which many of his children did. But what separated him from all the rest was was the weapon he used. He was the only known wielder of a double sided scythe. No one else could master such a complex tool. He'd even written a manual on how to carry out certain moves, but it was still far too uncontrollable and dangerous for anyone to give it an honest try.

But Yin didn't consider the danger when she stepped to the statue that held the age old weapon. The sculpting was weak with age, and the knuckles of the fist that closed around the scythe were easily broken. Yin opened up the old manual and leaned it up against the feet of the statue. She then picked up the heavy weapon, surprised at how well kept it'd been throughout the years. They must've taken better care of the weapon than the object it was attached to. She struggled to lift it above her head, she kept a close eye on the blade nearest to her body.

She swiped down and the weight of the weapon made the movement more harsh and forced the frontal blade through the ground. Yin pulled it up from the now splintered ground. She held it more firmly, focusing her muscles in order to withstand the weight of the object. She began to slash at the air around her. Following the manual, she started to spin and turn the weapon, twisting it around her. Her movements went from simple to complex. Though she still wavered in and out of control.

It wasn't long until Tanai heard the noise and stumbled upon the scene. She was shocked to say the least. Of course she had faith that Yin would find the right weapon, but she hadn't expected that she'd be able to keep up with a double sided scythe so easily. She watched in bewildered silence as Yin spun and thrust the weapon at her own will. She wondered if this was some sort of trick, but her own eyes validated situation and there was no greater proof.

"Looks like you've found your weapon," Tanai commented from the doorway. The sound of her voice startled Yin out of the fragile steadiness she'd maintained and the scythe slipped from her hands mid-swing. The thing whirled through the air and ripped through the ground once it came in contact with the floor. It tore up the hardwood floors, and spun into a wall. Yin's shoulders curled as she was watched the damage occur.

"Maybe we should get you started on a regular scythe first." Tanai laughed. Her broad shoulders shook as her horse laugh rang through the empty room.

Since then, Yin had started training with a weapon of her own. Her body adjusted to the feel of the scythe and the weapon began to flow naturally with her movements. It was light in her hands, and the controlled, lethal slices she performed reminded her of the elegance that had once been apart of the quiet life she once led with her mother and father.

Whenever Yin wielded her scythe, she felt the type of power and control that would never be afforded to a doll. Had the Syndicate known she was training like this, they would've pulled her from the mission as soon as possible. But when she sliced through her obstacles with growing ease, she didn't feel the need to confess. She didn't feel scared. The fear that had once turned her mind into numbness had melted away. Though she was still within their reach, that much was only true whenever she went back to them. They couldn't reach her here. Not with so many people on her side. It was time to stop wavering. It was time to make a choice. And thanks to Alucricity, she finally had one.

* * *

Hei tried to take in what he was assigned to do, but he simply couldn't focus at the moment. Thoughts of Yin kept pushing back to the front of his mind. She seemed so distant lately. She was normal for the most part, despite her great variation from the standard traits of an average doll. She didn't really appear to be holding anything back when they spoke, but she could still be hiding something. He could tell she took extra care of guarding her feelings after he'd gotten her into this whole Alucricity project. But the guilt filled glances she'd give him from time to time told him that something else was bothering her.

He already knew that the members of Alucricity didn't approve of them spending time together, but who did? Of course this could still bother her none the less, and he didn't want to make the same mistake of undermining her feelings again. Still, something told him this ran deeper than that.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed a figure coming towards the park they'd gathered in. Huang opened his mouth, ready to tell them to disperse but quickly shut it once he realized who was before them.

"Yin!" Hei stood. He nearly moved to hug her, but then he remembered that the rest of the team was present and tried not to arouse any suspicion.

"Yin! What in the hell are you doing here?!" Huang's harsh voice cut the air. "You have a mission to be doing!"

Yin was unperturbed by Huang's cruelty, though it had increased considerably since she'd left. She however, had an extremely calm air about her. Her energy alone seemed to be enough to invalidate Huang's argument, even if he had been right.

Hei ignored Huang's rude remarks and asked her, "Is it okay for you to be here right now? Do the others know?"

"That's not important." Yin raised in hand in polite dismissal. "I'm here for myself alone."

Hei had never heard her sound so sure about anything before. Each word was final, even if she wasn't making a statement about anything yet. It was unlike a doll to be so confident.

"I'm here to tell you all that I'm leaving."

"Damn right you are! You have work to do!" Huang berated her, completely missing the true meaning behind her words.

"No, I'm not going to work for the Syndicate any longer."

The entire team was taken aback by this risky act of free will. Though Hei had known she was capable of making her own decisions as long as the option was available -which it normally wasn't- he didn't think she'd do something this crazy.

"Yin," Hei stepped closer to her, his hands raising in caution. "You can't be serious." He had no real reason, but he couldn't let her take a risk like this. He'd had his doubts about the Syndicate as well, especially during the late nights they spent together. She'd tell him all about the things her mentor Shira told her about organizations like theirs, and he found himself agreeing more and more each night. But that didn't mean it was in any way safe to cross them. Nor did it mean that Hei felt she was safer in the hands of Alucricity.

Even though Huang had seen with his own eyes that she had feelings and came to the conclusion that she could probably make choices herself, he would never dream that she'd do something like this. Ever since he'd gained his vengeance against Shihoko, he had to force himself to believe that all contractors and dolls were emotionless drones bent on killing all those around them. He let himself believe that their kind deserved to be ordered around, that if the weren't, they'd go on a rampage. If anything, he was doing them a favor. This would give them some semblance of humanity. So naturally, he couldn't accept the fact that Yin had taken it upon herself to go waltzing around, doing whatever she pleased.

"Yin, have you lost your damn mind? You have your orders!" Huang tried to sound detached and authoritative, but he couldn't mimic the steadiness that she portrayed the moment she presented herself.

"I'm tired of living this way. I want to make my own choices, and when I'm at Alucricity, I can." Yin seemed to glow brighter as she spoke. She was so certain of her words, and the group immediately knew she was willing and ready to take the risk. To see this coming from a doll was a feat on its own, and Hei was of the first to begin having trouble denying her.

"Do you...do you really feel this way?" Hei asked, sacrificing the strength of his argument to waver. Yin simply nodded.

"Hei, what the hell!" Huang turned his head sharply, incredulous at the fact that he was so easily persuaded all the sudden.

"I feel more at home at Alucricity than I do here. I'm tired of fighting for my life in an organization that I now know should be protecting me." Yin confessed, ignoring Huang altogether.

"I don't know, the Syndicate definitely won't let you live if you abandon them, especially not with the kind information you have."

"Hei's right Yin, this is a bad idea." Mao spoke at last. "They might not even kill you, considering how you've been acting lately, they might opt to do something else."

Hei considered this as well. Yin had become a very emotional doll. She was an anomaly amongst the doll-contractor society. Even if desertion warranted an immediate assassination, the Syndicate might decide to just capture her instead. Though he should've been happier at the thought of the possibility, he found it to be much worse than her enviable death. They'd run all kinds of experiments on her. They'd torture her without remorse, and no one would come to her defense because she was, well... a doll. Not even he could help her then.

"Yin, I don't...I don't want you to get hurt..." The others began to notice that Hei was a bit more passionate about this than they were. Not to say that they didn't care about her as well, but Hei's emotions seemed to be stirred in a different direction.

"Staying here isn't going to stop me from getting hurt." Yin stepped closer to him. She placed her hand on his cheek and turned his face so that he could look into her eyes. He couldn't deny the steadiness in her eyes, and it was the strong pull she maintained that prevented him from breaking contact. Though she couldn't see, he felt as though she were looking at him on her own, as if she was so in control that she had overcome her disability. There was something reassuring about the sureness she expressed, and he was left to wonder if he had even a tenth of the confidence she had.

"You can't do this Yin! The Syndicate will kill us if they find out you stopped here before leaving and we just let you go!"

"Goodbye Huang," Yin walked over to the new doll sitting on the swings. As Yin grew nearer the girls angry grimace grew less intense, and once Yin was upon her, the girl even appeared to look up at her in awe. She hadn't cared for Yin before, considering her to be just another mindless doll, but seeing her now... she looked her own person. She was so confident and determined. The air around her was soft and inviting, the doll hadn't felt anything like it in such a long time due to her anger easily repelling people. But Yin had entered her space with minimal effort and looked down at her with those soft, warm eyes, making a connection with her without words.

"Please take good care of Hei," Yin asked. The doll could simply nod her head yes, unable to speak. The rest of the group was surprised that she didn't respond with her usual bitter silence, or subliminal insult. But unknown to them, in that moment she wished she could be just a bit more like Yin. She wished she could make a decision for herself and make it final on her own. That she could get up and leave on her own.

Yin then turned to Mao, reaching down to scratch him behind his ear. He gave a great long purr. "I'm gonna miss you Mao,"

"If anyone asks, I'm just a cat." He joked.

"Just don't get too distracted with your 'cat-stuff'."

"Don't you start with that too," Mao shot a glare at Hei, which he didn't seem to notice.

Yin approached Hei once again. "I believe this belongs to you," Yin pulled the combat knife he'd given her when she first departed to Alucricity. The moment she extended her hands toward him so he could take it, he knew this was final. She was really going. His expression mimicked that of horror. What would he do without her on his team? How would he survive without the constant that gave balance to the spiral of chaos that consumed his life? He was barely managing without her now!

He nodded his head harshly, as if it were the tail of an excited dog. "No, you still need it. You can give it back when you return." No, she didn't have to leave, they could figure something else out. He could protect her. Even if it meant disobeying orders.

"Don't do this to yourself Hei." Yin grabbed him by the wrist and he struggled to pull away from her. When did she get so strong?

"No...Yin...I don't want it!" She placed the knife in his open palm and closed his fingers around it for him.

"I can't keep this anymore. I have to fight my own battles now." Yin squeezed the hand that reluctantly held the knife she returned. "I don't need to protect myself from them, so I don't need you try and do it for me."

Hei was surprised at how easily she saw through him. He could've given her anything; a kitchen knife, a wrench, a hammer, Hell, he could've given her nothing and told her to get creative! But he'd chosen the beloved safety knife he kept with him during his time in South America. He was just a boy then, still trying to convince himself that the people he killed deserved it. He put a brave face on in front of his sister and Amber, but it was all just smoke and mirrors. He was still human, he still cried himself to sleep when he was sure Amber and his sister were fast asleep. The hardest training he had to withstand was teaching the tears not to rack his body, and to flow silently.

That silly knife was one of the very few things he clung to for security. It had quelled some of the fears he harbored about he or Bai getting attacked in their sleep. Though the fact of the matter was that the only thing standing between him and death were his own skills and the gravity of the situation. Even while knowing this crucial piece of information, he was convinced that the knife alone kept him safe. In a way, that knife had become apart of him. After all those years, it began to serve as a symbol of the safety he was fighting to protect. For himself, for Bai... for Yin.

He wanted her to have a piece of him with her. Because he knew what it felt like to be in a strange land where you're the only familiar sight. And even if she didn't see it as a piece of him, it would at least be something useful. He'd disguised it as a form of apology for telling Huang, and in effect the Syndicate about her secret, which it had been in a way. But he really only wanted her to be safe. He'd bring it up at completely inappropriate times whenever they met up. He made it seem like he was just fretting over a childhood trinket, but it was his way of asking her how she was and if she felt okay.

But now she was giving it back to him. She didn't _need_ it. She was really leaving. There was nothing he could do or say about it. Had this happened at an earlier point in their relationship he would've simply ordered her to stay. Or watched her go without a care. He would've been able to convince himself that she was just a doll, but now...now that was impossible. He could already tell from the way he frequently thought of her and constantly met up with her despite the danger, that this wasn't going to be easy.

Still, he couldn't rob her of her choice. If anything, it had created the radiant woman that stood before him now. How could he ever tell her no? She seemed so strong and well built. Her confidence had built a wall of resistance around her, yet at the same time she still remained open to the world. Despite Hei's cold exterior and seemingly strong demeanor, he didn't have that. He didn't have half the confidence to inspire something like this in her. Alucricity did that. They gave her a choice. A community. A family to come home to. He couldn't give her as much, but could give a choice as well. Ever since he began to accept that she was more than a doll he promised himself that he would always let her decide things for herself. Seeing the way she reacted to him letting her choose to stay with the Syndicate or Kastinen, it was clear that it meant a lot to her.

Hei clenched the knife in his hand tightly for moment before tucking it away with a sigh. He hung his head in submission. Yin leaned up and kissed his cheek. Then in that instant, she smiled. It was the softest and sweetest smile Hei had ever seen. Her eyes were so warm, and they gave off this odd light he'd never seen before. He'd never seen a doll smile before, so he was thoroughly surprised.

"Goodbye Hei." He watched as she turned and walked away.

She got about ten feet away from the group before Hei ran up behind her. He quickly grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. He grasped both her shoulders, his hand occasionally running up and down her arms. He searched her eyes and looked around her face, his expression panicked. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly. He didn't really have anything to say, nothing that would have any real meaning.

"Hei?" Yin asked, a bit worried.

Hei suddenly wrapped his arms around her. He tucked his face into the space between her shoulder and neck. His uneasiness only bled through more as he squeezed tighter. He knew that smile was supposed to be reassuring, but all he think about was how he would never get to see it again.

"I have to go Hei, I'm sorry." Yin raised an arm to gently stroke his back.

"I know," He nearly croaked. "I know but... we can still see each other can't we? Like we always do?"

Yin smiled again and Hei could feel the beauty of it without seeing it. "I think I can live with that."

Hei's heart lifted with relief, and he held her tighter. "Good." He nearly planted a kiss on her neck, but refrained from doing so considering the rest of the group was still there. Upon the realization he thought it appropriate to pull away from her.

"Goodbye Yin," Hei's hand slid down her arm and he held her hand loosely until she was too far away.

* * *

"I'm ready," Yin declared as she entered the kitchen.

"Ready for what dear?" Shira turned her head slightly, her eyes soft and kind. The sun burst behind her and shone through the loose strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.

"I want to join."


	13. Chapter 13

A wide gleeful smile spread across Shira's face and tears gathered in her eyes. "R-Really? You're sure?"

Yin nodded and smiled proudly up at the motherly woman before her. "The Syndicate can't hold me back anymore."

Tears rushed down Shira's cheeks as she enveloped Yin in a great, warm hug. Yin squeezed her back tightly, fighting off the happy tears that had clouded her eyes as well. The act of pleasing her alone was enough to make Yin happy. She never would've guessed that someone she met in this seemingly ruthless organization would become such a big part of her life.

Though everyone had accepted her into their community, Shira took it upon herself to become a sort of mentor to Yin. A responsibility that she could've left up to anybody and saved herself the trouble if she wanted. But Shira had become the guiding hand that lead Yin to the right path. She gave Yin the space and freedom to express herself, even if Yin was sure that she was undeserving. It was Shira's soft and secure voice that had convinced Yin that she still had the right to her choices. Step by step, she'd helped her regain a large portion of her humanity. Of course she wasn't alone in this, all of Alucricity, they had done it together.

Shira pulled away from her, holding her at an arm's length. "We'll start arranging the recruitment ceremony right away!"

"Ah-! I actually wanted to wait until Rinkai gets back before we have the celebration." Yin explained, knowing her friend would be happy to know that she was finally joining as he'd pleaded her to.

"Oh? Rinkai, huh. Who woulda guessed..." Yin looked up at her in confusion. "...Oh well! Don't worry Yin, we'll wait for his return, then you'll be an official member of the family!"

* * *

Days soon passed, and Rinkai returned with the small group of men and women who left with him. He wore a white cloak that fell over his shoulders and parted at his biceps. Cloth pooled at his neck causing him to hold his chin a bit higher. A black shanked button over his left shoulder kept the cloak connected, while his right bore a double layered shoulder pad decorated with a golden wing. Beneath his cloak was a white robe with a red trim. A red V shape decorated his chest and another red trimming wrapped around his waist. His baggy sleeves came to attention once they reached his wrists, which clung to his form properly. A stray cloth flowed between his legs and reached just above his ankles. His white boots which held his baggy pants had a golden trim at the top.

His eyes held a new brightness to them and he bled pride with every step he took. The shaky smile he once wore was replaced by the steady and confident one he now displayed. It was clear that he was proud to be apart of something bigger than him. Something that had practically saved him, and could save many others. He was a man now.

Yin noticed the diamond stud that was embedded in his cheek. It created a soft dimple in his left cheek that Yin secretly thought added greatly to his charm.

Upon seeing her Rinkai ran in her direction. Sensing what he wanted, she opened her arms for a hug. The hug seemed bit more than a friendly greeting to him. He seemed to soak her in as he held her, as if he needed just a bit more of her. Yin simply figured that he missed her bit more than she did him. She felt as if he was being more of a faithful friend, missing her as much he did, so she tried to make up for it by letting him hug her as long as he wanted.

"You look good, what happened?" She joked. She pulled away from him slightly her hand coming to rest upon his left cheek. She gently fingered his diamond decorated dimple and his smile widened.

"Do you like it?" He placed his hand on hers. "Everyone gets some kind of piercing once they join."

"Really? Which one do you think I should get?" Yin smiled.

"No way really?!" Rinkai exclaimed in surprise. She'd been lingering for so long that he'd begun to lose hope in her ever joining. "You're really gonna do it?"

Yin nodded. "I figured it couldn't hurt. Besides, what would you do without me?" Yin joked, unaware of the fact that Rinkai didn't really know.

Rinkai removed his hands from around Yin's waist at the sound of his mentor, Tari's voice. "How bout we make this recruitment ceremony and the welcome back party into one big celebration!"

* * *

Mao sat perched upon Hei's window sill. He brought a paw up to his mouth and gave it a quick lick. "So?"

"So...what?" Hei asked, already annoyed by Mao's presence.

"What the hell was that?"

"What was what? Don't show up here just so you can talk out context."

"Oh come on! What was with that huge scene between you and Yin!?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. She was leaving, everyone was upset. Even that doll's lighten up since then."

"Don't act like you weren't torn up the most! First she gives you some knife, and you start freaking out,"

Hei turned away from him.

"Then she starts leaving and you chase her down! -And all the whispering, the hell was that about?!"

"We were just saying goodbye-"

"Since when do dolls hug and kiss people goodbye?" A pink hue gathered in Hei's cheeks, though he wouldn't acknowledge if his life depended on it.

"She seemed like an entirely different person," Mao spoke to himself. "I think you've changed too."

"I just-...I just miss her, okay? There's nothing wrong with that."

"But why? Why would you- a contractor, miss a doll? What difference does it make to you?"

"I-" Hei scrambled to think of something, anything other than the rushing feelings that he fought to keep contained. "...She was easy to work with, you know how unbearable that new doll is..."

"Oh come on Hei, you're normally such a good liar." Mao ridiculed. "Why don't you try again?"

"What're you getting out of this?"

"Come to think of it, You've been pretty much awol since this mission started. You wouldn't happen to be-?"

"No." Hei cut him off curtly.

"So you _have_ been seeing her..."

"I _haven't_." Hei insisted aggressively.

"You know, it's okay to have feelings. She does, I do...you don't have to fight yours."

Hei shot a fiery glare as a knee jerk response, but it was only met with the retreating figure of the cat's body as he jumped down from the window sill.

Despite everything he'd been through with Yin, he still insisted that he didn't have feelings. He feared that if he did, he might have to face the brewing emotions he held for her. He couldn't deal with pressure of all that along with the burden of her sudden departure. He never imagined that he'd miss her this much, it almost felt unnatural. The fact that he had been waiting a bit eagerly for her return only made things harder to accept.

He'd hoped he at least appeared to be holding up well outwardly, but apparently not. It had only been a few days but Hei hadn't heard from her in while, he wondered when they'd be able to meet up again. Of course his mind did drift into dangerous territory from time to time. Sometimes he wondered if Alucricity had really accepted her at all. Maybe they'd seen through her whole undercover act and just wanted to wait until the Syndicate backing her so they could carry out whatever devious plan they had in mind. But somehow he always managed to convince himself that everything was fine and she was safe.

He thought about joining her, them running away together. But such a thing was impossible, right? In truth, he was afraid of being accepted there. Of being enlightened, finding his way back to the humanity he'd lost. For if it was all Yin had said, then his humanity would've been with him all along. How could he live with himself if that was true? Ever since he gained his sister's star, he hid behind the myth of contractors being emotionless. It was one of the very few reasons why he could cope with all the ruthless murders he committed day after day. The other being his motivation to find his sister of course.

Ever since he became a contractor he convinced himself that he was emotionless with ease. Though he didn't have a price as other contractors did, and it was be reasonable to assume that an anomaly such as himself would harbor traits closer to human, he let himself believe there was no difference between him and his peers. Living like a soulless creature was much easier on him than when he had to live with his humanity and suffer without the buffer that stood between him and the killer. Even back then he often allowed himself to give into delusions. But like this, he didn't have to pretend. He was a contractor, that was his only excuse and it was the only one he needed. With his emotions demolished, he had no reason to face the killer inside. It had already enveloped his entire life. Of course he didn't get this way on his own. The Syndicate had fed him this fate. And in his state of mind, he had to eat it, or starve. He had no foundation other than the disguised slavery the Syndicate had taught him.

But if his emotions were with him the entire time, then how would he live with himself? With what he's done, what he's still doing? If he really did have emotions then that would mean the killer was not only intimately wrapped around his life, but had now become one with him as well. This would mean that despite all the morals, empathy, and humanity he struggled to hold onto throughout his childhood had been sacrificed to the black reaper. He couldn't accept that, he couldn't _be_ accepted. Even with Yin in all her radiant light, he still had trouble dealing with the feelings she evoked in him. Though with her, she'd somehow made it easier to accept the emotions that had always been apart of him.

Hei wondered what she was doing at the moment. He wondered if she was missing him just as much as he did her.


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as night fell and all the preparations for the celebration had been finished, the magic of the last bonfire party had returned. The decorations reappeared with a new variation. The lanterns were new and bore new designs. The carvings along the support poles that held up the renewed figurines had also been changed. Everything seemed to be altered to suit the new occasion.

Yin wore a strapless dress that bore a small variety of colors. The top half of the bust was decorated with a red trim while the soft near golden yellow spread down the rest of her torso. A pink lotus flower came to rest on the center of her waist. Past that, her dress split slightly at her hips. The dress draped over her long legs, the bubble gum pink trimming running down the sides. The center layered beneath the pink held a shade of fuchsia that melded well with the color beside it.

Her sleeves were solitary and the part covering her biceps matched the pink layered over the fuchsia, while the section coating her forearm had faded into yellow. Four golden rings were attached to the top of Yin's dress and supported a thin golden shawl that hung over her shoulders and sailed down to her ankles. A french braid stretched from the sides of her head to the back, the two ends coming together in the middle, leaving some hair to flow freely. The rest of her hair hung down a little past her waist without restraint. Her hair had gained a slight curl due to all the braiding it had been put through since her arrival to Alucricity.

Unlike Rinkai when he first joined, Yin bore no recruitment markings. Shira told her that those born into the family held their symbol inside, and overdressing on such a sacred occasion brought bad omens. Yin swelled with joy at the sentiment. Even though her mother left them, they still considered Yin a part of the family. To them it was as if they'd shared the same blood. Yin knew for sure that no matter what happens, they'd always accept her. She was no longer a doll. She was no longer replaceable. She was loved, she was needed for reasons other than her out of body eyes.

As the women were just putting their finishing touches on Yin, Shira politely shooed them away for a moment alone with Yin. She presented her with a pearlised chain to drape around her head. Yin was flattered, but insisted it was too fancy and that she already felt a bit overdressed as it is.

"I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am," Shira told her, biting back her tears. "I knew from the moment you arrived that I wanted you to stay here with me,"

"Shira..." Yin reached up to touch her cheeks, wanting to see her in a way she was familiar with.

"I know it must not seem like it, but I'd always get so terrified whenever you went off to see your friend in secret," Shira's cheeks reddened with emotion. Her tears flooded her vision. "It made me wonder when you were going to leave for good.

"I'm not leaving," Yin wrapped her arms around Shira's waist, squeezing her tightly. "I'd never leave."

"I know," Shira wiped the fleeing tears. "Even if you did, just know that I _-w_ _e_ will always be here for you. You can come to us no matter what."

Yin nodded her head and Shira sat her back down.

"Now, I know the crown is a bit much, but please, at least let me put this on you." Shira held up a small round container the size of her palm. Some sort of reddish liquid with a thick consistency pooled inside. "When I first joined, I was so nervous."

Yin looked up at her.

"I was an absolute pain to prepare, I kept changing my mind on everything." Shira gained that faraway look she always wore whenever she was recalling something from her childhood. "To calm me, my mentor taught me how to make this homemade lipstick. I pretty girly at the time, so just the thought of spicing things up with a little makeup put me at ease."

Yin smiled a bit sadly to herself. She wished she had more girly moments with her mother. Just a little extra time to put on over the top outfits and down herself in clownish makeup. Though that was more of her mother's style, she doubted would endure such antics for very long with her stubborn attitude. She was more concerned with being an adult at the time, and for Yin dressing up had nothing to do with that. Perhaps if she'd spent more time embracing her childhood, then this gaping hole within her wouldn't have been so large.

Shira read her smile with perfect accuracy. "...But it was making it with her that made it special. She distracted me from my insecurities until I finally realized that I had nothing to be insecure about. I've made this new batch just for you,"

Shira scooped some of it onto her finger. She spread the substance across Yin lips, it's red color glimmering in the light. Since she usually left her lips bare, they really popped with the extra detail.

Yin thanked her graciously and she and Shira returned to the women so they could all present her together.

Yin's usually pale cheeks were warm with delight as she stepped out to see how all the wonder had come together in such little time. Rinkai too, was astonished at the borderline magic that always occurred whenever Alucricity had a celebration. However, he was easily distracted by the glory and grace of Yin.

He watched closely as the small group of women who had prepared her led her out to the grand field, of which the bonfire had been centered. The dress suited her perfectly. It was soft and tranquil, but also held a powerful pop that blended perfectly with the tenderness she embodied. He could already feel the softness of her hair, even with this now unbearable distance between them. The soft smile playing on her lips only enticed him further, as he took a few steps toward her. He watched her feel the air around her, astonished that she could already tell how incredible everything was without her spectre. Wit the way her eyes shone before him, he wondered if she was truly blind at all. He was left to question whether or not she was glowing brighter than the bonfire at that moment.

She felt his eyes on her and he promptly looked away, despite him desperately wanting her to notice him. But she'd already 'seen' him, regardless of her blindness. She approached him, considering how light she felt it was safe to say she practically glided over to him. Somehow he'd managed to keep his cool.

"Are you excited? This is all for you," He ran his hands down her arms, his fingers lightly stroking her palms as if asking to hold her.

She put a finger to his lips. He recoiled slightly, unexpecting. "For us...We're welcoming you home too." She held one of his hands with her free one. Without thinking, Yin moved to touch the dimple on his cheek. Her fingers cupped his jaw as her thumb stroked his piercing. His breath hitched and his face reddened as well. With the way her finger brush across his lips as she transitioned to touch his cheek... it was as if she were teasing him on purpose.

"Sorry," Yin pulled away, noticing that he was getting uncomfortable. "It's really nice is all..."

"It's okay, I like it too..." He replied dumbly. _'Of course I like it! Why would I have gotten it if I didn't?!'_ Rinkai berated himself in his mind.

"You're an odd one, you know?" She laughed. He thought the sound could've been the very embodiment of beauty itself.

"Why do you think we make such a great team?" He joked, masking how flustered he truly felt.

Despite Rinkai's developing feelings, he somehow managed to have a great time with Yin without screwing himself over.

Together the two ate, spoke, and laughed throughout the night. She seemed so much brighter than she was night he met her. But he could tell it wasn't just due to all the time she sent at Alucricity. At that moment, in that point in time she held a special light within her. He wondered how she could've collected herself so expertly, when it had taken him so long to even consider the idea. Looking at her now, the girl who couldn't even smile on her own now bore a grin far greater than that of his. He was smitten.

Yin couldn't remember feeling so alive before that night. She relished in the pure energy emitting from all those around her. She felt everything, from the torch dancers, to the weapon bearers, and even those singing and dancing to their own beat. To her they were all one, they were all family. Somehow it was as if they'd all melded together in harmony without any effort of their own. She wondered why she hadn't felt this way during the first bonfire party she'd experienced, but with each passing second it became clear to her. This was all for her. Somehow, a celebration this grand gained even more meaning when it was devoted to you. The passion surrounding her became so blatant that she had no choice but to be filled with gratitude for it. The atmosphere was so friendly and loving that it could make the most unfeeling of dolls crack a smile.

Rinkai was no stranger to this feeling either. If he'd felt it before at his own bonfire than he was definitely feeling it now. Of course he was still struggling with his the strength of his humanity then, so he truly enjoy as much as Yin was now. Still, when he saw her sitting there alone, he felt drawn to her. He knew she'd understand him, they were one in the same. But this celebration held much more meaning to him now. He couldn't forget what she said to him earlier that night. The way she proclaimed that the celebration was for the both of them, it made him feel as though they were connected on some higher level. He felt that sharing something as special as this safe haven, this community, this bloodless family, had bound them. In his mind, her words held more weight than she'd actually intended.

Holding the memory of her affectionate touches and statements, he turned to her. "Yin,"

"Yeah?" She answered.

His heart began to pound and he wandered for a moment. "I-" He took a deep breath. "Dance with me."

Yin was surprised at the gesture. "Dance? Oh- I don't really dance..."

But Rinkai wouldn't give up just yet. "Me neither! We can look stupid together!"

Still, Yin remained unsteady. "I don't know..."

He grasped her hands and led her closer to the bonfire. "Oh come on, what kind of musician doesn't dance?"

She did a poor job of suppressing her smile and he took that as a yes.

Suddenly they stood in the center of it all. The bonfire lit up their skin and made their shadows dance in tune with the flickering flames. They stood deathly still, not knowing where to go from there. Rinkai glanced around them and noticed that no one seemed to be acknowledging them. He focused on the steady beat of the drums and the beauty of the numerous voice filling the air with their natural acappella. Looking back at Yin and seeing those large eyes staring back at him, he knew she felt it too.

Without warning, he spun her. She continued turning, even after his encouragement had ceased. Before they knew it, the two were thrust into a heated battle of flashy gestures and vivid movements. Yin's shy nature seemed to have burned to the back of her mind as her legs thrust out before her and her torso rolled in time with the music.

They danced extravagantly, their bodies only connecting at random intervals. Like when he slipped his hand around her waist, feeling that was too far away. Or if he was feeling brave he'd grab at her thigh and perch her leg up against his hip, his other hand dangerously low on her back. He watched her alluring body move in a hypnotizing spell of enticement, he grew even more grateful for each every graze upon her skin that he was able to sneak past her. As the night raged on the passion of their bodies moving in sync made him a bit delirious. At times he'd pulled her hips closer to his, rolling and swaying them to his own beat. She was too lost in her the new life within her that compelled her every move to notice his growing need for her.

As the night burned on the party started to die down. Most people didn't retire to their beds however. Though the might of the bonfire had cooled down, it's massiveness proved that it could burn through the night and even part of the day. Feeling comfortable in the night air, and against the soft grass, the large group had just decided to sleep where they were.

The next morning Yin was surprised to find herself cuddled up closely to Rinkai's chest, her head tucked beneath his arm.

* * *

 **Hey guys! Now I usually don't talk to you because it messes up the word count and I personally don't give a shit about Author's Notes... but if you want to see a picture of Yin in her celebration dress Visit my profile for the link. It might not be up there right away because *Spoilers* I write all my chapters ahead of time. But if it's not there then please leave a comment or PM me about it.**

 **P.S Rinkai's in the picture too so if you want to see him for the first time then there you have it.**

 **Original word count: 2,309**


	15. Chapter 15

The sun beamed down on the field of which majority of the Alucricity group resided. Yin awoke before all else with the pleasantry of waking up naturally. Feeling the grass beneath her, and the soft breeze flying across the palate of her exposed skin, Yin felt completely at ease. Growing a bit more coherent, Yin realized entangled with a force that didn't belong to that of nature. She looked up at Rinkai, with his forever tousled hair and the soft smile at played on his lips, even in sleep. Something that had once been so difficult for him to maintain he'd manage to achieve while sleeping. His dimple broadened a bit, his cheeks were glowing with happiness. Yin wondered if he were dreaming. She thought she'd had dreams of her own but by morning she'd forgotten most of it.

His arms wrapped around her gently, but with just the right of security as well. It was a nice sensation, but something about it felt wrong. Yin felt out of place. Yin unraveled his arms and sat up for a stretch.

After slipping out of Rinkai's grasp, Yin set out to meet up with Hei. Knowing that she probably only had a few days before she'd be called on to stand before father, she decided she wanted to let him know first. She was very aware of how much he worried for her, and considering her sudden departure... it couldn't have boded well on him.

However, despite her best efforts, Rinkai awoke at the feel of her absence. She cringed at her failure.

"Hey," He yawned. "Where are you going?"

For a moment Yin hesitated. Should she lie? The thought crossed her mind if only for a second. But she came back to her senses and found that she had no real reason to. "I'm just meeting a friend, nothing to worry about."

Rinkai frowned that this. He knew exactly who she was going to see. He secretly didn't like how much time she spent with him, but her knew she felt pressured whenever people critiqued Hei in front of her. He didn't see why it was such a big deal though, if it were him he probably could've just brushed it off. But he understood that he must be special to her, and that made him uneasy. Still, he felt it was wrong to judge people he'd never even met before, so he kept his thoughts to himself. Besides, he took solace in the fact that he was a bit of a safe haven from all the subtle 'Hei-haters' out there.

"Okay, cool..." He replied distantly.

Thinking he was worried for her safety Yin reassured him with a, "Don't worry I'll be back soon." -completely misreading the situation.

She promptly changed out of the festive robes she slept in, she was a bit surprised that they were comfortable enough to sleep in. She then set out to find Hei.

* * *

Hei was enjoying one of the very few days he had off from both the Syndicate and his cover job as a waiter. Actually, when he thought about it, he needed that job too, considering the fact that the Syndicate couldn't give two shits about paying their contractors a decent wage. But unfortunately it was interrupted by a knock on his door. He got up almost bitterly to answer to what he suspected to be another order from Huang.

He was surprised to find the exact person he'd been wanting to see. "Yin!"

He didn't hesitate to pull her small frame to him, squeezing her body closer to his. His hand reached up to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. He soaked in feel of her soft skin, and sweet watery scent. Though he'd held her with all his might she merely squeezed him back lightly. But the gesture was far too saccharine for him to resist. He bent down and placed a firm kiss on her neck. She was warm and throbbed with life. Had his lips remained against her any longer he was sure his senses would be electrified, but she made a moan-like gasp that snapped him back into awareness. He pulled away from her, shameful of his sudden brashness. He decided to change the subject.

"What are you doing here?" He smiled down at her in awe.

"I wanted to see you before I have to go again," Yin pressed a hand to his cheek. He frowned.

"You're leaving?" His question came out as more of a statement.

Yin couldn't meet his disappointed eyes. "It's fine, Hei. Don't worry."

"Where are you going? When are you leaving?"

Though Yin had come to answer those very questions, she found that she didn't want to face them just yet. She'd missed Hei. She wanted to cling to him for just a bit longer. "We should go... you'll get in trouble if anyone finds me here,"

The two fled his apartment in secrecy, retreating to the hill they often met at to gaze at the stars together. While there Yin told him all about the amazing experience she had the bonfire party. She described in vivid detail of the magic that had transpired that night. The fact she'd never felt so alive went without saying. Looking at her now, it was as if she'd been reborn. She looked so fulfilled, Hei almost felt bad about wanting her to come back.

Then she went off on a tangent about how she danced for the first time with a boy named Rinkai. As she recalled the events of last night, her eyes lit up with bliss. She talked about how in sync she felt with everyone, and how even bonfire seemed to be dancing inside her. She revealed that Rinkai's touch had somewhat spurred her on.

Yin herself had acknowledged that there must've been some extra meaning to the way Rinkai interacted with her last night. Had she not been so absorbed in her recollection, then she probably would've thought twice about bringing it up to Hei. She wouldn't have told him about how he'd pulled her to him with just the right amount of fierceness. If she'd remained just a bit more coherent then maybe she'd reconsider telling him that every little touch Rinkai tried to sneak past her had only fueled the strength of her movements. But as she shared the moment with Hei, it was as if she was back there once again. With her mind in the past and her mouth on autopilot, there was nothing she could do to censor herself.

At the bonfire it was okay, there was a haze that clouded their minds. With everyone being connected like that, it didn't matter what you did. Rhythmless or not, it didn't matter. You didn't have to be on beat because everything lined up perfectly once you got into the spirit of things. Yin had never felt that way before, so when Rinkai pulled their bodies together she didn't focus on the gesture so much as the link between them. Though in the end she probably would've just convinced herself that Rinkai was free of any romantic intent, and that Hei would have no reason to take offense since they were not romantically involved either.

Hei ignored the agitation growing within him and attempted to be happy for her. He didn't know why he felt so bothered. Something about the way she talked about this _Rinkai_ made him uneasy. Maybe it was the fact that he had no idea who he was or why he and Yin were so close all of the sudden. If Yin felt the need to describe him so thoroughly, then he must mean something to her. He didn't like that they were probably spending so much time together and Hei didn't have so much as a clue as to who this guy could be. He could already see him running his hands all over her... Hei decided there was no low he wouldn't stoop to if it meant gaining and misusing her trust. He convinced himself that it wasn't their intimacy, but merely his concern for her safety that caused the stabbing at his side. It was danger that Rinkai presented that caused the burning irritation that occured whenever Yin cooed his name. It wasn't the image that his mind conjured of their bodies pressed tightly together in the light of the bonfire with an intimacy that Hei thought only only he and Yin shared that made his heart clench in distaste and unease. _No._ It was something else- anything else! There must be a reason for Hei's distrust, he just couldn't prove it yet.

As the more heated portion of Yin's memory began to burn out, Yin realized the content of which she just shared. Her voice started to soften as she found herself growing more reluctant to continue her tale. Gazing at the morose look on Hei's face, she found that she definitely didn't want to tell him where she'd woken up that morning.

"Why are you leaving?" He interrupted suddenly, desperate to change the subject.

"I'm not officially a member until a meet Father and complete whatever task he has in store for me."

Hei raised an eyebrow at this. "Who's father?"

Yin perked up, unprepared for the question. Checking her surroundings, she scooted closer to Hei. She placed her hands firmly on his cheeks, staring up into his eyes with her unseeing ones. "I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone -especially not someone from the Syndicate about this,"

He grabbed one of her hands and squeezed it slightly. "Of course,"

"Father's the one who founded Alucricity, he's the one who's running things..." Yin stared firmly into Hei's eyes, as if the strength of her gaze would prevent anyone else from hearing the information she'd just conveyed. Her apprehensiveness thickened the air. "No one outside of the 'family' is supposed to know about this, so even if you have to tell... you didn't hear it from me."

 _"Yin,"_ He stared at her with the same type of intensity. His words were firm and deep as they always were. "No one is going to find out about this."

Yin looked up at him doubtfully. Hei pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "You don't have to worry about the Syndicate," Hei reassured her. "When we're like this -when we're together I... I don't work for them."

Yin's hands raised tentatively to coil around his back. She was afraid to take his words to heart, but every fiber in her being wanted to believe him. At Alucricity she knew she could trust anyone and everyone around her, even those she didn't know particularly well. But when it came to the Syndicate, that was a different story. The steaks were always so high, there was no telling what people were willing to do if it meant saving their skins. She felt deep in her heart that Hei wasn't one of these people, but she couldn't be sure if she was one his top priorities. She could easily be tossed aside if push came to shove.

He moved in closer, gently pushing her head further past his shoulder. "When are you leaving?"

"I don't know, a couple days maybe."

Hei frowned a bit. "You should've come sooner,"

"I'll make sure to visit as soon as I get back," She promised.

"I'll miss you..." He confessed softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'll miss you too." She spoke after a long pause.

The two sat beside each other peacefully for a long time. Neither wanted to depart, despite knowing it was inevitable. Though eventually, Yin decided it was time she headed back and they parted ways, completely oblivious of the pair of eyes watching them.


	16. Chapter 16

Yin hadn't really meant to snoop. It happened before she'd even realised she was doing something wrong. They were all still cleaning up after the mess left from the celebration. But when Yin noticed that Shira had strayed from the group curiousity grabbed hold of her and she felt compelled to send out her spectre. Yin watched Shira head down into the cellar with a plate of food.

 _'What is she doing?'_ Yin thought to herself. Yin thought back to one of her first few days at Alucricity, back when she was working for the Syndicate. She'd scooped out the area, as she'd been assigned to do, but when she found the cellar she thought she saw running around down there. She'd dismissed it as some sort of animal that had snuck in, but now it appeared there could be an actual _person_ down there.

Yin hoped that Shira was merely keeping secret a pet or something down there. But Yin was too taken by the bizarreness of the situation to simply leave it to chance. As soon as Shira emerged from the cellar Yin went down to investigate.

Yin descended into the cellar, a cup of water in hand and a lantern in the other. The humidity and dampness alone probably would've been enough to send out a spectre. Yin's face curled up in disgust once she was hit with of human waste, neglected hygiene, and probably rotting flesh. Yin stuck the entirety of her thumb into the cup and scanned the room for any living creature.

She shined her lantern all across the room. She didn't notice the small being at first, but around after doing a double take she noticed a small girl creeping deeper into the shadow of darkness within her corner. She shrunk back into the small space, as if repelled by the light. Though fear would have been a valid reaction, the girl seemed merely apprehensive of the foreigner. Her tired eyes were defensive and calculating. Her shoulders bunched together and her arms were raised to her chest. Her fingers were curled but she wasn't quite ready to make a fist just yet.

Yin knew she was being tested, so she approached the girl carefully. Yin crouched down to her level and took slow soft steps closer to the child.

"Hello? Are you okay?" Yin's voice echoed with a softness that rivaled Shira's. At this, the girl was sure that Yin didn't know of her. The only people who ever came to see her spoke with the harshness that most people reserved for the most vile of criminals. Nobody's thought to lower themselves to meet her eyes in a long time. She'd grown so used to the sight of being stood over...

"What are you doing down here?" Yin spoke again. "What's your name?"

"I..." The girl coughed harshly, not used to using her voice. She learned long ago that no one cared about what she had to say. Speaking would only get her into more trouble. "I don't- I don't remember..."

Yin was puzzled, but she couldn't deny that there were days where even she would forget her true name. "That's okay. Sometimes I-"

Yin noticed the plate of half eaten food at the girl's feet. _'Did Shira give this to her when she came down?'_ There was nothing but scraps on that plate. It was probably someone's trash from the celebration! Was this frail little girl expected to _eat_ that? Shira must've exhausted to the point of deliria. Maybe she'd simply wandered down here during their cleaning up session and simply plopped the plate amidst her confusion. Yin knew Shira didn't have a light source with her when she descended, so she doubted Shira could've seen the girl in all this darkness. Yin felt guilty for allowing her to push herself so hard. She vowed to herself that she would pull her own, and even some Shira's weight too if needed it.

Yin grabbed the plate and the girl reached for it desperately. "It's okay, I'll bring you some fresh food."

The girl look up at her in disbelief. Her features were coated in the disapproving confusion that one wore when observing someone make huge mistake for no good reason. But her expression soon softened into that of awe and gratitude. "W-Wa..it," The girl reached out to Yin.

Yin turned to her. "Are you-"

"Don't let anyone see you coming down here..."

Yin nearly disregarded the warning, thinking she was probably just paranoid from the countless nights she probably spent down there. But the way this girl tainted the atmosphere with her fright, it stuck Yin in a place that hit home. Looking into her eyes through her spectre Yin got to see the genuine terror reflected in them. Such a visual was rare to Yin, so she took the girl's words to heart.

"Alright," Yin promised. "I'll be back soon."

Later that day, Yin returned with the food. She brought her a little banquet comprised of fresh bread, fruits, and the most succulent of meats. The little girl seemed bit surprised to see her return, but was grateful nonetheless. Yin considered feeding her, but seeing her ravish the food , Yin was sure she'd be swallowed whole as well.

"So how did you end up down here? Did you run away from home?" Yin asked carefully, growing more aware of the girl somehow defensive and standoffish nature.

The girl stopped eating. She sat so still that it was is if she'd just spontaneously died then and there. "I lost my fam- uh, my home a long time ago. I tried to get away and...well, let's just say I ended up here."

"You don't have to hide down here, there are people who are willing to welcome you into their family, into _my_ family." Yin reached a hand out to touch her's, but she shrunk away. The girl sat in silence once again, and the stillness was killing Yin. The girl seemed so intent on suffering in silence, like she didn't want to inconvenience anyone. It seemed as if she didn't then she'd break some ridiculous system that benefited no one. It reminded Yin of how she once was.

She would tolerate anything as long as people still considered her useful. Unlike contractors, she didn't accept the abuse because there was some other benefit, or due to it being better in comparison to something else. No she allowed herself to suffer because had no other choice. She was completely numb to anything and everything. Of course she still had that logical programming ingrained in her, that of which was on par with that of contractors', but unlike them, she lacked the power needed to make her choice. She didn't like seeing such traits in a girl so young. Even she had maintained her childhood longer than the likes of this poor girl. Yin decided she didn't want to simply leave her be. Somehow, someway, she'd ease her into the idea of this new family. No matter how long it took.

"I'll come again tomorrow." Yin promised. The girl looked up at her, sceptical of Yin's motives. But despite the possible danger, hope gleamed in her eyes.

After a long silence, the girl whispered a near silent; "Okay..."

The small girl watched Yin leave, knowing well that this was her purest state. And that this was the last time she'd see her like this.


	17. Chapter 17

Everything was running smoothly for the first three days. Yin had arrived the the customary group of supporters. The mentor, trainer, and if possible recently indoctrinated familiar. Of course and Shira and Tanai were essential, but Yin actually had a variety of people to choose from when it came to the familiar. She was comfortable enough with number of people who would qualify for the part. But Rinkai had _begged_ her to choose him. He seemed almost protective in his demands, as if she needed him to be there. He treated it like it was his responsibility to stand by her and support her through some troubling time.

But he didn't have to put up much of a fight, for Yin saw no reason to deny him. He was probably just reluctant to let her leave after they'd just reunited so recently.

Though things took an odd turn after Yin had chosen all those who would accompany her. That night, Shira made her dinner _'special'_ for her. Special as in she and Tanai collectively drugged her. During Yin's slumber the group boarded a plane to an isolated island. Rinkai looked over Yin's body guiltily. Though he was concerned he knew she was in good hands, after all he'd be there either way.

Yin awoke on the first day in an odd comfortable bed. It was much larger than necessary and didn't suite Yin's fairly modest nature. The soft cotton sheets made her instinctively cuddle deeper into the blankets. A stray breeze escaped from the outside air and stroked her body. Yin shivered slightly and tried to wrap the blanket around tighter. But when she attempted to move her left arm she felt a harsh tug against her wrist.

The vestiges of sleep immediately disappeared from Yin's mind as looked up to find that her she was handcuffed to the bedstand.

"Wha-?" She moaned. Memories from the night before came flooding back to her mind and she felt fear seize her. A seemingly infinite amount of questions flooded her mind and added to her panic.

 _'Where am I?'_

 _'How'd I get here?'_

 _'Was I drugged?'_

 _'Does anyone know I'm here?'_

Though she knew her efforts were futile, she began to tug at the handcuffs excessively. She bit back the urge to scream, knowing better than to alert any assailant that might be lurking. Though she had recently become more awake and aware in terms of understanding her emotions, these feelings were still new to her. The way the fear ravaged her body was nauseating, and she could see no way to control it. It concocted numerous scenarios of her doomed future, and made her question what she'd done wrong in the past to deserve this. She heard the door creak open and she felt the horror within increase tenfold as the horrid sound moaned on. Tears brimmed in her eyes as heart rate and breathing sped up. She could feel nothing but the terror now.

"Yin?" Yin's senses bursted with relief. The sound Shira's soothing voice calmed Yin almost instantaneously. "You're awake already- oh! Honey, don't pull on that,"

Shira approached her swiftly, and with each step closer Yin sucked up the sense of security she gave off like a sponge. Shira uncuffed her and Yin promptly reached up for a hug. Shira held her back with a tenderness that only a mother could accomplish. Yin never thought she'd feel such sensation again, but leave it up to Shira to make the impossible possible.

"I was... I was so scared!" Yin whispered urgently.

"It's okay, you were safe the entire time!" Shira tilted her head upwards. "I tried to talk them out of cuffing you, but people usually freak out and try to run when they wake up here."

Though Yin could see why one would react that way, she decided to look past it anyway. "Where are we?"

"We're at Alucricity Headquarters now Yin," Shira smiled. "We're home."

Yin knew they'd take to the headquarters sooner or later, but she didn't think it'd be this secretive or forceful. Yin felt as though a personal boundary had been breached. Longer she thought about, the more Shira's hold made her squirm. Eventually she pulled away, despising how uncomfortable she felt in the arms of someone she held so dear.

Yin felt an uncharacteristically warm breeze brush against her skin. The wind also carried the scent of sand and salt. Feeling disoriented and doubtful, Yin asked, "Are we still in Japan?"

But Shira dodged the question expertly. "Let's get you something to eat first okay?" With the growling of her stomach, Yin couldn't deny her. She'd only eaten half her dinner after all.

Together they entered a grand dining hall, where a great feast was displayed across the lengthy table before them. Yin noticed Rinkai and prepared to ask him he was in on this. Her mouth opened to release a barrage of questions but he avoided her gaze. His tone was hushed whenever he spoke to her, and he appeared to be shrinking away from her. Yin could sense he felt guilty, and once she was satisfied with his suffering, she reassured him with a smile.

As soon as Yin finished eating she was whisked away by a cloud of women who led her to a dressing room of sorts. They stripped her of her clothes -a habit most Alucricity members seemed to harbor- and dressed her in 'sacred robes'. Once she was she dressed and all the breathless prayers had been said, the took her, at last, to meet father.

Yin's heart pounded as she approached the colossal door before her. Yin could feel the light of the golden arches outlining the door reflected on her face. The sound of it croaking open was an almost magical indication what could be behind that door.

The group walked for what seemed like forever down this large throne room. Suddenly, Yin was forced onto her knees by her shoulders. Yin mimicked the others and lowered her hips rest against her feet, she bowed her head in respect. For long time the room was silent. Tentative.

"Disperse," A long deep voice bellowed. "Let me see my child."

The women stood and moved to the back of the room, their torsos still bent forward.

Father stood and kneeled before Yin. He pulled her chin up so he could look at her clearly. "Rise my child,"

Yin didn't know what it was about his voice but, it stirred something in her. It sounded ever-knowing. It made her feel as if she'd just been enlightened. In her mind, he was completely omniscient. He allowed her to rise to her feet and pulled her into his frail yet secure arms. Yin hadn't felt so loved in such a long time. In comparison all she'd been through, she wondered if she'd ever truly been loved at all. She could even feel the admiration from the women behind her on her back.

He pulled away from her. "We are one now."

Before Yin could react the throne room was filled various members, along Shira, Tanai, and Rinkai who returned to her side. The group easily thrust into a wild celebration. Father's words echoed in Yin's head and she contemplated on their depth. With each passing second she felt herself believing in them more and more. They breathed air into her, and like someone who was seconds away from drowning, she sucked it in greedily.

Like a fool, she let them inspire feelings of devotion in her. She would soon come to realize that those words were nothing but chains.


	18. Chapter 18

They partied for three full days. Of course most people passed out at random intervals only to transition back into the festivities as if nothing had happened. Yin didn't think anything would be able to top the minor ceremonies back at her humble hideout, but even that seemed like a small gathering compared to this. Just as before, everyone was connected on an almost molecular level. But Yin had never met any of these people before, and they'd all melded together on a much larger scale. It only made this more meaningful to Yin.

But of course, the party couldn't go on forever. And the feelings of euphoria would eventually come to cease as well. But not quite yet, there was still a show to put on.

On Sunday, Father called Yin into a secret room. Yin hesitated, nervousness filling her stomach. She hadn't heard anything about this man aside from vague praises. But her feet followed him while her mind wandered to fear. Yin entered the room, feeling its largeness as soon as she stepped inside. Father led her to the large grand piano that stood before a large window. He let her hand glide across it, Yin smiled slightly as she began to re-familiarize herself with the childhood token that had once been so precious to her. She felt nostalgic as distant memories returned to her once again. She remembered all the beautiful melodies she could make despite her blindness. She had nothing back then. There was no spectre to help her, only Kastinen, her parents, and her own skill could led to her success. If only things had ended differently...

Her mind returned to the sickly feeling of her mother's near terrified gaze on her as she played. Yin pulled away sharply.

"Go on," Father's soft and guiding voice called out to her. "You play don't you?"

"I'm no master," Yin said, her voice soft and bashful, very unlike her past self who would've boasted confidently about her talent and deny any and all mistakes on her part. But now, her voice was tinged with nervousness, afraid to disappoint Father with her shortcomings. Even now Yin felt it odd that his approval meant this much to her even though they'd only known each other for a few days.

But the heat of his expectant gaze urged her to sit before the piano and softly place her fingers before the ivory keys to mentally prepare herself. The short moment of doubt was cleared from her mind as she pressed her fingers down against the keys. Her hands flowed naturally as they glided across piano. She pressed down on the petals beneath her at the perfect moments, the lessons from her childhood were woven into her soul. She closed her eyes and let the music overwhelm her. Sat back and let it take her to places unknown, her being the only driving force keeping her there. She knew she wouldn't remember the adventures she embarked on as she dipped her fingers into the clouds as she tune rang in her ears over and over again.

Yin didn't notice Father turn off all the lights surrounding them. All but one. The one that stood over her, casting a spotlight upon her. The light was warm and inviting somehow. As it flashed across her skin it reminded her of something that was long lost at this point. But Yin couldn't put her finger on what was missing in it, but she was glad for the foreign comfort it provided.

The Yin played three songs before she heard the loud clapping that originated from Father. She hadn't realized how tired she was until he interrupted her. She thanked him profusely. He insisted that he was lucky to hear her play, but Yin knew he had no idea of how glad she was to have this moment. Being away from her muse for so long... it was almost unhealthy. Every artist had the desire to work with their talents. To improve and grow, to watch it evolve into something you never thought you were capable of. Even if you were stuck on something, or were in that awkward rut where you desperately needed a break but still wanted to work on whatever project you were making, the desire was still there. Though she was lucky enough to be able to play with Kastinen the time she ran away, she was sure a chance like that wouldn't come around any time soon. The Syndicate wasn't really known for letting their dolls express themselves.

"You can come here anytime you like, you're free to do as you please."

Yin's heart swelled at the sound of those words strung together in such a perfect sentence. "Thank you Father, _thank you_."

* * *

The next day, when Father led her to a new room, she was expecting another pleasant surprise. But the surprise she'd receive would not be a pleasant one. An object concealed beneath a cloth stood in the center of the room. "You of all people should know of the evils of this world." Father spoke suddenly.

"Father?" Yin questioned.

"I'd like to believe that I am the most forgiving there is..."

"Of course Father," Yin encouraged wanting to return him to the soft spoken man she'd seen once before. His voice kept on shifting and wavering between that and something else.

"But some souls cannot be redeemed." His tone darkened, and Yin was compelled to agree. "Do You know why I founded Alucricity?"

"No Father."

"To save those who needed saving. To bring those who wanted to repent to the light." Father turned away from her. "That means vanquishing the evils that plague this world. Understand?"

"I understand."

He turned to her slightly, raising an eyebrow. Yin could feel his quizzical look on her skin.

"I understand, _Father_." She corrected herself nervously.

"I can't do this on my own. I need to know that my children are forever loyal to me,"

Yin didn't understand why he was telling her this. Did he think her unloyal?

"I am utterly committed to you Father. If there were a binding above my word you would have it-"

"I believe you child," He silenced her. "But every member must prove themselves. It is a rite of passage."

Father pulled the cloth down, revealing a double sided scythe. The likes of which she'd only wielded once, and ameturely at that. But she supposed being able to wield it at all was a feat considering how dangerous that tool was. She had mastered skill of using an average scythe, but that didn't mean she could suddenly master this thing in the blink of an eye.

"I need you to strike down the sinners of this world. There is one in particular who suits you at this stage."

Yin considered what he was asking of her. Was she meant to kill some random person assigned to her? Is it someone she knew? She hadn't expected to need to fight someone at all while in Alucricity. "Father, you don't mean for me to use that do you?" Yin asked, hoping to somehow convince him to see reason.

"Tanai tells me you've been training with it."

 _'Did Tanai lie about that?'_ Yin couldn't be sure if Tanai had stretched the truth a bit, or if Father had misinterpreted what she said. After all, she did sort of play with a double sided scythe in the beginning... Either way, Yin didn't want to get Tanai into trouble, so she decided simply vouch for her anyway. Besides, how hard could it be? If she could play the piano, she could play an organ right?

"I haven't mastered it Father. I'm sorry." Yin didn't know why, but she felt small. As if the tightness of the small room was demanding that she shrink inside herself. Her tone softened and she couldn't meet his eyes. She didn't know why she felt so uneasy. Perhaps the room wasn't alone in its persuasion. Perhaps, there was another force, another energy that was pushing her.

"Yin, you will be judged tonight," Father's voice grew distant all of the sudden. "Now I wish I could spread my love to every corner of the globe, but you have to start pulling your own weight."

Father talked to her as if she'd been draining him of all his resources. But Yin didn't know any better. She began to fear that she had been taking too much from this community. What had she ever given them in return? Due to the blatant desperation for members, Yin figured that her joining would be enough to repay them for all they'd done. But now, being at headquarters, seeing all the people that resided here...she wasn't needed.

"It would be a shame for you to have come all this way only to leave empty handed..." Father continued. But Yin didn't need any more convincing.

"Yes Father. I shall fulfill your wishes...no matter what the costs..." Yin kneeled before Father and held her hands up. He placed the scythe in her hands.

"Return to your mentor child. She'll walk you through this." Father's tone soften a bit, but Yin knew he wouldn't let his guard down until the deed was done.

Yin carefully approached Shira's door once Father had dismissed her. She stood in front of it for several moments, not ready to embark on this dangerous mission. Yin lingered there for a long time before turning and walking back to her own room. She cursed her own cowardice and tried to push the fears of what might happen to her if she didn't do what was asked of her.

But to Yin's dismay, within the confines of her room sat Shira, along with Tanai.

"Get dressed." Shira gestured to the kevlar shirt and pants, padded up with select pieces of cage armor. There also a small belt of equipment to aid in her mission. Shira's voice was stone cold. Yin was so used to the sound that she could barely comprehend it. Yin was hardly comfortable with any of this, but she felt like everyone's hearts were too closed for her to say anything. She thought this would be easier. She figured that since she was connected by blood they'd have no reason to refuse her. And the way Shira lamented how badly she wanted Yin to join, as if members were sparse. Which within illusion of the hideout, they were. But being here, seeing how many people lived in headquarters...it was clear that she was doing them no favors.

But there was no going back now. She had no where else to go. If she left the safety of Alucricity, her betrayal of the Syndicate would certainly get her killed. What with the suddenly cold demeanor of all those around her, Yin couldn't be sure if she'd be missed. She silently feared that even Hei would move on with ease.

She didn't have to back to the Syndicate, but she wasn't confident she could make it anywhere else. The way Father looked at her...it made her glad that she couldn't him directly. He hadn't scorned her, or looked down on her disapprovingly, but her body burned beneath him. She felt flames lick at her skin, as if being touched by a gaze as imperial as his that lacked utter praise and approval had sent her straight into the pits of Hell. For the first time in a long time, Yin felt a strong yearning. At the disruptive realization that she was not truly accepted, a desire grew within her to gain that acceptance. She wanted Father to acknowledge her, to value her. She wanted them to truly be one, just as Father had claimed.

But Yin knew from the way he looked at her that he was far above her, they were far from one. His distant eyes and nearly accusing voice proved that Alucricity was her only choice. If a place so gracious and compassionate couldn't accept her then there was truly no place for her.

Yin changed and tried to prepare herself for what was coming next. Shira pulled out a suspicious looking meal and told her it was best to eat before battle.

Yin wasn't fooled, but allowed herself to be drugged once again.


	19. Chapter 19

Yin awoke in an alley, her senses numb. There was a distorted buzzing in her ear, and an odd pressure in it as well. Memories returned to her swiftly as she realized her purpose for the time being. She felt the scythe beneath her hand clasped it tighter. Collecting herself, she sat up with her bent legs spread away from each other. She felt up the body of her scythe, trying to familiarize herself with the new weapon. Once the effects of the drug wear off further, Yin could clearly distinguish the earpiece in her ear, and the instructions coming from it. She listened closely to Shira's voice.

 _"...target is just around_ _the corner. Eliminate any and all accomplices. Your target-"_

Realizing the message played on a loop, Yin pulled the earpiece out of her ear and crushed it with her foot. She found that she couldn't stand to listen to Shira's suddenly stern voice any longer than necessary. Yin got to her feet a little too quickly, stumbling a bit. She figured they'd want this done as soon as possible, and she had no idea how long she'd been lying there. Yin pressed her body up against the building behind her. She unscrewed a small sack of water in her utility belt. Sticking a finger inside, she scoped out what she soon realized was an abandoned building. Inside were a couple of kids. A young girl, presumably around seven or eight lied across from her older brother, who looked about twelve. They shivered beside a controlled fire. Considering the small backpack beneath the flames, it looked like they had to sacrifice some of their supplies to keep out the cold.

These were the sinners she was supposed to execute? They were only children! Yin thought there must be some mistake, but she knew if she sacrificed the mission to question Father she'd be looked down upon. And rejected at that. She wouldn't risk it. But maybe they were a danger... they could've presented some sort threat she was unaware of. Yin took a moment longer to inspect them further, double checking them for weapons.

But she lingered too long, the boy noticed her spectre in a pool of dirty water. He roughly shook his sister up and they bolted out of the building together. Yin remained hidden, seeing that they were headed right for her. The two ducked out of an opening in the wall and noticed Yin standing right beside their rotting exit.

Yin caught a glimpse of the genuine fear that shone in their eyes just before she allowed her spectre to disappear. Even after their horror filled gaze left her sight, Yin could still feel the terror pulsing through their veins as if it were running through her own. For a second Yin wondered why they were so scared of her. How could they have known who she was working for? Or even if she was truly after them? But Yin shifted her attention to the targets before her.

She could tell they were experiencing an adrenaline rush. There was no way they'd be faster than her otherwise. But it didn't matter, they were heading into the woods. Yin would soon be in her element. Yin didn't think all those morning runs through the woods with Tanai would aid her in something like this. She figured she'd be able to run from a pursuer, not become a better one.

Just as she had suspected, the kids struggled to navigate through the forest. They tripped and stumbled over logs, twigs, and rocks alike. Every little sound they made only helped Yin keep track of them as they tried to flee. Yin was gaining speed with every passing second. The children never stood a chance, Yin was completely in tune with her surroundings. For every little obstacle they fumbled with Yin crushed beneath her feet. She jumped over every log she came across, feeling it long before it was upon her. Even her form was superior.

The boy noticed that Yin was quickly approaching, his head looking behind him repeatedly. Something Yin trained herself not to do, knowing it would be the downfall of any prey -a position she expected for herself. Terror came off him waves. His pupils dilated and his breath hitched. In fear, the boy ripped his hand from his sister's, not realizing at the moment that he was half her speed. The girl had fallen into Yin's hands now, a mistake her brother regret for the rest of his short life.

For a spit second, Yin feel nothing but the burn of Father's condescending eyes and her own desire to be accepted by him. Before Yin could think her body moved without her permission. The scythe swooped down, it's lethal blade slicing through flesh and bone. This wasn't the first Yin had seen someone get killed or was even inches away from from the murder. This wasn't even the first time she'd killed someone, unfortunately. But the moment Yin scythe cut into that girl's skin, she could feel the child's life surge up through her weapon and into Yin herself. She could feel her heavy breathing, her stuttering heartbeat, even the little limbs that fought to get away from her caused a pull in Yin's. She could even taste the scream that got caught in the little girl's throat.

Her life throbbed in Yin's hands and in the short second that Yin held it within her own, Yin was able to understand it's importance. She felt the life of her prey pound and vibrate inside her. Every molecule, every fiber of potential, flowed up into Yin and forced her to embrace it with reluctance. Time slowed as Yin thought of what this girl was, and who she could've been. Though she was so young, though she had next to no body, this girl, this _soul_ was bigger than Yin. There was still so much to be uncovered, to be understood. This child knew nothing of herself, she had no time to form... no life to experience.

But Yin's moment outside of time was soon over. The blade ripped through bone. It tore past organs. The blood sprayed out in all directions, as if afraid to be caught in the path of her blade. The life of which Yin had gained a deeper understanding of was ripped away from her so violently. She felt it being tugged away from her own body. Yin could hardly comprehend the weight of what she'd just done at the moment, but she could already feel the emptiness of the death that had just occured inside her.

The scythe had also sliced halfway through a tree beside them. Yin in her amateurity had paid no mind to the second blade that had sliced through her abdomen. But Yin was completely numb to it as she looked down at the broken body before her. The girl's tattered and now torn clothes were soaked with blood, as was the foliage around them. Her intestines spilled out onto the forest floor. Her right arm had been severed just beneath the elbow.

Yin had never seen someone torn to pieces like that. She found it hard to believe that she was capable of something like this. Her hands trembled slightly.

The boy Yin had momentarily forgotten about hollered at the top of his lungs. His face was contorted into the perfect image of fear and grief. Yin could even feel it's shape as if the image had burned into her skin. Choked gasps filled the air. He could speak no words. No tears came either. So overcome with emotion he could hardly express it. He reached out to her, despite knowing it was futile. Why did he let go of her hand?

A deep hatred grew inside Yin. Though it was for herself, she didn't quite understand such strong emotion yet. Nor did most in truth. The world uses such a word so loosely, unaware of it's effect. Unaware of the turmoil it could stir up. Yin couldn't say she'd never hated herself before. Being the cause of her mother's death, she hated herself for her selfishness. Her arrogance. Her rashness. But she had little time to fully experience the fullness of those emotions. Not too long after, she was a doll, and anything from the time before had been reduced to numbness. Of course the hatred had stained the back of her mind, but it was easy to dismiss such feelings.

But now, it came on head first. She was overridden with disgust and fear for herself. Her heart pounded in response. Her breath came out as fast puffs of air. Her mind grew dizzy. She didn't know what to do with these feelings. She wished she could direct them somewhere, but she didn't know how. The fleeting thought of, _'I want to go home...'_ crossed her mind, but she didn't quite know where that was yet. A pain clenched her heart and she wanted nothing more than to be rid of it the moment the feeling struck her. She bent over slightly, her face twisted in an agony brought on by the sickness that now grew inside her.

 _"...you will be judged tonight,"_ Father's demanding voice rang in Yin head once again. _"...you have to start pulling your own weight."_

Momentarily accepting her fate, Yin remembered just what she came here for. It was time for her to finish what she started. Understanding what she must do, Yin pulled herself together. She pushed her feelings to the back of her mind, concealing them with the type of skill only a doll could possess. She reduced herself to the static silence that had invaded the intimate privacy of mind when she'd once lived as a doll. Her heartbeat slowed to a near mute as her breathing grew even. She cleared her mind of everything but her target, and her training.

Yin stood tall, hovering over the small boy. He cowered in fear, his large eyes staring up into hers. She stared back, purposefully unseeing, purposefully choosing not to sense his fear. Yin swung at him, but in his fear he jumped away. But his luck would soon run out.

Yin cast her weapon into a downward motion, attempting to pierce the head and end this quickly, but the poor boy would not give up! He flinched away, and like a fool, he held his hands up in defense.

The sound of tearing bone was painful to Yin's ears, but not as painful as the excruciating sensation the boy was feeling right now. His hand split between middle and ring finger. The gruesome tear stretched down his forearm. The boy howled at the top of his lungs as he felt the pain explode all throughout his nervous system. Unlike most people who would hold an injury to themselves in order to console it, the boy pulled his arm away from himself, afraid to touch it. It looked as if he were trying to detach it. Just seeing a bone part in such an unnatural way was enough to make anyone hiss away in pain. But Yin willed the pain and remorse away. There was still work to be done.

Raising her scythe one last time, she prepared for her final attack. She wouldn't screw this one up...

"Wait!" He spoke at last. His voice shaky with agony. Yin stopped in her tracks, momentarily pierced by his voice. "I know you...! You're w-with that group-!"

His broken sentences were hard for even him to understand, but he had to work with it if he wanted to plead for his life. "My..other sister- too, older- is there. She sta- Ahhhahg!" Pain struck him as he spoke.

"She stays... worried- all I have... now..." He cried out in pain once again. His eyes rolled into the back of his head. He was losing blood fast and the pain alone should be enough to make him pass out. He had a low tolerance for such suffering, if he lost conscienceness now he would surely die. Still, he babbled on incoherently to himself, fighting for life.

Yin felt guilt rack her body despite herself, but she willed herself back to numbness regardless of her growing reluctance.

She couldn't fight the hesitation she expressed however, unfortunately for her, he noticed.

"Please... _please_..." He begged. Yin felt sick to her stomach. How did she get here? She was supposed to be making a home for herself at Alucricity, none of this was meant to happen! If she'd only seen this coming, she would've reconsidered her love for this place.

Yin tried to stop herself from thinking of all she'd put him through. But she couldn't stop her mind from wandering to his sister's lifeless and distorted body. She knew well of the terror he must've experienced once he realized what had happened. She'd been a key factor in her mother's death, and though their assassination was enviable he had in a way lead to her end. They shared the same position, Yin could feel nothing but empathy for the child.

She wanted nothing more than to end this quickly. For him to go painlessly. She thought of slitting his throat, that would cause the least injury, though she'd already inflicted far more pain him than she did his sister.

But this weapon was foreign to her, she couldn't angle it toward his throat without hindering herself. Other than that, she wasn't sure she could trust her trembling hands to do this properly. All this time she'd felt like she was getting stronger, like she could hold her own if she were in danger. But feeling the weight of this scythe, feeling it's might...it was completely overbearing. She hesitated with every gesture, unsure of the outcome, unsure of her own abilities. She had never felt so inadequate in her life. She was certain her first attack was only successful due to luck.

Yin felt uncomfortable in her own skin, she wanted to go. She wanted to go back to Alucricity and into the safety of Shira's loving arms. But she knew they wouldn't accept her. Father's judging eyes and Shira's cold distant stare made sure she knew what was waiting for her if she failed. Yin hated herself for it. Somewhere within the muddle of strong and estranged emotions Yin convinced herself that this was her fault. There was no real reason for their sudden shift in behavior, so for Yin it was simply easier to accept this as the cause.

Longing for home and awash with guilt and disgust, Yin rose the scythe up over her head and swung down. The blade pierced the heart directly, killing him almost instantly. He lasted for about twenty seconds, lightly grasping at the blade and choking on blood all the while. Yin figured she must've punctured a lung as well, she could feel a few of his broken ribs contorting to make room for the scythe lodged in his chest.

Yin flinched backwards harshly as the throbbing force of his life pulsed through her as his sister's did. His beating heart shook her weapon in his last moments of life. For a moment she'd thought it was her trembling hands that caused the slight tremors that coursed through her scythe, but the shaky movement was so in sync with his struggling heartbeat.

Even in his last moments his body fought for life. His heart pounded without rhythm and his lungs pumped in desperation. Even after his eyes dimmed with the darkness of his oncoming death, his body still fought to keep him alive. It knew of what an unnatural end this was, and Yin soon realized that she was the unnatural force that had brought this upon him.

She ripped the scythe out if him, going as far as to pull it up over her head in aggression. She stood hunched over, her back to the two bodies that lied in her wake. She stumbled slightly, her breathing heavy despite herself. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. She'd never hated the feeling as much as she did at that very moment. The feeling, the sound, it was identical to the boy's. What have her the right to feel her heart rattle around within her above that of an innocent child? How could her heart keep beating while his lied wounded and numb?

A lump formed in Yin's throat and she began to let out breathy cries in attempt to avoid falling into hysterics. Her vision blurred as her body began convulsing in order to block out the traumatic events that her mind couldn't handle. The harsh movements only opened up the wound in Yin's abdomen. She winced in pain and fell to her knees, clutching her stomach as she fell. She hadn't even felt the pain up until that moment.

She couldn't remember when she'd gotten the injury, but it was bleeding out now, and fast. She was sure she'd die if she didn't come in contact with Alucricity soon. She regretted ditching the earpiece she woke up with. She felt the ugliness of resentment rear up within her. Why did Father insist on using this weapon? It didn't matter as long as she got the job done. And why had Tanai lied to Father in the first place? But worst of all, why did Yin accept all this without question? Why did she succumb to the demanding, yet distant eyes of Father? Why did she pine for the warmth of Shira's comfort and security to the point where she'd unwittingly give up her own innocence to drive away this suddenly cold demeanor?

Yin suddenly felt herself being pulled upwards. Her strength left her and she made no attempt to fight. Whoever was holding her was warm. Their grip firm and steady, but extremely gentle at the same time. If she didn't know any better she would've thought she'd died and was being dragged up to heaven, but considering the most recent sequence of events, she was sure she would be led elsewhere once her time was up.

A soft voice, one oh so familiar, one that Yin had missed dearly whispered in her ear, "Mission accomplished,"


	20. Chapter 20

Yin lied in bed for weeks before waking up fully. She remembered short instances of consciousness, but she couldn't be sure if that was all just apart of some fever dream she'd been having at the time. Thinking back to just before she passed out in the woods, she could distinctly remember being held by someone. The softness of their voice, the scent on their skin, even their grip reminded her so much of her mother. She was sure it was her mother who had cared for her the entire time. Whenever she woke up in a fit she could've sworn it was her mother who peeked into her to check up on her. Yin could almost see a vague outline of her figure as she came rushing in just before Yin herself passed out once again.

Some nights she'd sit at the side of her bed and stroke her hair, smoothing it out with her tender fingers. Every now and again she'd softly run the back of her hand over her temple. Yin remembered how much she used to hate when her mother did that. It annoyed her to no end, and her being as stubborn as she was didn't help either. It made her feel like a child, a feeling that Yin despised back then. It didn't help that her mother always spent hours at her beside doing this. Though her mother would usually let up whenever Yin snapped at her, during the nights at her bedside she would cling to her, refusing to deny Yin of her care and refusing to be denied of giving it. Yin could rarely protest since it really did calm her, but she often found herself wishing her mother would leave her be or go to sleep herself.

But now, whenever she felt the ghostly pressure of her mother's lost affection, she'd close her eyes and hope for it to last as long as possible, because something in her just knew this couldn't be real.

However her mind returned to her, and the blurred face of her mother soon morphed into Shira's affectionate gaze. Yin felt disappointment flood her senses at first, but the longer she gazed up at Shira's face she was relieved that she could still have a piece of her mother through Shira.

"...Shira?" Yin asked, her raspy voice foreign to her own ears.

"It's okay, everything's fine now..." Shira shushed her. Her voice was quiet despite the daylight pouring in through the window.

"What's -what's going on? How long have I been asleep?" Yin tried to sit up slightly but flinched back down into the safety of her thick blankets in pain.

"Careful," Shira's soft voice cooed as she placed a gentle hand on Yin's shoulder. "You really got yourself good back there...but it's okay, you have your family behind you now."

Clarity flashed in Yin's eyes as she realized her success. "I'm...family now?"

Shira smiled widely tears of elation brimming in her eyes. She nodded and leaned down to place a lingering kiss on Yin's forehead.

Overcome with relief, Yin's shaky hands reached up to cup Shira's cheeks. She wanted to feel her expression, to know this was real and true. At the time, it became incredibly easy to forget what she'd been through, the crimes she was forced to commit for a spot in this tight community. She could only think of how grateful she was to see Shira as she is, the loving caretaker she truly was deep inside. Yin promised herself that she would never drive Shira to such a point again. When she looked down at her with that cold distance between them, it made Yin feel more alone than she'd ever been before.

Her swelled in delight as she realized she had served Father well. She was that much closer to him and his otherworldly might. She was sure the distance between them would diminish as the one between her and Shira had, and for a moment, it did. As soon as she could stand and walk on her own, a great ceremony was held in her honor. It was there that she kneeled before Father as he rattled off several incantations that Yin couldn't even begin to understand. But the crowd seemed perfectly attuned as they moaned a hymn every time some telepathical cue signaled for it. Father's voice was deep and swelled with pride. He sounded more accepting than Yin had ever heard him before, and she found herself feeling blessed to kneel before such an otherworldly creature. At last there was truth to the words Father had spoken to her when she first stood before him. They were finally one. Not only Yin and Father, but she and Alucricity were now one sole entity.

Yin didn't know what to do with the emotions such a strong connection brought on. Feelings of gratitude, admiration, astonishment, fulfillment, fear, completion, and many other emotions overwhelmed her. She could do nothing as the tears rushed from her trembling body. A smile stretched across her face as she relished in the new family she'd gained. She had never truly understood within the static numbness of her mind what was missing in her life. But now she could remember clearly of the family that was whisked away from her all too soon. She couldn't tell if this was all meant to be, or if everyone she knew and loved was stolen from her in preparation for the star's crucial disappearance. Maybe it was nothing but a lesson on how to lose everything that's constant. The family whose death she'd never even contemplated before, the end that didn't exist to her until it occured. And as if nothing else could go wrong, even the moon in the sky was lost. Erased from the sky to make room for new stars that would ruin them. She was baffled. The purest light she'd ever felt, the only symbol of the world outside of her never ending darkness, the only proof that there was more than just nothingness to grasp at in her blindness...gone.

She had so little time to mourn her losses, and even less time to comprehend why. She couldn't tell if it was months, weeks, or even days before even the sorrow that tore at her body was foreign to her. Everything Yin suspected to be real was gone in an instant. Proven to be an illusion for no reason she could see. But now, here she was. Part of a family so great that their love showed her true blindness. You don't need eyes to make sense of your situation, but to close your mind's eye... that was dangerous. But they made everything okay! It was so easy to forget when they were together. When they were all gathered around her, reaching out desperately to touch her but never quite doing so due to their lack of worthiness. When they worshiped her like the god she was sure Father was, it made the memories of those two terror struck kids in the woods become a blur. Father's given her a new name. Had they drugged her? She didn't realize. Her new name's pretty. She didn't ask for it, but she thinks she should be happy so she is. Did Shira manipulate her with her sudden shift in personality? Oh well, it was probably her fault anyway. Aiona is what they'll call her from now on. What was she called before? Yin decided that if it was forgotten so easily, then it must not matter.

And so they had a celebration. Another party, rave, festival, soirée, whatever you want to call it. But deep down Yin knew it celebrated nothing. The party went on for days, as it usually does, but this time, Yin curled in on herself. Her party spirit was dampened by the vestiges of the swallowed screams that longed to erupt from those children on that day. And though Yin should guilt solely for the children she ripped from this land, she still felt a bite in her abdomen for the people she was letting down here. So she faked a smile for the most part and when she simply couldn't, she used her fingers and blamed her nature as a doll. She tried her best to taste the bountiful food displayed before her, but the numbness that was engulfing her body made it a bit more difficult. And as she danced in tune with everyone else, she briefly wondered why she should be so grateful for something she didn't ask for, something that was cast upon her without regard for her feelings.

Yin didn't spare a second thought for the fact that she'd already spent two weeks at Headquarters despite Rinkai only staying for five days. Or the fact that Rinkai had neither been renamed or experienced a ceremony. Or even why Rinkai said nothing of any of these anomalies. But soon none of it would matter. The party couldn't last forever, and there were no time for questions once there was work to be done.


	21. Chapter 21

For the next six months Yin underwent torturous training with several other disciples. They all lived in an underground bunker beneath the HQ tower. That of which Yin hadn't even known was a tower, considering the fact that they didn't let her out until then. Her mornings -feeling more and more like mourning- started before dawn, before the sun. Yin did her best not to resent this fact, and for the most part, she succeeded. Before all else they were ordered a random set of push-ups, sit-ups, and jump squats. None of which were under 20 reps. Once that was done they would run laps around the compound. After that they could finally have breakfast and rest for half an hour.

Yin didn't mind running so much. It was simple. Effortless. It was when she ran that her mind was clear. That she could drift away into dreams forgotten. Maybe running simply came naturally to her in a sense. She was always trying to run away. From home, when the pressure of losing her father and having her mother pulled away from her by a secret romance became too much. Or away from contractors and into their moon lit spectres. And even from the Syndicate. Though everything about her, even her body, was meant to be stoic, she was always ready to pick up her feet and go. But being here at Alucricity, Yin came to realize that there were some things you just couldn't run from.

After breakfast, the large group was paired off and were made to spar with one another. At first, their weapons were wooden. Harmless. But one day they were presented with their legitimate weapons. Few, despite their fear spoke for the group and asked for their old tools back. Those who decided to be brave that day were sentenced to run laps around the compound for the rest of the day, and late into the night. From then on the sparring sessions grew increasingly dangerous. They attempted to be as careful as they could, but their monitors weren't having that. Any sense of hesitation equated to slacking, which led to a harsh whack on the head by their bamboo sticks. It was clear that they didn't need real weapons to inflict serious pain.

And so injuries spread throughout the unit. Some wounds deeper than others, however. Some people faced crippling disabilities, while others were out of the infirmary within a day or two. And Yin was no stranger to injury. She would often times be hauled off to the infirmary in silent misery, not wanting anyone to mistake her suffering for ungratefulness. She knew she'd be judged if she expressed her pain too deeply.

Things only got worse during the final month. Yin and her peers were frequently sent out on crusades against enemy organizations. Whether their orders were to decrease enemy numbers, decrease enemy numbers, take a hostage, or even simply retrieving something, killing was always involved. It was whenever they were heading into a mission that Yin realized time and time again that she was in over her head. Of course she would find little ways to convince herself that things were fine and that she was the one overreacting to the situation. But there was something extremely unnerving about the way they traveled.

It was too complicated to drug such a large group. And drugging them constantly ran the risk of overdose -which Yin convinced herself that their wariness was a symbol of Alucricity's unyielding love for them- so they used another method of transportation, plane. Yin and her squadron however, all remained within the cargo hold beneath the aircraft. It was utterly packed in there with so many people and weapons crammed in there at the same time. They were forced to lean up against the wall in the "chair" position, and if they'd learned anything from their training they would remain absolutely still, their balance undisturbed even during the most violent cases of turbulence.

There were no windows down there so by the time they got out the place would already reek of sweat and dirt. The heat building down there only magnifying the putrid scent. The smell wasn't the only disadvantage of not having windows. The lack of those glass filled holes made the whole experience surreal and terrifying. Taking off made them all feel like they were being whisked away by some unknown force into their doom. Turbulence was just as nerve racking if not moreso. They could never tell what position the plane was in or how far up they were, so it was impossible to know whether or not they were plummeting to the ground, inches away from death.

The sense of panic grew quickly and it enveloped them in its ever growing reach all throughout the ride and deep into the mission. But that wouldn't hinder them, for if they failed, they'd meet a fate far worse. Being stranded with no way back to Alucricity. But it was when Yin was out on the battlefield that she felt true fear. Fear of the assailants pinned against her. Fear of her own abilities, what she was capable of. Fear of their cause. Fear of her own. Fear that their motives were more noble than hers.

Even the fear of her own peers overwhelmed her at times. What was once a group of timid but eager fighters, became a band of ruthless warriors unsure of whether or not teamwork was worth their time. Whenever they embarked on a conquest, all anyone wanted from the start was get back into torturous airplane and head back home as soon as possible. It didn't matter how many times they left for a mission, the paranoia was always fresh. They were ready and willing sell each other out, to lie to save their own skin. Disbelieving that forgiveness was an option in this community. And maybe, in terms of mindset, they were ahead of Yin in that area. But she still had hope! She still knew of the truth in Father's words. She still had a clasp on Shira's love. And for her, that was enough.

But Yin couldn't deny that there were times when she felt completely out of control. Especially on the battlefield. Most times she was forced to numb herself of all emotions. It was the best way to maintain her diligence. To distance herself from the dark crusader she held inside. But it was more than just clearing her mind. She pushed herself away from all that made her human, all that made hesitate and question her action. She hated it. That empty feeling gnawed at her for hours on end. And even after the mission had ceased, it still remained long enough to make her wonder if she really had control over it. Sometimes it showed up when she was alone, simply to remind her that it was still apart of her and ready flare back up at any moment.

In rare moments, Yin would wonder if she really did have a family there. Sometimes she felt so isolated and lonesome, even with so many people constantly surrounding her. In those moments, she'd gaze into the ever truthful ocean of the mirror through her spectre. She'd lift up her clothes and trace the scars littered her body she could've sworn that she'd never felt as low, or as disgusting than she did in those moments. When she could no longer look at the centipedes that were burned beneath her skin, she would rush into Shira's room fast enough to hide the tears that were quickly escaping her eyes.

It was as if she knew what Yin was feeling before she could even convey it, because before Yin even opened the door all the way, Shira was already standing, her arms wide open and waiting to envelope her in a hug. It was there Yin would confess to how ugly she felt and to how badly she needed someone beside her right then. Though she'd been through this time and time again, Yin always feared Shira would pass judgement or proclaim that her feelings were alien to her. But she never did. Shira showed her that she too knew what it was like to feel ugly in a way that you thought no one could understand, and that before her, there was a time when she also lead a life of loneliness, even when surrounded by others. Her fingers would trace Yin's scars with the gentle touch akin to a mother applying ointment to their hurting child but without the cream to aid her ...as if her fingers alone would heal. Yin would cry for a time, but Shira's soft voice and the light pressure of her fingers would lull her to sleep.

The next morning Yin would awake in her own bed, no matter what was going on. Even if there was supposed to be a mission and she was meant to be down in her bunker. But she would always awake swaddled within the softness of her satin sheets. And by then, the scars were gone.

* * *

Yin never thought she'd be so relieved to be back at the old hideout near tokyo. Of course this didn't mean the end of her fighting, or that she didn't have a new set of chores to take care of. Like chopping wood, tending to the crops when it was her turn, keeping watch over the camp, and going on supply runs. But she was mainly excited to keep the promise she made to a certain someone involving her return. So as soon as she was able, Yin set out for Hei's apartment.

As she approached his door, she felt a growing nervousness at her. It had been a while since she'd left the Syndicate. They couldn't honestly still be considered partners after all this time. Especially since she was technically working for the enemy now. She wasn't welcome here anymore, and if she knocked now, it would be fact. But a soft memory of him returned to her, like a whisper against the wind. She could've let it simply wash past her, something in her wanted to cling to it. The light whisper against her skin, which was admittedly closer than what would be considered appropriate for two 'friends'. She remembered the disappointed acceptance in his voice as he moaned, "I'll miss you," And Yin knew that if Hei were to say that to her in such a manner, then he must've meant it.

So she knocked twice, preparing herself for a quick goodbye if anything. She could hear some shuffling around through the thin walls and she feared her disturbing him would make for a bitter farewell. He opened the door a crack, his eyes squinting to a near close. He looked out past her, expecting someone taller. Overcome with an odd desire to see him, Yin dipped her thumb into her pouch and summoned a spectre. Yin took in his disheveled hair and overall tousled appearance. He seemed to be repelled by the light, and judging by the shades covering the windows of his apartment, it was safe to say it was pretty dark in there. Hei had always kept his appearance relatively neat, but now, he looked a little worse for wear. His pants' leg rode up against his shin and with none of his buttons buttoned, his shirt laid open, exposing his toned torso as if he'd just thrown it on upon hearing her knock. If the bags under his squinting eyes were any indication, he wasn't getting any sleep either.

After a moment, he looked down at her. His eyes widened, his shock overcoming the burn of the sun. He stilled for a good minute and to Yin, it felt like hours ticking past. She both dreaded and anticipated his reaction. He blinked at her a few times, wondering if her ethereal form before him was more than an illusion. But as he registered what was happening his expression morphed from that of mild annoyance to a mixture of surprise, relief, and even longing.

"Yin!" His voice cracked. Tears threatened to escape with his words so he feared to utter another sound. Practically leaping at her, he swallowed her up in the greatest, biggest hug he could muster. His right hand stroked her back up and down while his left pressed her head further past his shoulder as his fingers absentmindedly ran themselves through her hair. He trembled slightly as he held her, pressing the whole of his body against her's. Hei took in every sensation she induced in him. The softness of her skin and hair, the sweet watery scent she always carried, even the way her body fit into his stirred something in his stomach that he couldn't explain. Finding himself out control, and maybe even not wanting to control himself, he began placing open mouthed kisses all over her neck and jawline. Each one messier than the last, but none lack the hunger that throbbed within him during her absence. Yin stood for a long moment, his mouth stilling her. But she did eventually return the hug, her body heating in way she'd never felt before. Hei didn't seem to notice her pause. But Yin couldn't figure out what warranted this kind of outlandish reaction. She was utterly baffled by this sudden burst of passion. What could've happened while she was gone? Still, despite her confusion, she was moved by his affectionate zeal.

"Yin, where have you been?" Hei asked desperately. Yin looked up at him in confusion. Didn't she already tell him before she left? "What happened to the earpiece Huang gave you? I've been calling and calling-"

Yin pushed away him to look him in the eyes. "I've been at headquarters Hei, I thought you knew that..."

"You've been gone the entire time?" Hei's eyes were disbelieving as Yin nodded at him. "You said you'd only be gone a few days!"

Realization dawned on her as Yin finally registered how long she'd been gone. What he was suspecting to be a few days, maybe even a week, had morphed into seven long months. And Yin had merely allowed them to swallow up her time without question. She hadn't even thought, or even truly believed that she was leaving someone behind. Someone she needed to get back to. She felt a twinge of guilt as she thought of him calling her repeatedly, of all the sleepless nights he must've spent hoping she'd answer. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to be worried about. To have someone in your life who was actually concerned about your well-being. She'd almost forgotten that he was one of those people. She ignored the possibility of Alucricity distancing her from the feeling.

"I'm sorry Hei!" Yin apologized. "I didn't realize..."

He stared down at her for a long while, his mouth opening and closing in a clumsy attempt to convey how he'd been feeling all this time. He allowed his body to collapse over hers in a hug of desperation and longing. "God Yin..I- I was..." He said in a breath. But he didn't need to speak, Yin already knew that he missed her, just as he said he would.

"We should go somewhere private-" She pulled away from him, but he slid a hand around her waist.

"No, it's okay!" Hei explained. "You've been gone for a while now, no one would expect you to come back here."

He smiled at her and pulled her into the apartment. Once she was inside he realized how dark and dreary it was. Not only in lighting but in atmosphere as well. There was also somewhat of a mess of of his bullet proof jacket, a few masks that were battered and mostly broken, as well as some of his duller knives strewn about, a few were still pretty bloody. He promised himself that he'd sharpen them and cast them away into the proper hiding places, but he couldn't really get anything done lately... He was glad nonetheless that he didn't have much to make a mess with, otherwise things could've ended up looking much worse. Looking down at himself, he realized that he too appeared a bit scruffy. As he buttoned up his shirt a bit he ran a hand through his tousled hair while using his foot to readjust his pants leg. "Sorry, it's been a bit rough."

She navigated her way through the room safely, not minding the mess at all. She sat on the floor and leaned against the wall.

"I'll make you something to eat," Hei offered.

Yin thought of the sharp contrast between here, his apartment, and the Alucricity headquarters. Even the the hideout was much more extravagant than the apartment she currently resided in. Just a few days ago she was resting in a king sized bed snuggled between silk sheets and a mattress so soft she feared it would swallow her whole. Her walk in closet was furnished with rows and rows of clothes that she had no choice but to love, and even if she didn't she could send them away and have a new set at the snap of her fingers. The room was wide with more space than she'd ever know what to do with, and if she didn't like it, she could switch to any room wanted, even if it was already occupied.

But now, in this shrunken apartment with bare walls, no furniture, and seemingly no life, she'd felt the most at home.


	22. Chapter 22

They laid in his apartment together for hours. A blanket strewn beneath them to shield them from the hard ground. But it was obsolete in comparison to the comfort generated by their intimacy alone. Yin's head lied on Hei's chest as his arm hooked around her waist. Her leg rested in between his own, and every now and again he moved his foot to tease hers. As the two caught up, they spoke in a soft whisper. The mood was so calm and natural, a feeling that was lost to them until now. They almost feared that if they raised their voice even slightly, the air would be corrupted again. They'd been apart for so long, the pair had almost forgotten the feelings they once inspired in one another on a daily basis.

In her soft fleeting voice, she described her experience at headquarters. The large extravagant building, the huge room she didn't want, the near week-long celebrations. She told him about Father's god-like presence and how he got her a piano... how they'd bonded over it. She even went into great detail about all the people living there and how good they were to her. She said nothing of how they'd drugged her on multiple occasions, or how the most important people turned their backs on her when she was scared and wanted nothing but support. She went out of her way to avoid acknowledging the mark those kids made on her, and the many other targets like them.

In a moment of curiosity he asked, "What was your mission?" He noticed that even though Yin had spent so much time there, she spoke little of what she actually did and accomplished for Father. Yin stilled for a moment. Her dampening mood suddenly weighing the air down. Hei could immediately feel the distance she was putting between them and he nearly regretted asking before she spoke once again.

"I don't really remember it," She lied. "I think I just had to demonstrate the effects of my training..."

Maybe it wasn't an entire lie, but Yin was in no way ready to open up about what she'd done. Hei could tell something was wrong, as he always does, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. So he said nothing, despite the vague desire question her about it. He wanted nothing more than for her to know how badly he'd missed her, and that there's nothing to worry about when they were together.

Hei in turn shared all the hardships he'd been through at the Syndicate. The missions seemed to be getting more and more dangerous, and with no one he could trust, it was hard to say if he'd make it out alive in most cases. Once the comfort was secure around them, he confessed of how alone he felt without her and how there were times when he feared he'd die truly and completely alone. Yin pretended she didn't resonate with this so perfectly.

Yin knew just how he must've felt. But in that moment, she realized her definition of loneliness had changed. What had once looked like her sitting in isolation inside her small tobacco stand, had become Shira's cold eyes toneless voice. It looked like the entire community urging her to go against her will and numb herself into the mindless solider she was forced to cope with. It had morphed into weight of trying to live up to Father's god-like status, into Rinkai's silence and Tanai's dangerous lies. But she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and pretended her time at the tobacco stand was the only form of desolation she'd ever felt.

Without thinking Yin asked, "What was it like?"

"Hm?" Hei asked in return.

"The first time you killed someone," Yin spoke distantly, her mind too far away to catch up. "-What was it like?"

Hei clenched her a little tighter, caught off guard. He was reluctant, having never talked about it to anyone. He'd kept a lot of his kills bottled up inside. There was no reason, and in all honesty, no one to share them with. Not even his sister. He wanted to be strong for her, to show her he could be by her side despite his humanity. And even if he did share, she wouldn't have cared... not to his knowledge anyway. So he pushed his feelings away. Though some days were easier than others, and though there were times when he couldn't fool himself, it was better than being without Bai.

He remained silent for a long time, not at all sure how to explain his experience with her. He never spoke of his first murder before. It had traumatized him back then. He'd forgotten a large chunk of the people he'd killed between, but even now, he could still remember his first kill. He didn't know if could talk about this to her. But thinking of all the moments they'd shared, of the passing seconds beneath the stars together... he'd already told her so much, most of it without words. Remembering all he'd put her through, he owed this much. He didn't think he'd be able to share something so personal with a doll, but he knew now that she was much more than that. Somehow she'd managed to be there for him even as she was still trying to discover herself. Even when he'd inadvertently betrayed her and put her in a possibly dangerous situation, she never lost trust in him. She relied on him while she was trying to pick up the pieces, and somehow along the way, he found that he relied on her too. Looking down into her eyes he could almost see how lost she was in that moment. Like she needed to feel a part of him in order to pull herself out the thick woods she found herself in. But even that forlorn look was drowning in the mystery of her eyes.

"Well, I was just a kid at the time..." He sucked in a deep breath. "But I still had to prove myself to the Syndicate-"

Yin shot up. "Prove yourself?"

"Yeah, I mean, you probably didn't have to do it since you're a doll...you're expected to obey either way... but I was just human then, they probably didn't want me getting scared and running off."

Yin's eyebrows furrowed as she forced herself not to make any comparisons. So what if elimination was the sole action that granted them membership to certain organizations? It was different for her. She was proving her loyalty, her utter devotion to Father. The Syndicate had forced him, she had chosen this path.

"...they locked me in this dark room with someone," Hei's voice hardened. A method that Yin came to recognize as a defense mechanism. Though whenever he spoke to her his harsh tone usually softened, but as he went into grave detail, his voice darkened, even as he sought her out for comfort. "But when I looked closer, it was just a kid... a little younger than me I think..."

Yin had to fight to keep from trembling. Why did it have to be a kid?

"They had him tied up, all I had to do was strike..." They were bound ...just like those siblings were in terms of their abilities in comparison to Yin's own. But she hunted them without thought. Cut them down like bugs beneath her feet. "I almost couldn't do it..." Why did she do it?

"In the instant before I struck, I felt..." He hesitated to speak. He was sure he sounded absolutely insane to her. She could only wish his description was as unfamiliar and foreign as a different language to her. "..I felt, almost _close_ to him. Like we were the same person..."

Yin wanted to close her ears. Why couldn't he have just killed that kid and felt nothing like she was suspecting? This was the last thing she wanted. She wanted him to dismiss it as just another kill and prove that her were feelings strange and peculiar, and that once she had gotten into the habit of serving Father, her self hatred would become alien to her. She wanted him to tell her it wasn't even worth talking about, maybe then she could easily convince herself she had merely let her nerves get to her. She didn't want to understand him, she didn't want to relate. But now she was powerless. She couldn't open her mouth to stop him despite desperately wanting this to end.

"He was so scared, it made me scared too..." He didn't have to say it. Yin knew he had feared himself in that moment. She wouldn't confront the feeling, but she had feared herself too as she ran through the dark of the woods. "...I tried to go for his neck, but I was so petrified... I stabbed him in the shoulder."

Yin remembered her strike to the heart. Had she been more precise, he probably would've died instantly.

"Sometimes," He admitted almost reluctantly, "...I can still remember the way he screamed from it..." He looked to her for reassurance, but her eyes were distant, like she was purposefully pushing away from him. He held her closer, if only to squeeze the comfort out of her in a way. He wondered if something happened while she was away, but he didn't know how to bring it up. He was often overcome with the desire to help others, especially her... but a lot of his efforts fell flat of no one's fault but his own. And when he landed Yin in Alucricity, the days that slugged on before her departure were torture. He'd put her in danger, and he had to watch to her suffer in bottled fear. She was so far away then, yet she still reached for him in her silent way. She would barely talk to him, but her eyes begged for him to stay with her. He felt so lucky that Alucricity turned out to be a safe haven for her.

"...I didn't think about it until a while after it happened," His mouth continued without his mind. "..but I still wondered who he was..."

In that instant all her thoughts and nearly repressed memories of those came back her. She remembered how their bodies crumbled beneath the force of her might. How she felt their fear and desperation just as clearly as Hei had with his own kill. She didn't know what she'd gotten herself into until the exact instant she killed that young girl. She hardly knew what she had done, but even in that moment of intensity, she understood their lives held more value than her mission. But the deed had already been done, and there was no way to turn back the clock. How could she live with herself if she'd committed such a horrible crime and failed Father in one fell swoop?

Just as Hei did, Yin too remembered that small boy's howl. She could feel his fear translate into her and she had no time to think of anything else. Uncomprehending, she didn't know who to direct the fear to. But when she looked back on the memory, she was the one who deserved to fear and horrified of. She felt nothing but blind terror and could only think of the mission that had been asked of her. She tried to numb herself but the horror still leaked through. Her hands lost their steadiness and the boy's futile defense only made things worse.

Some nights when she lied awake in the bunker, she thought of them. She wondered what they would've become if it weren't for her. They were so much like her, confined by the barriers placed before them. Desperately seeking ways to stay one step ahead of the fray. They were so young, it was clear they were doing their best to adapt to this hell the world had become... just like Yin had been as she tried to break down the walls in her own mind. When she couldn't quell herself back to sleep, her mind would undoubtedly wonder to the sister that boy had been so worried about. She convinced herself that he was lying. That it was nothing more than a ploy to save his skin. _'Even if she is real, she'd be a sinner...'_ She'd chant in her mind whenever she found herself believing. _'Father would have her killed..'_

"...Even now, I-"

"Stop." Her voice was quiet, but it held a harsh edge that silenced him immediately.

"..What...?" He spoke after his shocked silence had passed.

"Just stop Hei," Her voice was sharp and ready to shut him down. "I don't want to hear anymore..."

"I- uh..." Feeling vulnerable and attacked, he decided to simply drop the conversation. "...Okay, That's fine." She sat up, and Hei feared that she was poising herself to leave. Confusion clouded his mind as he wondered why she was acting this way. Though he was beginning to feel very hurt, he didn't want her to go. He'd been alone for too long, and he was so worried for her all that time. He hadn't realized how deeply the feeling could dig into him.

"...I'll make us dinner," Hei offered, hoping it would keep her there just a bit longer.

"I..I can't," Yin didn't want to admit that she couldn't eat anything outside of Alucricity supervision. Shira told her it was to ensure that no one got poisoned, and Yin had believed her at the time. So why was she so ashamed of it now?

Hei sat in silence, wondering what he could be doing wrong. "It's...okay if you're not hungry,"

"I'll clean up a little more... so we...have room to sleep...?" Hei asked. His voice a mask, but if Yin hadn't known better, she would think he was getting a bit desperate.

Yin turned her head away from him. Hei felt panic rise in his abdomen as he realized that she wasn't budging. Mustering up the courage to reveal just an inkling of his emotions, he pressed his fingertips against her turning cheek, pulling her face to look at him. "Yin I... I'm sorry," He hadn't meant for his vulnerability to pour out so obviously.

Yin felt a pinch of guilt at his words, but it wasn't enough to shake her mind from the horrors of her own first murder. Yin looked downwards. Though she was blind she was usually pretty good at training her eyes on the source of whatever sound she was meant to be focusing on. It made people more comfortable around her and often times confused them, so she didn't usually have to explain her blindness or suffer through unnecessary coddling. But this time, she looked away from him, wanting more than anything to pull away from him. To escape from Hei's reality. The reality that validated hers.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you that story... I-I just..." Hei's voice shook a little, and he though could hide it slightly between words, but it didn't matter. Had Yin been able to hear the hurt in his voice, it would be enough to pull herself out of her dark thoughts. But his feelings were mute compared to the screams that roared in her mind. "...I guess I just needed it... and I... I thought you needed it too..."

At the moment, those words couldn't be more untrue. Making her relive the worst aspect of Alucricity, forcing her to face that she had gained a terrible memory with them, that was the last thing she needed. Suddenly, she was pulled against his chest.

"I've never told anyone about that before...it doesn't scare me anymore but... I still feel so sick when I think about it..."

His arms were wrapped so tightly around her. He squeezed her closer, hoping her form would bring him back down to earth. She was usually the only thing that kept him tethered. She was constant, calming. He could always turn to her, and even if she didn't understand exactly what he was going through, she knew what he felt. So why did she feel so unreal now? So unlike herself? He wanted to hold onto to the feeling of her presence. There was still a sense of herself just beneath her skin. When he held her closer, he could feel all those nights under the stars, just above sleep. When she'd moan that she had to go, but made no move to leave. He would take her as far as he could, but they were still meddled together. He would hold onto that feeling until their next meeting, where it would be renewed. But this time, she left for months! He needed to feel her again. Especially after he'd just laid himself bare for her alone to see.

"Yin, I need... I need to know you support me on this," This time, Hei couldn't hide the hurt in his voice. "I know this sounds so wrong..."

Yin didn't know how to tell him this was impossible. To support him on this would mean acknowledging her identical feelings. It would mean admitting to the killer within her. The killer that was willing to cut down children, to numb the greater part of Yin that she worked so hard to regain just for the simple goal of following orders. It would mean that obeying Father was dangerous, that he couldn't protect her from the things in the dark. From the things _inside_. To Yin, this was impossible to convey, so instead she just said, "I have to go,"

"No Yin! Please..." His words caught in his throat. "...please stay. Stay here with me tonight..."

His words were so compelling, so full of need. They were thick with the promise of a silent refuge from the world. But it wasn't the world she needed protection from. She needed to be shielded from her own ravenous thoughts. She needed a safe haven from the guilt that was so close to eating her away. But she confused the enemy. To her, it was Hei who was driving her to this guilt, not her own actions. She had a family who loved and cared for her. They were there when she mutilated those children. They knew what she'd been through and they rewarded her for it. Though she wanted to reach out, to address the memories clawing away at her, it seemed all was forgotten in their minds. And Yin was sure it was for the best. They were teaching her to let go, that it was time to move on. Hei wasn't at fault for being unaware of what happened at HQ, but Yin still held confused resentment toward Alucricity and herself that she didn't know how to express.

"I have to go," She repeated irritatedly. She stood and he grasped her wrist loosely.

"...Yin please, just stay..." He begged. "That's all I want Yin, just stay here with me..."

She refused to face him, her passive aggressiveness hurting him in ways words couldn't explain. She wrenched her wrist from his with little effort and walked away from him.

"Goodbye, Hei." Her voice mimicked the same kind of coldness Shira's held on that fateful night.

And so she left him there on his knees, his begging eyes disbelieving, and hurt beyond belief. She wouldn't understand what she'd done that night until after she'd left him the moment he'd needed her most.


	23. Chapter 23

Yin burst into Rinkai's room that night. The long walk gave her a little too much time to think, lighting her heart ablaze with anger. He jumped in surprise at the sound the door thrashing open.

"Yin!" Came his breathy yell. Excitement and joy filled his heart as soon as he realized it was her. That is, before he noticed her enraged expression. He frowned in frightened apprehension. "What's-"

"Why didn't you say anything?" She didn't need to yell, her voice already filled with a harsh venom.

"I- What...?" He questioned.

"You were recruited before I was," Her voice raised slightly. "Why didn't you tell me what they'd make me do!"

Rinkai was silent for a moment, before deciding it's be best to try and salvage the situation before answering her.

"Yin, you love it here!" He approached her, his hands grasping her's. " _We_ love it here. I know you'd do anything to stay-"

Yin ripped her hands from his. "How could you keep quiet about this?!"

"I couldn't just let you throw your future away!"

Yin gave him an incredulous look laced with anger. She wondered when her future became any of his business.

"Come on Yin, did you really think you'd change your mind if I told you?" His voice grew steady. So sure of what she felt. "I know how badly you wanted this."

"Is that why you weren't there to prepare me for my mission?" She snapped. "Did you even help take care of me after?"

Rinkai lurched back, the words caught in his throat. "I-I wasn't there before because...because you didn't need me then! You had Shira and Tanai,"

"Did you know I'd be drugged? _Twice?_ " Yin stared back at him, angrier than he'd ever seen her before. Rinkai stood in silence, unsure of how to respond. He couldn't deny that he was aware of what they were planning to do to her. But he went along with it anyway, out of fear of her having second thoughts. There was no question that he had developed feelings for Yin, so the last thing he wanted was for her to leave Alucricity. Especially since he knew there was no place safer for her, not when running from the Syndicate. But something in him was more perturbed by the thought of her going back to Hei. So he put his feelings over the possible doubts she'd have if he'd warned her. In an effort to keep them bound, he made the conscience decision not to tell the whole truth. And now he was paying for it.

He could see her rage escalating the longer he stood there in silence. So he said the first thing that came to mind, hoping it would help. "I made sure it wouldn't kill you..."

Yin grunted in dissatisfaction and irritation. Storming out of his room, she returned to her section. She plopped down her bed, ignoring Shira's knowing eyes and the body language that spelt of openness. Her mind shifted back to her behavior at Hei's apartment. Looking back on it, she realized how cold she was toward him. The tone of her voice was so harsh that the memory alone was enough to make her flinch. As she lied there face down in her bed, she could hear every shake in his voice, she could taste the thick emotion coming off his tongue. It was at that moment she understood that his story, the one that was so alike her's was just as personal to him as her own experience was. Why she couldn't see that earlier baffled her. She was one of the select few that Hei expressed emotion to. The fact that she see any other side of his was a rarity in itself. How could she take that for granted? Looking back on how she'd left him, she could feel the daggers she left in him return to rip through her.

Finally processing that Hei was opening up to her and that he was probably quite vulnerable at the time, Yin felt a guilt unlike that of which she'd ever known. _"Yin, I need... I need to know you support me on this,"_ She completely snubbed him. She turned her back on him when he needed her most. Though Hei relied on her for a lot of things, Yin couldn't think of a single reason for him to need her around. In her mind, this was the one instance where he needed her, her only chance to prove herself useful to him, and she failed. It didn't take long for Yin to convince herself that everything they had, the connection they'd worked for, the trust they'd achieved, was lost now. Why would he rely on her after this? She couldn't be trusted with his feelings, with his secrets. They weren't even partners anymore, there was nothing binding them now.

Yin felt tears slip from eyes as she realized that probably lost one of the first few people to genuinely care about her in years. Her thoughts only grew darker as she convinced herself of the feeling of hatred he must hold for her now. She could think of nothing besides what a terrible person and partner she'd become. Hei'd killed time and time again, and his first kill was so alike her's, but he'd never shunned the innocent people in his life because of it.

"Aiona," Shira soft, slender hand came to stroke her back, her voice ushered a calm the would not come for Yin. "It's okay my little snowflake,"

Yin's eyes widened and the tears only poured out faster. That was the same nickname her mother had given her. Shira's voice practically echoed the soft sweetness her mother's voice carried. It reminded Yin of a time before all this. A time when she was the ever stubborn girl who resented comfort or support of any kind. But when her mother knew she was needed, she'd call in her soft and ever soothing voice, _"On silti_ _pikku lumihiutale, olla vielä."_ _Be still my little snowflake, be still_. Somehow whenever her mother called out to her in such a manner, her nerves would come to calm, and she would resign to the warmth of her mother's arms.

Yin was astonished at how Shira's voice mimicked her mother's so perfectly. It forced Yin to jump into Shira's open arms without thinking. Yin didn't think something so distant, so forgotten, could still be her weakness.

"I know things look rough now, but it'll all work out in time." Shira stroked her back and Yin soaked in her warmth.

"I was so mean to him!" Yin cried. "He was just tried to open up to me and I lashed out at him!"

"I know it seems like he must hate you now, but I'm sure he's more than willing to forgive you," Shira began running her fingers through her hair. "I bet he wants to apologize to you instead."

"That's not true," Yin moaned allowing her sadness to overcome reason. "He thinks I'm terrible..."

"If you tell him how you feel, then he'll understand why you said what you said," Shira pulled away from Yin just enough to look into her eyes, their arms still encircled around one another. "Even if it seems harsh to you now."

Yin buried her head and Shira's chest once again. "I can't..."

"Hey," Shira detangled herself from Yin. "Let me show you something..."

Opening up the closet, Shira reached up to a shelf above the hangers. Pulling down a potted plant she presented it to Yin, who in turn, presented her confusion.

"It's an Ascensia flower." Shira returned to the bed and held it between them. Yin studied its thick stem and the other seemingly separate stems that coiled around the base. It was so large in width that Yin couldn't wrap her hand around it all the way. The enclosed flower head was bigger than her fist, even before blooming.

"What was that doing in the closet?" Yin asked, now realizing the oddity of its placement there.

"You know even some of the most world renowned botanist mistake this for a root of some kind," Shira continued, disregarding Yin's question for the moment. "In some instances it gives off the appearance of death for years to come. Most people give up on it before even the flower head has a chance to grow, let alone bloom."

"-But my mentor, he told that in times of crisis, this flower is a beacon of resilience. No matter what position you put it in, if you dedicate yourself to it and keep the faith, it'll survive." Shira's eyes shined with a distant glee. "He said it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Once it blooms it'll stay that way year round."

"Have you ever seen it?" Yin asked in wonder.

"No, never." Shira smiled longingly. She turned back to Yin. "But until this one blooms, I'll have to watch you spread your petals before it."

Yin looked up in awe at her.

"You have to be honest with him and yourself about your feelings. At the very least, I know you can handle that. I've seen you make it through things most people wouldn't be able to handle."

"Do you really think so?"

"You and the Ascensia are intertwined." Shira looked down at it with great admiration. "It's a living, growing representation of your struggle. That's why I put it in the closet before we left to see Father."

Yin gasped. "It's been in there all that time?"

Shira nodded. "I left it here for seven months without water, sunlight, or even a change of soil. But it's even stronger than when I left it. I can already tell it's been hurt, but it's healing, and it's stronger because of it."

Yin could've sworn she saw it grow a little taller in that moment.

Shira wiped the tears off Yin's cheeks with her thumb and Yin hand held her hand there with her shoulder. "Just remember that there are bumps in all relationships, even between the closest of lovers." Yin's face flushed slightly. "But the Ascencia blooms through it all."

Yin's smile was soft, but bright. "I love you, Shira..." The two held each other for a moment longer, their heartbeats giving one another comfort. A sudden idea struck Yin.

"Can you do me a favor?"

* * *

Yin shifted her balance from one foot to the next. She gave three hesitant knocks, holding her surprise behind her back. She stared down unseeingly at her feet and as doubts crept their way back into her mind. But as she ran her fingers over her gift, she found the strength to reassure herself, if only for a moment. She could do nothing more than hope things weren't already broken beyond repair.

The door creaked open slowly as a shadow of his voice droned out. If you didn't know him he might've even sounded normal.

Hei tried to put on his best Li impression and prayed that it wasn't Huang at the door. He tried hard to put himself into the shoes of a happy go lucky exchange student with a jump start on life, but even he could hear the jaded exhaustion the black reaper was prone to feeling. "Hello-...?" Realizing who it was, he stared down at her so intensely that even she felt the need to look up at him with her blind eyes. _"Yin?"_

His hands poised themselves to reach out to her in a hug, but he hesitated, not at all willing to make the first move after what happened yesterday.

Yin pulled her surprise from behind her back and presented it to him with her arms outstretched and her head ducked down. She resembled a school girl confessing her feelings to a senpai through a love letter. "Here."

His tentative hands covered hers. His fingers trembled slightly against her skin and their pressure was feather light over hers. "A pot?"

"Can I," Yin hesitated. "Come inside?"

Hei opened the door fully and stepped aside, glad he wouldn't have to ask. Either way he didn't think he'd have the opportunity to do so soon, he was willing to beg if he had to. Yin noted that his place was much cleaner than before. She disregarded the fleeting thought that he might've been embarrassed.

"...Yin," Hei spoke after a long silence. "About last night-"

"-Will you plant this with me?" Yin asked with a nervous shyness, despite knowing Hei could never reject her. "I want us to do this together..."

Hei looked down at the soil filled pot in his hands. He placed it on the counter. "What's this about Yin?"

"It's supposed to represent resilience," Yin dodged his question. "I want it to be with us, so we can be strong too..."

 _"Yin,"_ Hei urged.

"I came to say I'm sorry Hei," Yin apologized, remorse leaking from her voice. "I'm _so_ sorry. I should've stayed with you last night..."

He stood there stiffly, the air tensing around him. "...you needed me and I just left you here-"

Yin's voice caught in her throat as he pulled her to him. His arms encircled her body, meddling the pair into one another. His chin hung past her shoulder and his hand pushed her head past his. His eyes squeezed closed. Taking in a deep breath and sucking in the sweet scent of her hair while he was at it, he told her, "It's okay Yin. I was never upset... just, _confused_."

It was at the sound of his utterly lost voice, his desperation, his futile willingness to right whatever wrong he had done, the sound of the malcontent that Yin had been feeling so often recently, that she was able to spill all her feelings. She told him all about the task father had asked of her. She confessed all her feelings about the kids and how they changed her. She told him of how she fears that her horror toward killing makes her unloyal to Father. She even told him about the relentless training she went through living in the bunker, and the ruthless missions that ensued. She said nothing of the drugs, not ready to reveal all her secrets quite yet. Every now and again Yin would feel Hei's understanding gaze on her, and she'd feel the strength to continue telling her story.

Of course Hei wasn't completely accepting of this new revelation. His concern for her unbridled, and he wasn't afraid of showing it. "They're making you kill people, Yin? Are you sure you're okay with this?" His voice was awash with worry, but he didn't want to discourage her from continuing. He wished she'd told him sooner, he never would've let her stay with them if he knew what would happen to her.

"I don't like it, but we kill because we have to," Yin swallowed the lump in her throat. "The syndicate, and so many others are still after us...they're teaching us to protect ourselves, to get used to killing..."

Remembering that she was sent there just so the syndicate could get the jump on Alucricity, Hei understood the danger she must be facing. He knew well that in life like theirs, murder was often times envidiable. Still, he had hoped she could find a life away the one she led back at the Syndicate. The one he was still bound to, even now.

"Yin, you shouldn't ever want to kill," Hei's strong hands clapped over her shoulders. "The other members should appreciate that you love them enough to do it anyway."

Tears flooded Yin's eyes and unlike all those nights down in the bunker, she felt comfortable enough to let them slip down her cheeks with ease. "Haven't you ever felt like you weren't allowed to feel bad about terrible things you've done?" Her hands gripped at the back of his shirt as she pressed her body closer to his.

Hei thought back to his time in South America. How he lied about his feelings of horror toward killing to shield his sister from awareness of the evils they were committing. Despite her lack of emotions, he still felt the need convince her they were doing the right thing. That she wasn't a monster. He felt that if he loved her enough, he could somehow restore a part of her humanity. He couldn't let her know how horrified he was with what they'd done together. Sometimes, with her emotionless state, he felt the only way to express that was to remind her that there was nothing wrong with mass genocide they were committing. There were many times throughout their relationship when he felt trapped by his love for her.

"Of course I have, but you should never have to feel that," He pressed his lips to her temple. "...Or at least, not with me..."

Sliding her hands down his arms lightly, Yin laced her fingers with his, dropping the tiny bag that contained the seed in his palm. "Plant this with me," She breathed into his ear, their bodies pressed tightly against one another.

He squeezed the seed between both their hands and let out a soft, "Okay," His body melting against hers.

And so they pressed the seed deep beneath the soil together. Their hands strong and certain of its future. She spent the day telling him all about what it meant to her and how it could survive anything. He was incredulous of course, but she told him he'd have to help her prove it if he wanted to see the impossible. And when nightfall fell, she simply asked,

"Can I stay here tonight?"


	24. Chapter 24

Yin awoke that morning with her body pressed tightly against a sturdy chest. Her legs entangled between another more muscular pair. Strong arms encircled around her, their warmth spurring on the heat pooling inside her. As her grasp on consciousness grew more coherent, she could feel her arms wrapped around his neck. His chin planted against the top of her head, and despite it being nearly impossible, she could practically feel his contented smile behind her.

 _'Hei?'_

She couldn't help but compare this moment to the one she spent with Rinkai. He'd held her just the same, his grip was strong, but nervous. As if he feared to let her go. Like she'd vanish, and he'd come to find she never really existed at all. Yin hasn't realized it then, but she could tell he was conveying an impassioned expression of an endearment reserved just for her. Yin had a pretty good guess of what it might've meant to him, but she couldn't be sure. And she didn't know how she felt about it, so she wouldn't ask.

But she could tell Hei was giving off some of same the signals, and yet, she couldn't find it in herself to be bothered. She hadn't woken up with the misplaced awkwardness she felt with Rinkai. She didn't know what it was, but something about this felt all too natural. She couldn't help the life that bubbled beneath her skin whenever he was intimately involved with her. Or the dangerous feelings they stirred within one another. Their closeness, their connection, it felt forbidden to her. She fought off the idea that maybe she liked that about their relationship too.

The feel of his steady heartbeat just above her own and the sleepy calm of that perfect morning completely mellowed her mood. Forgetting herself for a moment, she pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat in a chaste kiss. His chin pressed deeper into her head and she was certain a large teeth revealing smile had spread over his face. He lowered his head to place a kiss on her forehead, the smile never leaving his lips.

"Morning, Yin," His voice was so deep, and sweet beyond recognition. He squeezed her a bit tighter, his fingers weaving through her hair for a moment before sitting up. "I'll make us breakfast."

Waking up fully at the sound of his voice, Yin realized what was happening. She jolted slightly, not having enough energy yet to jerk away from him. "...I stayed here last night?"

"Yeah," Hei replied. His eyes bleeding bliss and a soft smile leaking the warmth he felt inside. "It was great..." He spoke the last part under his breath.

Yin's heart rate spiked. _'I didn't go back home last night?!'_ She wasn't sure if she were allowed to just go out and spend the night somewhere without telling anyone. No one knew where she was, and she didn't know how the rules would change now that she was a member. Before her status was official she felt a bit more comfortable about leaving to see Hei, but Alucricity's hold on her seemed a bit more restricting now.

Sitting up on her knees, Yin stared down at her lap. "I really have to go,"

 _"Yin,"_ Hei argued. But then he felt a slight hesitation creeping into him as he remembered all they talked about last night. He understood that protocol was getting strict there, and though he couldn't be sure what they were doing over there, he wanted to believe Yin when she told him they were just protecting her. Hei knew well of the multitude of enemies Alucricity was gaining, and the likelihood of her having to fight was very probable. Besides, they were supposed to be her new family, her home, her safe haven. She wasn't meant to be with him, she had a life to get back to. They were on two different sides of the spectrum now, and he would just have to learn to deal with that. "Are you.. are you sure?"

Yin nodded her head reluctantly. She was surprised at how badly she wanted to stay. She wasn't as surprised by the guilt she felt at wanting to be here with Hei and not back at Alucricity, already used to the feeling.

"At least let me feed you first," Hei offered, wanting to cling to her presence a little longer.

Every logical fibre in Yin's mind told her it'd be fine. That nothing bad could possibly come from breakfast with Hei. But she just couldn't forget the way things were with food back at Alucricity. They weren't allowed to eat anything outside of their concentration, unless on a permitted leave. She was told it was to prevent poisoning, but Yin trusted that Hei wouldn't poison her. She knew there was no way anyone would find out if she ate something, but there was still an underlying fear that they'd find out. Like all her secrets would eventually be uncovered. She couldn't count how times she found out they knew things about her she didn't think possible without her word of mouth. And though she couldn't be sure of what punishment she'd be given, but she feared it without the knowledge.

"I'd better not," Yin stood, feeling linen on her skin and air on parts she was sure her dress had initially covered. Feeling the fabric of her clothes and the buttons littered along it's length, she realized what she must've been wearing. "-Is this...?"

Warmth gathered in Hei's cheeks. A characteristic he usually reserved for Li Shengshun. He mentally scolded himself for showing such a trait outside of his persona. "...You didn't have anything, so I let you borrow it," A pink hue colored Yin's cheeks. Hei couldn't stop himself from finding it completely adorable. Though he desperately wished he didn't.

She found her clothes folded neatly with his own. Together, they both denied how homey it seemed. She changed, ignoring how his scent clung to her skin, along with the warmth spurred from it. She was at the door far too soon for either of their liking. But of course Hei wouldn't let her go without a goodbye. His arms like a blanket of warmth, wrapped around her. Yin could still feel the sweetness from their pleasant awakening pouring into her as they held each other. He let her go, and Yin figured he was done, but Hei wouldn't let her off that easy.

With one arm still around the small of her and the other moving up to cup her cheek, he tilted her head upward. Her eyes widened and she stared up at him. Looking deep into her eyes, Hei came to the conclusion that in exchange for her blindness she could see directly into his soul. Her mouth parted slightly in desire at the feel of his breath nearing her. He pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth. He pulled away for just a second, if only to smother her with the heat of his now parted mouth. The round wetness of his tongue teased her in a way she never knew he was capable of.

Nudging her against the wall with a soft push, he shrouded her jawline with soft bites and pecks. Each touch of his lips conveyed underlying sultry passion he'd never shown her before. As well as the longing that was already developing in his heart at the thought of her leaving so soon. Yin clutched the back of his shirt tightly and instinctively pulled her body closer to his. She felt heat building in her cheeks as a soft blush colored her pale skin. She could nearly taste his heat against her as well, and she wondered what his reddened face would look like.

She knew what he was doing, he was coaxing her into coming back as soon as possible. Ensuring that she wouldn't stay away for months without saying a word, nor that she'd be too closed off to enjoy her time with him. Though there was an obvious desire lying behind his affection, she merely interpreted it as a method to convey the turmoil she'd put him through. Still feeling a bit guilty about the way she'd acted and the long months she'd left him behind, she indulged in the searing heat of his lips anyway. She didn't know if she'd be able to pull away, even if she was sure he were expressing his genuine feelings. Even if she was sure that _this_ being the outcome of his true feelings was wrong. She questioned whether she'd be able to pull away from him even then.

Hei pulled away from her, his breathing a bit heavier than usual. Both hands came upon her shoulders as his husky voice called out to her. "Come back soon, okay?" He urged, only further proving her point.

"I will," Yin's hands found their way to Hei's chest. "-I promise."

As she left, Hei looked back at the flower pot on the window sill. Though he doubted it really was the magical flower Yin described it to be, the fact that she'd brought it for him, that she was planning to grow it with him, that she was willing to pour as much of herself into its development alongside him, it made it easier to believe that there was still a piece of her with him. Even when she was forced to leave his side. When she left to embrace a reality considerably better than his own. The same reality that had somehow left him feeling more trapped than he'd ever thought imaginable.


	25. Chapter 25

"The Syndicate's asked about Yin again," Huang's gruff voice sent destructive ripples through the air, disturbing the peaceful atmosphere. He added sarcastically, "I wonder why they haven't caught on yet..."

He stared straight at Hei. Hei refused to make eye contract. " _Anyone_ have any idea why they haven't ordered us to go claim her?"

"Just drop it Huang. She's gone now, it doesn't matter." Hei's voice was steady and curt, ending the argument as if it were nothing more than simple conversation he had brought to a halt. But Huang wasn't having it.

"Where were you this weekend, Hei? Why couldn't I get a hold of you?"

"What I do during my free time is my business." Hei remained strong, showing no sign of faltering on his part.

Despite having little manipulation, Huang grew extremely irritated. He felt a surge of resentment flare up within him. The fact Hei was being so nonchalant about what Huang knew he was doing, enraged him. "Well being able to contact you at all times is _my_ business! Maybe if you spaced out your meetings with Yin, I wouldn't be having such a hard time taking care of shit around here!"

Hei's eyes widened in surprise. _'How'd he-?'_ "Huang, stop. You have no clue what you're talking about." Anger sparked in Hei as well. His voice held an edge that diminished the need for yelling.

Huang felt his rage buckle down Hei, its intensity far greater than it'd ever been. Ever since Shihoko's death, he'd been looking for any reason to lash out at contractors. As if to give his actions more of the meaning that was fast slipping away. Whenever he doubted the choice he'd made, he'd force himself to remember what they were, what they were supposed to be. Looking into the cold dead eyes of the contractors he surrounded himself with, watching as they ruthlessly eliminated each other as if on instinct, he knew that he was more right than ever.

He knew what Hei was doing. He had seen it with his own two eyes. This _relationship_ he had with Yin, it was all smoke and mirrors. It had to be. After years of working with him, Huang knew well how easily his Li persona could fool. It would take even less effort so simply fake emotion without having to fabricate a whole new persona. He couldn't be sure what his motive was, but he was sure Hei was merely manipulating Yin. To Huang, that was the only reason for a contractor to emote. The situation Huang had created in his mind seemed eerily familiar to the one he'd experienced with Shihoko. Seeing Hei fake the feelings that seemed so genuine to the naked eye... it made him sick to his stomach.

Though it was illogical, even from a human's perspective, Huang had stalked the couple, as if he'd had a personal vendetta against them. He'd watched their every move, ever since Yin had left the Syndicate he knew there was something going on between them. Forgetting that he viewed Yin as emotionless as well, he acted as if she could be just as heartbroken as he was. He had placed himself in her shoes, finding a way to latch onto some form of his past in order to turn back time. If could just do things over, he could prove that contractors were incapable of supporting anyone other than themselves. No matter how drastic the measures. No matter what circumstance, they were only looking out for number one.

"Stay _away_ from that doll Hei," Huang spoke through gritted teeth. "She's not apart of this team anymore, and I forbid any and all contact with her!"

Hei scoffed, but said nothing. Of course there was no way he was going to heed Huang's warning, but pushing this argument any further wouldn't accomplish anything. Huang was clearly hung up on something, and there was no point in fighting when he was like this. Hei knew well how illogical humans could be. Though he was finding that he too was growing more and more illogical as the clock ticked on.

* * *

When Yin returned home that day, she stood face to face with the back of Shira's head. Usually whenever Yin came home Shira would turn to greet her, or at the very least acknowledge her presence verbally. But Yin could tell from her stance alone that she was in for a bad time. Shira stood tall, her back a little too straight. Though her aura seemed pleasant, and maybe even approachable, there was a cold tint to it that spelled danger. Yin had seen her like this before, but this time, she didn't know what to expect. She usually had some idea of what was going on whenever Shira was like this, but now... she had no idea what she could've done wrong.

"I -um," Yin hesitated, her nerves already getting the best of her. "I'm back..."

"...So, where have you been?" Shira asked. Though her tone gave away that she already knew the answer.

"I- well..." For a second, Yin pondered whether or not she should lie to her. She feared her reaction despite knowing she did nothing wrong. "...I was at my friend's place. You know, my old partner..."

Yin felt bad about calling Hei her 'old' partner, despite them both believing their partnership transcended their involvement with the Syndicate. It was as if the slight alteration of their relationship would hurt him somehow. But it was the only way she could adequately describe her relationship with him to other people. Claiming they were just friends seemed too hollow of a word to her. And she didn't know if the strange feelings she felt with him validated another title for them. Or if he could ever see her any other way.

"I see..." Shira's voice was a perfect neutral, hinting at nothing about her feelings. "Have you spoken to Rinkai lately?"

"Uh... not yet, no."

"So you've given the flower to your, _friend_ I take it?" Yin didn't know what it was about the way she said 'friend', but she knew she didn't like it.

"...Is that...okay...?" Yin's voice grew quieter.

Shira turned to her at last. With a warm smile on her face, Yin felt the cold edge she'd cast into the air diminish. But her eyes still held an odd passiveness that Yin couldn't quite shake off.

"Of course it is!" Shira encouraged. "This'll be even better for the two you since you're so far apart!"

Yin released the breath she was holding. "I'm glad you think so..."

"I'm gonna step out for a bit, I'll make dinner in a minute." Shira brushed past her, her behavior seemingly natural now. But Yin was still left to wonder what she'd done, and if Shira was mad at her for it.

* * *

Yin opened up the top drawer of her nightstand in response to soft beeping she heard coming from within its contents. She felt a blinking light on her skin and recognized the rhythm the Syndicate trained her to understand. Yin reached for the earpiece she'd forgotten, but flinched back at the last second, hesitating. Anyone could be on the other end of that line. Huang might've been waiting for her on the other end, just ready to bombard her with orders and demands to return immediately.

It could've been one of the many enemies both the Syndicate and Alucricity had. The fact that they were even able to reach her through this meant they might've known more about her than she was comfortable with. They might threaten her with the knowledge of her double crossing the Syndicate, and her original intent to double cross Alucricity.

Destroying this would be safer, its mere existence meant danger for her. It would bring the death of her and her people. Besides, if she was caught with it she was sure to be punished. This thing proved nothing but her betrayal. It could someone of a higher status from the Syndicate. Someone who could send out literal troops of contractors to come and kill her.

Or, it could be Hei.

He could be trying to reach out to her. To warn her, to save her. To remind her that there was still someone outside of all this that had her back. That he could trusted when she couldn't trust herself.

Thinking solely of him, Yin decided it was worth the risk.

Yin placed the miniscule thing in her ear, pressing down and sliding the device to the right to answer. "Y-Yes...?" Her voice was heavy with apprehension and fear.

 _"Yin?"_ Hei responded, a slight hint of worry slipping into his tone.

"Hei!" The weight in Yin's voice was lifted by her relief.

 _"Huang's onto us,"_ Hei warned. _"We're gonna have to lay low for a while."_

Yin's mood dampened a bit. She was hoping not to have to talk about something like this. She'd almost forgotten the obstacles between them. Up until now it had almost seemed as though they weren't so far apart. Like there was something keeping them connected. She didn't want him to talk to her about the Syndicate's impending threat, she wanted him to _really_ talk to her. Just like he does when they're alone together in his small snug apartment, or when they lied together beneath the stars. She remembered a time before she had chosen to stay. A time when she dreamed of being more than a doll, of being apart of this wild liberating world she never known before. And when Hei the warmth of their bodies and the calming familiar lull of the stars soothe him, he would let the small vestiges of the dreams he once had slip through the cracks of his tightly clenched fist, and into the open palm of Yin's mind.

Thinking back to the budding seed they were growing into a flower together, Yin hoped that maybe that would be enough. That it could bring back something in the large amounts of time they'd spent with each other. That something in the nights they shared would blossom between them again. But, understanding what that flower stood for, she knew it wouldn't be easy. She had to keep going, to keep fighting. As long she still cared about him and he still cared about her, there was a reason to keep this alive.

"I understand." Yin's voice rang out after a moment.

 _"I'll call you when the coast is clear, until then, We shouldn't have any further contact."_

"I- ...okay." This was a bit harder to hear, but she was sure it was for the best. Being safe was better than getting caught.

 _"Good._ _Make sure no one catches you with this, destroy it if you have to."_ Hei hung up, finding no words left to say. He wished he had easier news to deliver, or at the very least that he had a softer goodbye to give her. But he knew the simple desire of such a thing was an anomaly amongst his kind. There was no reason for him to want to express any type of endearment to her, all he needed to do was convey the information and get on with his day. The fact that they were keeping in touch alone was illogical, this was clearly bringing nothing but danger. And yet, he was still doing it.

He was protecting Yin despite the possibility that it could get them both killed. He'd let her stay at his apartment despite knowing how badly risks were magnified. He didn't understand why or what that strange flower meant to her, but he agreed to grow it with her anyway. He was willing to accept that emotion was returning to her, but he wasn't sure if could understand what was happening to him. Or even the possibility that the same thing was happening to him. Remaining logical was the only way for him to keep a lid on the feelings that might burst from him and spiral out of control.

* * *

Walking ever so slowly, Shira approached his doorway and leaned against it. Her eyes trained forward as she cleared her throat to alert him of her presence. He glanced at her for a moment, but he couldn't bare to look for too long. Her energy was heavy, demanding. The threatening darkness she was emitting engulfed the whole room, stilling him.

He felt her intense stare rip through him. He stared down at his lap, but her eyes seemed to pierce his despite this. His body refused to turn to her, but he could still feel the deepening frown burrowing into her skin as if it cut into his. He shrunk into himself, his head lowering between his shoulders.

Shira tapped her wrist with her index finger, warning him of the time that was fast running out. She turned away and disappeared from the doorway. His hands gripped at the bed sheets under him.

Rinkai felt a shiver course through him.


	26. Chapter 26

"...Yeah, but what if it's just a tactic to make it easier to poison us?" Tai explained. "I mean, we can't eat outside food, so either we eat here, or starve. -And they can put _anything_ in our food!"

After a few weeks together, Yin found it too difficult to continue having to talk _at_ the nameless girl, being unable to address her. Yin spent days listing off names to her, hoping something would strike her tastes. But when offered up Tai as a name, the small girl claimed that name felt the most familiar to her, like it had once been apart of her identity before all this.

Yin rolled her eyes from behind the young girl, her exasperated voice holding the mirth of laughter. "It's _not_ poison." Her voice faded slightly, "It's just a small dose of ketamine, it couldn't kill anyone."

"That doesn't make it okay, Yin." Tai's voice was awfully scolding for a child. "You shouldn't fine with someone being able to drug your food at any time."

Yin tightened the hair around Tai's braid. "Don't you ever get tired of being so skeptical all the time? It can't be good for your health." Yin teased. Tai turned to give her a look.

"I...I think, it takes the edge off." Yin's voice began to waver. "Besides, we can't lead anyone back to base and interrogation won't work if we don't have any info!"

"I doubt it'll help anyone besides the higher ups..."

"Okay first of all, the ketamine is used for the benefit of the _family_. The _whole_ family, not just one member." Yin enforced, her temper rising in a way she was not unfamiliar with when it came to the young girl. "And second of all, there _are_ no higher ups."

"Really? None whatsoever?" Tai baited.

"N-No, none." Yin cursed herself. She had nearly achieved the steadiness she was aiming for.

"Not even Father? Or the 'servants' that are constantly by his side?"

"That's different-"

"How?" Tai's voice grew serious. "There's a lot you don't know about what goes on around here...It's foolish to blindly accept what they tell-"

"What do you even know about Alucricity? I'm the one who's apart of all this! I'm the one who knows everyone, the one who's fighting with them! You won't even let me show you what it's like!" The words burst from the bubbling rage within her throat.

Yin seldom got angry, not like how she does when with Tai. She was still recovering from all those years of dollhood despite having regained the gist of her emotions. Even when she did find herself irritated, identifying and expressing it. She was prone to keeping it bottled up. Yin didn't want to admit it, but there was a large chance that she took out outside frustrations on Tai. However, there was also the factor that Tai was an expert at getting on Yin's nerves. Tai often times brought up questions that Yin did not want to answer. Questions with solutions that Yin simply could not accept.

Though Yin's raised voice was definitely something she'd have to get used to, Tai remained calm. "Don't forget that I've been here longer than you, Yin. I'm down here for a reason."

Yin told herself that Tai had simply observed Alucricity when they'd settled here and her paranoia had kept her isolated from them. She blocked out the idea of Alucricity members consciously putting her down here. There was no way anyone apart of this organization would do something that inhumane. It wasn't impossible that Tai had simply been here before this area was captured as Alucricity property. For all she knew, this place could've been some sort of bunker, or bomb shelter.

"I... I.." Yin's hands slowed to a stop. "I don't want to talk about..."

"Yin, I get it... it's fine... I don't even know what I'm talking about anyway-"

Yin's hands detangled themselves from her hair. "I'm sorry, I- I think I should go..."

Tai sighed, knowing she had a way of upsetting Yin. She didn't mean to, it had just been so long since she'd had someone freely express herself with. After weeks of apprehensiveness, she knew now that no punishment would be granted to her when she talked to Yin. There was so much she wanted to tell Yin, so many truths and possibilities she wanted to share. If Yin were to be her last human contact, she wanted to get the most out of it. "That's okay."

Yin ascended the cellar steps, feeling a little more than irritated. But her irritation turned to shock once she was met with Shira's masked expression. Her eyes were a bit wide, and her eyebrows were slightly. Not enough to looked surprised, but just enough to ask, _'What's going on? Oh wait, I already know.'_ Her lips pressed into a firm line, but she wasn't quite frowning just yet. Yin lurched back.

"...Um,"

"Aiona?" Shira's head tilted to the side. "What're you doing?"

"I was... walking, and I..." Yin took a deep breath. "...fell in...?"

"Oh! Are you hurt?" Shira stepped closer.

Yin could practically feel Tai trembling down in the cellar's dripping maw. "No I- I'm fine."

"...Well, I believe Rinkai has something to say to you."

"He does?" Yin questioned. Though she was still bit angry with him, she was glad for the distraction. "Take me to him then." Yin took Shira's hand and dragged her away from the cellar entrance.

Yin was by no means against Shira meeting Tai, but Tai seemed to regard everyone above with a cautionary fear far greater than the one she had provided Yin with. Yin felt it illogical for Tai to understand that Yin interacted with these people on a daily basis, yet still fear them despite trusting Yin. But when she looked into the wounded fearful eyes of that small child, she knew she'd have to respect her wishes. Yin figured her isolated nature had developed after being stuck down there for too long, so in an effort not to throw her completely out of her comfort zone, she complied in her request to keep their transactions a secret.

* * *

As soon as Yin approached Rinkai he rushed up to her, swallowing her up in a big hug. His hold was warming and much more genuine, so she numbed the vestiges of her anger and allowed herself to hug him back.

"Yin!" He cried. "I haven't seen you in days! You know how much I hate it when we fight..."

"Yeah," Yin petted his back softly. "I know."

Rinkai felt Yin's mood wavering and his own tone took a serious shift. "I know I wasn't there for you," He started. "I knew they were gonna do things that you wouldn't have been comfortable with... and I didn't say anything..."

Yin pulled away slightly to look at him. She'd never heard him sound so serious and apologetic. "Rinkai..."

"I let them take advantage of you if only to keep you here with me," His hand glided up her back and weaved its way into her hair. "I thought I was keeping you happy, but now I understand how selfish I was being."

"I'm sorry Yin," Rinkai apologized. "Could you ever forgive me?"

He pushed her head further past his shoulder as his chin cupped her shoulder perfectly. The gesture reminded her so much of Hei that she was all but compelled to forgive him. "Rinkai, it's okay I-" Her voice softened. "-I'm not really mad anymore..."

He let out a happy breath, and Yin couldn't tell if he were smiling or not. -That is, not until he pressed his grin against her skin. His puckered smirk pressed tightly against her neck, just under her jaw. The same spot Hei usually...

She sucked in a breath, not sure how she felt about this. His lips were soft and his touch oh so tender. He conveyed a certain sweetness that Yin could tell he'd been holding in for a while now. She hated to say that she was enjoying any of this. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words rushing through her mind wouldn't follow up.

His lips peeled away from her skin slowly. His nose traced the subtle carve of her jawline stopping beneath her ear. His warm breath stirred a soft heat in her stomach, for a moment, she forgot it was Rinkai who was touching her.

"I made us dinner," Rinkai whispered in her ear, his voice reaching a deepness she'd never heard from him before. The only response Yin could manage was a sharp intake of her breath. "I know, crazy right?"

He maneuvered himself behind her. His right hand low on her waist while his left cupped her hand, leading her.

As Yin sat before her meal, for the first time she felt apprehensive. And rightfully so after everything she'd been through. But she didn't want to be hung up on her fear of whatever foreign substance might be within her meal at the moment. Especially not after Rinkai's heartfelt apology. But she just couldn't seem to forget the conversation she shared with Tai down in the cellar. Still, she felt as if the right to caution had been stripped from her.

"Not hungry?" Rinkai asked, taking a bit of his own food. Yin watched intently as he swallowed down a whole mouthful, the gesture calming her nerves greatly. She looked down at her plate, and felt her stomach growl.

"N-No, it's fine." She took a bite. Then another. Then another. The couple laughed and ate merrily, soaking in one another's company once again. Hours passed, and Yin began to feel the world around her slow. Her mind was getting fuzzy, but she couldn't her finger on what was wrong.

It was the moment Rinkai passed out onto her lap that she realized she'd made a mistake.


	27. Chapter 27

Yin fought the grogginess of her mind as she felt consciousness return to her. The world around her was hard, and she moaned in protest. She felt the cold firmness of what she would come to find was the side of a dumpster on her back, and the bumpy roughness of the deteriorating ground within the alley she lied in scrapped at her legs. As she shifted in her spot, she felt a weight on her lap. Her senses were still a little weak, so she tried to feel what was against her. Her hands ran through the thick tresses of hair that she recognized as Rinkai's. She felt him shift and rumble as he moaned awake. She heard the same gurgled mumble as she felt a rough pressure pressing against the inside of her ear. She figured she was wearing an earpiece and waited for her mind to clear before listening.

 _"..._ _Your possible sacrifice is appreciated._ _Your goal is secure the section 3 of the mission board. Any and all inhabitants are trained professionals dedicated to their cover. Your scythe may be located in the empty dumpster behind you._ _Within your utility belt is a pouch containing miniature explosives. These bombs will be detonated remotely, be sure to complete your task in a timely manner in order to avoid danger. Your possible sacrifice is appreciated._ _Your goal-"_

Yin pulled the earpiece from her ear and tossed it toward her feet, the cheap metal crushing beneath her. Somehow, she felt great relief that the sound of the foreign voice. She was sure the sound of Shira carelessly exploiting the option of a gruesome sacrifice would've distracted her far too much to do this properly. As the pair came to their senses, Rinkai sat up and the two stood, still slightly disoriented. Yin could tell from the feel of him draped across her that he wore the same cage armored kevlar strewn uniform she sported. Yin turned and reached into the dumpster, which was indeed empty, save for the scythe within it. She grabbed it, avoiding touching the blade through her familiarity with the object.

Yin turned to Rinkai, addressing him. "You're not planning to fight, are you?"

"I picked my poison, and I'd rather be drinking it with you." Yin could detect the sweetness in his voice, but she felt irritation poke at her at what she interpreted as a reference to the drugged food. She felt the tingling heat of anger beneath her skin as she remembered just what got her here in the first place. He tricked her again...

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yin brushed him off, choosing not to let her nerves get the best of her. There was still a mission to take care of, and considering how paramount the security of section 3 was to Alucricity, she decided that was her priority at the moment. "But I know you're not ready for this."

"It doesn't matter, Yin. I have to do this-"

"You haven't had as much training as I have," Yin continued. "And you know how important this mission is..."

"It's either I get hurt out on the field, or I let you face this, drugged, disoriented, and _alone_ like you always do!"

Yin flinched as his words struck her. She looked down, taking a moment to process them. She hadn't realized he'd actually thought of what happens to her when she was forced to fight like this. Yin had always figured she was simply dismissed from his mind. Dismissed from everyone's mind. This was simply one of her duties and she had face them on her own just like everyone else does. She came to the conclusion that he'd kept secrets from her in order to avoid dealing with the inconvenience of her feelings.

"I meant my apology to you," Rinkai stepped closer to her. "I won't leave you hanging anymore."

Yin sighed, knowing this was inevitable. Still, she was glad he was willing to go so far to apologize regardless of what he had to do.

Yin turned and walked away, her passive energy giving Rinkai permission to follow.

* * *

Swinging down from the lower part of a rather impressive skyscraper, Hei squeezed a package to his side with his arm. His coat fluttered in the wind generated by his swing. His hair danced around in the wind, his mask slightly worn from the fight he'd just gotten out of. He was surprised he didn't end up in worse shape. The building had been heavily guarded due to the numerous government branches and the several officials who had began rising in status in the past few months.

But even with so much on the line for them, none of his adversaries had put up much of a fight. Many of them hadn't even bothered to use the weapons they were clearly armed with. Though Hei couldn't be sure if it were merely because his speed left them unable to draw.

Either way, he wasn't too keen on reading into these things. The only thing he knew was that he was grateful to be done with this mission. He was one step away from passing the package onto Huang and and not having to look at him for a couple days or so. But as his arch came closer to the ground, he felt the package disappear from his grasp. He looked down in surprise at his left hand. It happened in a flash, as if he were never carrying anything to begin with.

His mind worked through several possibilities, all of which coming down to a contractor. Scanning the area, he spotted her. _Amber._

He let go of his wire mid swing, dropping down with ease. He spun on his heels, turning to her as he stripped himself of his mask. He casted his rage filled glare at her, wanted her to see just what she'd done. She had a tendency to play things off and spread this friendly light air around her, no matter how dark and tense the situation may be. But not this time. He simply wouldn't let her. In the past he'd found it comforting, charming even, but now it was nothing more than obnoxious and insulting.

His mask crushed in his fist, his deepening scowl and harsh expression darkening further. "Amber!"

"Why so grumpy?" Amber laughed. Her being the only one who could when standing in the face of an enraged black reaper. "Oh! I'm sorry! Can I borrow this? I really should've asked first..."

Infuriated beyond beyond belief, Hei lashed out at her. He thrust his fist out at her, her nimble body dodging him easily. He swung at her repeatedly, his leg kicking out toward her abdomen. She moved like water flowing through his fingers. However, he did manage to swipe at her ankles, catching both her wrists before she fell. Though he in no way intended to spare her from any pain. " _Give_ me back that package!"

"Sorry, but the EPR's gonna need to keep this safe." Amber's tone was light, with a hint of mirth that made electricity pulse through Hei's veins. He itched to kill her. But he she still had the answers he needed. So he simply settled for slapping her with his free hand instead.

"What does the EPR have to do with this?"

"Sorry Hei, but I can't let the Syndicate have this."

Knowing she wasn't going to cooperate, he reached for the package anyway. But before he knew it, she was behind him.

"This is what Bai would've wanted." Her tone grew serious. "I know what I'm doing."

Hei turned to face her, to lash out and tell her how empty headed she was. She didn't care about Bai. Or him for that matter. They were merely tools to be used to her disposal. There was no way she would know what Bai wanted. He was sure that if Bai were still around she'd be just as disgusted with Amber as he was. The words caught in his throat as he realized there was no point in saying them. She was already gone.

With the package.

Looks like he would have to deal with Huang after all.

* * *

Blood jumped out bodies as the heat within them spread throughout the air. Terror filled cries flooded Yin's ears and she found herself without solace away from the soul shaking sound. She reluctantly allowed herself to close her senses in order to drone out the noise. Yin grew wary of the mission within seconds after the bloodbath had started. She often times promised herself the she wouldn't let things get to this point. She would try to kill as humanely as possible, and if she couldn't... then she send for backup and let them handle it. She would tell herself that she'd be forgiven. That she was loved. But she always left room in her heart to go back on that promise. Never fully committing to it, and never acknowledging the value of keeping that personal oath to herself. Yin didn't know if it was her cowardice that held her back, or her fear of what would happen if she set herself free.

Yin traversed numerous buildings throughout the neighborhood, placing the minuscule bombs in their designated areas. She cut down all those who stood in her way, ignoring the fact that very few were putting up much of a fight. And when they did, no powers seemed to be involved. Yin forced herself to think back to the man's instructions on the earpiece earlier. _'Trained professionals dedicated to their cover, trained professionals dedicated to their cover-'_ Yin repeated the mantra in her head in order to keep herself focused and willing. They were all contractors. They were acting against Father's will. Anyone who threatened her family was the enemy.

Rinkai trailed behind her. Taking out very few of the assailants in his wake. He pitched in a few times to direct Yin on where to place the bombs, but other than that he played no other part in killing. He watched as Yin ruthlessly dismembered every adversary in her path. Their fragile bodies seemed to fall apart before her. She tore them apart like wet tissue, and her doll's nature made it look like she was exerting little to no effort at all. Which of course, only enunciated her victim's helplessness.

He felt a growing discomfort growing in the pit of his stomach. The seconds on the battlefield seemed to take hours to tick by. Every thrust of his knife, every tense of his muscles seemed to take all his strength. As he pulled the life from unknown bodies, be felt it taking something from him too.

Though things were agonizingly slow, something about the rush of faces, the multitude of screams that rushed together, and the thundering of fleeing feet made him feel like he was running out of time. Like there was something out to get him. Like he needed to do this to live, to breathe, to keep his heart beating. He felt like his life was on the line and this was the only way to save it.

They planted the bombs with a sense of urgency, willing themselves not to care what happens to the people who lived there, nor the ones they'd already slaughtered.

Kicking in the door of a rather sizable apartment, Yin stopped short, taking in the scene that lied before her. She struggled to withdraw her spectre, but her body wouldn't move. Three pairs of wide eyes stared up at her in shock, as the small family stilled due to her arrival. Her focus jumped between the soft but fearful eyes of the presumptive mother, the strong yet nurturing father, and small but obviously hopeful child.

It seemed like the perfect set up to her. A stable middle class family, a couple of loving parents to raise a girl who would grow to take on any challenge armed with her passion alone. The simple problems of her average life would come to mean the world to her. But only because her ignorance would leave her in the dark about what true pain was. But that future was in Yin's hands now. This child's fate was hers, but only if Yin would let her have it.

Yin panted as her mind drifted to things she didn't want to remember. To futures she'd taken thoughtlessly. Her dangerous mind wondered what made her future with Alucricity so much more valuable.

"Yin-!" Rinkai's breath hitched as he stared intently at Yin's stiffened body and her paling skin. Sweat gathered at her brow and Rinkai decided that this was getting too dangerous. He grabbed her arm and tried to pull her toward him. "Let's just, go couple floors up..."

Yin tugged her arm away from him. "No," She told him adamantly. "It has to be the foundation, and we have to eliminate all obstacles."

"Y-Yin! Wait!"

Yin thrusted her body forward, clearing her mind of any pity, restraint, reasoning, ridding herself of any humanity she may have had within. Leaving nothing but her orders. Leaving nothing but the dehumanizing description of the enemy.

She swung her scythe in a half circle, slicing through the father's torso and dismembering his left arm and head. She allowed her heart to pound in reaction to the adrenaline pumping through her. As her body reacted to the power of her weapon, she wasn't sure if she should be afraid or not. Even as it tore through bone, it never slowed. Everything it came in contact with was synonymous with paper.

The mother had little chance to scream, even as Yin was upon her. Forcing her scythe directly upwards, Yin sliced her completely in half, surprising even herself. Though her blade did curve slightly once it reached the bridge of her nose, cutting through the woman's eye instead. Even then, Yin had never cut up the length of a bone before, much less the thickness of a spine.

The gesture had been so intense that even Yin could feel her throat splitting, and the way the tear she had made in her skull sent tremors through the rest her body. Yin began to tremble as the scythe dropped from her hands.

At that point, the girl started howling at the top of her lungs. Her high pitched yell seemed to carry all throughout the building as Rinkai could hear people upstairs shuffling around in a dulled panic. He looked to Yin, his eyes resting on her stiffened body. She eyed the child fearfully, as if the girl had the power to kill the lethally trained scythe wielder.

Worry gnawed in his chest the longer he looked at her. He'd seen her look so afraid, so helpless before...

He couldn't understand her fear, but that didn't mean he wanted her to experience it. All he knew was that he had to finish this and get her out of there. He wasn't prone to killing children, but he was ready to take on the burden for her. He was ready to be there for her, to support her. Acting on his feet, he pounced on the little girl, digging his knife into her throat.

He watched Yin drop to her knees through the corner of his eye.

* * *

"This is it," Yin informed him, her hand reaching deep into her pouch. "This is the last one." She pulled out the final bomb, her fingers cupped around the bouncy-ball like sphere. She gave a deep breath, already far beyond exhausted with this mission.

"I think I see our final subpoint." Rinkai stared towards the park ahead of them. As they approached the area, for the first time, he was forced to take in his surroundings. Exotic flowers he'd seen before blossomed in colors he didn't think possible. Their stems sprouted from grasses so green and pure that no artificial color could ever imitate. A mixture of strong and vibrant trees along with those that bore healthy flowers stood rooted in the ground. He'd never such a variety of plant life in one place before. But most importantly-

He'd never seen something so beautiful before. He and Yin were alone here... had circumstances been different, he was sure he could've swayed her emotions to the level of intensity he possessed. He sighed as she tossed the bomb ahead of her. "Mission complete." He heard her whisper to herself. Feeling her exhaustion, he willed his thoughts to seriousness. Now wasn't the time.

They turned, making their escape from the beautiful landscape that they knew would soon be destroyed. Somehow, knowing that they were robbing innocent people of this place, a piece of the world that they'd known all their lives, a piece that most will never know, it weighed heavily on their hearts. Yin focused only on her feet pounding against the pavement. Her ears automatically tuned out the bomb's deep cry and Rinkai's howl of surprise, but she couldn't ignore the feel of fire on her back. Nor the realization of how willing Alucricity was to sacrifice her for a cause that was beginning to confuse her.


	28. Chapter 28

The pair returned home begrudgingly, somehow not wanting to face a family that would condone and congratulate their actions. Yin should've been happy. She'd just claimed section 3 for Alucricity, a mission that was regarded as crucial to Alucricity's development. From the moment she joined she knew that she wanted to give back to this community, that she wanted to repay them for all they'd done for her. They treated her like a person, and taught her to finally see herself as such. They'd put her on such a high pedestal despite knowing so little about her, and she all she'd ever wanted was to let them know how grateful she was to them. But she was the farthest from happiness she'd ever been. She felt like nothing more than a worthless doll. In fact, she felt more like a doll than she ever had been in her lifetime. Except now she was painfully aware of the hollow emptiness that consumed her.

Yin felt a sense of Deja vu as she recognized this feeling from her indoctrination ceremony. She had felt blessed to be apart of Alucricity, especially after everything been through to get there. But she was left to wonder if any of it was worth it. Was it her place to make any of the sacrifices she'd forced upon the innocent? What made her goals more important than those of which she'd smited? She'd already stolen the dreams of so many, and in such short time. She'd reaped the chances of numerous strangers, and even those who hadn't the opportunity to dream up their aspirations yet.

Even back then, Yin couldn't find it in her to truly be happy for herself. Yin feared that her regretting what she'd done made her too unwilling and ungracious to be apart of this community. So she tucked her of guilt and regret deep within, convincing herself that if she could be with Alucricity, all of her sins were worth it. Still, even if meant being secure with Alucricity, having the opportunity to fight and live with them, she'd done something wrong. Something unforgivable. And them congratulating her for it only stirred a conflict in her heart.

Though Yin would find herself surprised that this time, she'd be spared of gratitude as well.

Shira noticed the forlorn look on Yin as she returned and decided it best to envelope her in a large hug. "Welcome home," She squeezed tighter, frowning at Yin's limp arms as they failed to hold her back. Shira pulled away her hand beneath her chin as she pulled Yin's face up to make eye contact. "Hey, chin up champ. There's still more work to do!"

A great sadness flashed across Yin's eyes, only to emptied out a moment later. "We're not done?"

Shira's cheerful mood dampened at the sight of Yin's disappointment. "Well, no. We still have to work the land."

Yin's exhausted expression held a hint of disbelief in her stare. "We can't work that land! I just nuked it!"

"Nothing's impossible under Father's guidance," Shira said, guiding her back inside. "All we have to do is follow his orders."

Yin looked down, unable to meet her hopeful gaze. "I've already done so much, isn't there another way?"

"Yin," Yin noticed the sharp change in Shira's tone. Not to mention the fact that she couldn't remember the last time Shira called her 'Yin' and not Aiona. "You're being selfish."

Yin stilled, unbelieving. For almost a year she'd dedicated her life to this organization. She trained her body past exhaustion, she went on life threatening missions, she sacrificed her mental state as well as self worth, she even salvaged enough courage betray the Syndicate. All that for everything she believed about Alucricity. Hearing Shira say that... it made her reconsider everything she'd been through up until this point. She was forced to really think about what it meant to be apart of Alucricity, what it would take to stay there.

Yet at the same time, she felt ashamed. The woman who stood there only existed because of them. She'd come to them as a doll, a disposable spy for a syndicate that could never appreciate her. They treated her like a person, something Yin had never believed herself to be until they showed her how. She accepted their generosity and kind nurturing treatment in muted reluctance. They'd helped her gain the personal strength and even offered up their own security so she could leave the Syndicate and start a new life.

And she couldn't deny that the benefits of living here with Alucricity was a great improvement from the lifestyle she was once accustomed to. She could still remember the tight walls of her tobacco shop closing in on her, and the dampening darkness that settled in on her skin when the sun went down. They often times only paid her enough to to buy some cheap instant noodles. She'd had very few clothes, but she figured it was best at the time, what with having no place to put them anyway. And something in her had always longed to leave. Having too many belongings would only weigh her down.

But now, she had a whole room to herself. There were soft carpeted floors that she didn't have to sleep on. She had a fairly large bed with a soft mattress and all the room in the world to stretch her legs. Her comforter cradled her in a warmth she thought hadn't existed for dolls like her. She had closet full of clothes and she made sure none of were dark enough to blend into the shadows of the life she once had. Dark enough fade into the backdrop, to spend the rest of her life making herself smaller and eternally submissive. There was more space in her room then she knew what do with, and still had the rest of the house to roam in leisure.

She knew supplying her with all this couldn't've been easy. Privileges like these don't just come out of nowhere, there were people all over the community working at this lifestyle long before her. After everything they've done for her, she had to give back to them. She knew nothing in her life was free anymore, if she wanted to stay here, she would have to work for it. And if it meant staying with the ones she loved, she could accept that.

"What do I have to do?"

* * *

"...Well it's a pretty 'hands on' kind of job," Yin explained to the eager stranger.

"Yeah, yeah that's fine. But there's free housing included, right?"

Yin nodded her head yes and the man swiftly snatched up a flyer from her hands. He ran off into the distance, shouting his gratitude over his shoulder.

When Shira told her she would be recruiting new members, Yin was shocked. After all the months of backbreaking work she'd been doing, she hadn't expected to end up with such an easy job. Maybe this was Shira's way of being considerate of all the work Yin had done. And Yin couldn't help but find it immensely rewarding. She felt more and more like a true member with every passing second.

She was ordered to hand out flyers and inform the public of the work available at Alucricity. Yin wasn't entirely sure if that made the people she recruited members or employees. She didn't even know if they were getting paid in money. But she was sure that if they were anything like her, they'd love it there.

She'd enlisted numerous people into programs Alucricity was supposedly hosting. Some people needed serious convincing, and of course you couldn't get everyone. But sometimes it was as easy as striking up a casual friendship and her target was sold. She'd never heard of any of the activities being in action in all her time there, but she refused to let herself believe it a lie. She was sure there parts of the plan she wasn't in on. Maybe they were working on it. Though she never really had the time to confirm what the new members were doing. Once they were recruited she hardly ever saw them again.

Of course she knew better than to expect everything about her job to be all fun and games. There was still a lot of dirty work to be done. When times got tough, she was forced to resort to kidnapping. Yin often times had trouble finding a positive spin on this aspect of her job. Hearing their desperate cries and heartbreaking pleas made her question if this was worse than killing them. Some passed out in her hold in either out of fear for their lives, or the overwhelming realization of their inevitable fate. Others wriggled in her grasp, their struggles reminding her of the final moments of those that had fallen at the capable hands of a trained killer. At times, she felt glad that she never crossed paths with the ones she had taken against their will. But then she could feel nothing but guilt within her.

As usual, dealing with kids was the hardest part for her. In her heart and soul, she was strongly against it, but Shira insisted they had a large part to play. Though Shira had told her there were other benefits to their being in Alucricity, and she promised that no child would work the land. Whether she was stealing their parents away from them, or snatching the children up themselves, it always left a burning pit in her heart that often ripped throughout her entire body. She couldn't deny that there were times when she found herself in need of killing in order to keep herself from sliding even further down this slippery slope. Every now again, Yin was forced to face the reality that she was taking these children away from their homes. Not just the physical embodiment of a place that left them secure and sheltered, but the ones that resigned within hearts of those they truly cared about.

Yin could do nothing but hope they make peace with the new life they were being given and pray that they might someday find a way back home.

Yin figured she should head back to her designated area. She was meant to stay closer to Alucricity and stray from what could be seen as the Syndicate's territory. But day after day Yin found herself roaming the parts of Tokyo she found the most familiar. The area that had once been all she'd known. She didn't mean to, but it had become a habit of hers after a certain incident. It had started a few weeks into her job...

* * *

Things had just turned sour considering all kidnappings and murders she had to commit. And in all honesty, she wasn't feeling herself. She wasn't on duty then, but when Shira asked where she was going she claimed she wanted get some extra work in. Though Yin knew she was far too guilty to admit that she needed to get away for awhile and think things over away from the place that was beginning to suffocate her. She made sure to hide her eyes, knowing how much they revealed about her.

From there she wandered about listlessly, avoiding contact with all those around her. She felt a pull tug on her body, but her mind was too far away to register it. All she could do was let her feet carry her wherever they may. But when she snapped out of her reverie, she stood before her old tobacco shop. She couldn't help but peek. With her foot sunken into the puddle beside her, she tried to look into the store. The caged blinds Yin had never used now covered the window, hiding the shop from the rest of the world. It was clear this new doll liked her privacy, so Yin let her spectre dissipate, choosing not appear within the small rusty sink inside the tiny shack. Yin decided it was for the best anyway.

She could feel a presence across from her. It felt dark, heavy. Thick with a longing that matched hers. There was a numb loss within its depths, as if it were disappointed but it had been expecting this outcome long enough to settle with its fate. Then something like a pulse surged through them, and her. The immense weight of their darkness remained, but now a sharp realization coupled with muffled excitement tainted the aura she felt. She could still feel the longing, but something about it had been satisfied. Yin knew who it was without her spectre.

"Yin," His deep voice called, sunken but light at the same time.

"Hei," Yin wasn't expecting to find him there, nor was she expecting to be there either.

The two stood apart for a moment, neither saying a word as they both took in this anomally. Hei stepped closer, taking a good look at her face. The eyes that always seemed to hold a light brighter than that of his own, looked faded and worn. Her hair fell out of place and scattered from the braids that held them. Gravity's pull on her shoulders seemed much stronger than it was the last time he saw her. It was like she was being pulled down, ready to sink into the ground at a moment's notice. He was still new to the expressions she was beginning to reveal, so when he swallowed the appearance of her despondent countenance, he was thoroughly surprised at how much it weighed on him.

Hei approached her. With his body almost fully upon her, he placed both hands on her shoulders.

"Let's go home." He said as if such a place were shared between them. As if she belonged there. Hei nearly flinched after uttering those words. He hoped she would forget what the words implied, but he knew there was nothing he could do to take them back. And deep down, there was nothing in him that truly wanted to.

Yin never asked what he was doing out that night, or why he went to the tobacco shop in the first place. But she secretly liked to think that maybe something in his subconscious had sent him looking for her. She knew things were dangerous at that point, and they ran the risk of of getting caught by Huang, but maybe neither of them could stay away. Maybe he'd felt the same pull she had. Maybe he was just as glad to have stumbled upon her as she was. Unbeknownst to her, he liked to think the same.

She spent that night at his place, shrouded in his clothes and wrapped in his body. When she awoke the next morning, she found Hei making them breakfast. She wondered if he started early if only to rob her of the chance to deny him like she's done so many times before. Finding no harm in it, she let him have his way, turning to the sight of the odd flower. It was nothing but a miniscule stem at that point, the short base was thick but the tip was thin and frail, ever reaching out to the sunlight.

After looking at it for a long time, not only with her spectre but with her hands as well, she wondered if this was what Hei meant when he said 'Let's go home' the other night. If this small struggling thing they'd built together had somehow made this home. If their support of this little thing fighting for life, for light in its neverending darkness had somehow connected them enough to make this place a home. Yin wondered if her thoughts were too dangerous to linger on.

The two spent their morning and a bit of the afternoon together that day. Though Hei noted she was looking much less dejected than she had last night, her eyes still hadn't fully regained the light that he liked to bask in whenever he found that he just couldn't help himself. So he wasn't surprised when found himself telling her to wait as the kisses she shrouded his neck and jawline in grew more fleeting -a method of goodbye that Hei both feared and excitedly anticipated was becoming the norm for them. He pulled away from the lips that seemed to linger ever close his, and retrieved the plant from the window sill.

He placed the flower in her hands and she looked up at him in confusion. "Take it back with you," Hei explained.

"Why?" Yin questioned, wondering if maybe he didn't want to do this anymore.

"I want you to keep it for a while." His large hands covered hers.

"But-" Hei placed a finger to her lips, just as she was prone to doing.

"You said you wanted to grow this together didn't you? Now you get to keep a piece of me with you." His hand slid to her cheek. "Every time you see it, or feel it growing, you'll know that I'm with you."

Yin knew he didn't admire the flower as much as she did, but she like to think that it grew on him. That he was secretly offering up his own feelings toward the plant to help her. She gave him a smile, her eyes brightening.

"Thank you, Hei." Her hand came up to grace his cheek as well. Forgetting herself, she let her thumb run over his lips. Hei closed his eyes at the sensation, his body silently begging for more. Placing his hand on the one resting on his cheek he leaned down to press his lips against the open skin of her throat, the potted flower pressing between them. He licked and nipped at her skin, stopping several times to give her a nice long suck. He could feel her pulse against his throat and he felt his own throb harder with each passing second. He knew this was wrong. Everything about the way he touched her, the passion he'd put into the kisses he littered her with, it was all highly inappropriate considering the relationship they were aiming for. The friendship he was trying to maintain. But he could no longer tell what their relationship had become, and if it truly had morphed, these moments of passion seemed like a big part of it now. They both knew well enough that today hadn't been the start of their intimacy, this occured constantly between them. Hei cursed himself for letting himself get carried away for so long.

Though Hei was thoroughly enjoying the titillating moment he was sharing with Yin, he knew it would only close the comfortable gap between them. He had to pull away, to stop whatever this was from progressing. No good come from their being together. He still worked for the Syndicate, the very organization she was trying to get away from. If they were caught they'd both get in some serious trouble, and she more likely than not would be killed. Though he shouldn't care about her at all, he was willing to admit that he did care about her enough to not want her to face such a fate.

He separated himself from her, taking a step back. He instantly missed her warmth, the tingling sensation spurred on by their closeness. "Goodbye Yin," His fingertips ran up and down her arms, sending shivers along their length.

She kept the plant close to her for a few weeks after that. She watched as it emerged from the soil, running away from its seedy core. Some days it seemed strong and vibrant, while on other days it almost shrunk inside itself. The poor thing wavered between steady development and near death so often that Yin couldn't imagine how on Earth Hei managed to it grow as much as he did. Yin wondered if maybe the plant's growth had now become symbolic of Hei's wellbeing. She wondered if maybe he had a hard time maintaining stability whenever she was away for too long.

Hei was relieved when it was his turn to take care of the flower again. Every time she returned to him with those knowing eyes, he could tell she knew he was struggling without her. And though he hated to admit it, he had a feeling he knew what was giving him away. Her awareness of his moments of weakness made him feel vulnerable. And when he could think of nothing but his defenselessness he was forced to confront the possibility that he beginning to trust her that vulnerability.

* * *

 **Yes couldn't've is a real word.**


	29. Chapter 29

When Yin returned after meeting her quota for that day, she came to find festivities blossoming around her. The scenario reminded her of when she stayed out too late with Hei and returned to Rinkai indoctrination festival. She wondered if every celebration occured when off somewhere else. She find it in herself to be bothered though.

"Oh!" Shira bounced, surprised to see Yin back so early. A bundle of streamers were bunched up in one hand, while a lengthy flag stretching up to the sky stood clad in her other. She dropped her decorations and began tending to Yin immediately. Called out to another member to handle her things as she ushered Yin inside.

"What's going on?" Yin asked amidst all the rushing.

"I didn't expect you back so early!" Shira responded, completely flustered.

"Are we having a celebration?"

"Well no, not exactly..." Shira's voice excitement and joy, but it also held a fearful hesitation That Yin noticed was rampant in her new community. Yin figured the traits were synonymous with a nervous anticipation, but she deny that those symptoms were always magnified whenever a certain someone was involved. "We're just trying to make this place more presentable for Father!"

Yin's eyes widened slightly in surprise, though she knew she probably should've known. Everything she did, almost every interaction she experienced was preparing her from Father's unexpected appearance. She tried to be more excited, but deep down, she was secretly dreading his arrival. Somehow the divine weight of his presence had grown unbearable, even without him being there.

Disappointment clouded Shira's eyes and dragged her voice down from the pillar of happiness it had once stood upon. "I ruined the surprise! Oh Yin, I'm so sorry, this was supposed to be a secret!"

Yin smiled encouragingly at her, "It's fine, I'm sure this'll be great anyway."

"Looks like I'll just have to dress for this joyous occasion to make up for it!" Shira clapped her hands together. Yin rolled her eyes sarcastically, an expression she'd practiced at for months for the seeing to observe.

"You were totally gonna do that anyway..." Yin smiled, mirth bubbling in her throat.

The two spent the rest of the afternoon preparing for the meeting they would soon share with Father. Yin's flattering heart calmed amidst the warmth of Shira's. And despite Yin's unawareness, Shira's unsettled heart fell into rest alongside hers.

* * *

When Father arrived, a still fell over the entire hideout. He raised a still hand to greet them in a royal manner. Everyone seemed to snap out of their reverie as soon as he moved. Some clapped at his appearance as if a plane had just landed, some bowed at different degrees, most sinking their bodies to the ground, while others had simply stood there, not knowing how to react or what the appropriate thing to do was.

Yin closed her eyes and bowed her head in respect. She could feel Father's ethereal presence flooding the open air and demanding to be worshiped. An unspoken request that no one present could deny. She felt Shira take her hand and guide her forward. Closer to the man that made all this possible. Realizing she was singled out, Yin tried to figure out whether she should be excited or afraid.

Once the couple approached Father in all his divinity, they curtsied before him, Shira guiding Yin's body with her own. As her torso bent forward, Yin felt this was the closest she'd ever been to meeting royalty, something she'd never wanted until now.

Standing before Father, she could feel his kind eyes searching her. Yin could tell he was smiling, and somehow it helped ease the pressure of his unexpected visit. It reminded her of the time they'd spent at headquarters, back in that massive room with the grand instrument that most people would expect her to handle so expertly. It'd been so long since she'd had the freedom to play, to express the passion she felt in her soul through her fingers and watch it come to life as the sounds filled the air.

It made her feel as if Father knew more about her than she'd initially thought. That he'd observed more than the basic facts of her life. That she was more than just numbers and codes. He'd known all along that she was a person and through watching her grow up, he came to understand her wants and needs. It made him feel more like a grandfather she'd lost contact with through no fault of her own. But they were together now, and all she wanted was to revel in the togetherness of her new family.

Switching his scepter-like into his other hand and removing himself from the glorified aids polished at his sides, he placed his hand on Yin's shoulder.

"Come my daughter," His deep voice bellowed, shaking with age. "This joyous occasion must be celebrated!"

"Father?" Yin questioned with light anticipation.

"I declare a celebratory banquet in commemoration of vast success in Section 3!" Father proclaimed. "And we all have this sacred child to thank for it!"

The crowd hollered and cheered in excitement, those closer to her even jeered playfully. Yin felt her heart swell. She never expected Father to visit if only to honor her. Deep down she knew much about being involved with Father was a blessed curse. He could shower you with treasures and the luxury that most of her people had never known, But a lot times the price for all that wasn't something you were sure you were willing to pay.

But Yin shooed those thoughts from her head, allowing herself to acknowledge that she'd worked hard and earned this all on her own.

That night, the entirety of the hideout took part in the banquet. Exotic foods were shared amongst the group as they danced, performed, laughed, and socialized. Yin had seen celebrations from Alucricity that were much more lively than the one she was experiencing then, but she could tell that something about Father being there spread a hushed hesitation over the crowd. But his presence had also lifted their spirits in a way she'd never seen before. In a way that no one else within this community recreate. A way that she knew no one outside this her world could ever experience or understand.

But Yin couldn't stay for the party. After about an hour, she was called for an audience with Father. Shira led her into the sectioned off building reserved only for the elders of the Alucricity community. It was a sort of conference room where all the big decisions were made. Yin had only been allowed inside one other time, back when the planning for section 3 was being done.

Father sat within the altar built there, and Yin kneeled before him as soon as she entered.

"...This celebration is for you my child, I apologize however, that you must not take part in it." Father sounded slightly regretful to inform her of the news, but Yin couldn't bring herself to care about the party. Especially if missing out on it meant being closer to Father. "There is one last task that I require,"

"What is it Father?" Yin questioned.

"There is a very important doll seeking liberation. This will be her new home."

"Yes, Father." Yin replied. She hadn't realized Father sought out specific people. It only reminded her how important the lives of contractors and dolls are to him.

"She's within the district you used to occupy," Father explained. "The Syndicate wants to take her. We mustn't let that happen."

"I..." Yin didn't like where this was going. "I understand."

"You must head out tonight."

"Alone?" Yin asked despite herself. Questioning Father's direct orders were always a gamble. If you were lucky, he'd respond reasonably, and you'd be left with the slight tingle of guilt for second guessing him. But if you weren't, he'd lash out at you. Not enough to seem too extreme for the situation, but just enough to make you feel awful for days.

"Maybe so, but you'll have this..."

Shira guided Yin's hand to the subtle bowl of water in front of her. Yin instinctively summoned a spectre looked directly up at the mask being presented to her. Looking closer, she recognised the garment. It was pitch black, making it difficult to see the eye holes. Staring deeper, she was sure she'd seen the red streaks that highlighted the mask with its holy pattern before.

"It's the mask of Yurei," Father explained. "It will protect you."

"Father, corrected me if I'm wrong but, isn't this a sacred talisman from-"

"-The deceased founders of Alucricity? Yes my child. But now, it is yours."

Yin looked up at him in awe. She remembered the late nights she spent with Shira, Tanai, and a few older men and women. When she came home late, or had simply been swamped with work, they would call her over and offer to educate her on the vibrant history they now shared. They would express the culture that had developed along with the myths and traditions that grew as their numbers did.

Their stories provided a great distraction at times. Taking her to faraway lands and times that never existed. Helping her dream up monsters and creatures that would free her from her lethal responsibilities. That would vanquish the burden of death from her shoulders. Yin was always glad for that moment of relief, so she often times soaked up whatever she could. She knew a lot of what they talked about wasn't real or couldn't have happened within the context they described, but that didn't matter.

She remembered Shira's voice, alight with wonder, as she recalled the legend of the Yurei goddess. She claimed Yurei protected the families within Alucricity, describing instances where members with family on the outside were reunited and lived on in peace. Or times when the dangers of a certain mission provided a threat, but through an impossible turn of events, everything worked out in the end. Shira told her that Yurei's sacred mask was in Father's possession back at headquarters and that it was rarely ever worn. Yin had always wondered what it would be like to wear it. _"Legend has it, that once Alucricity's family is complete, she'll appear before us and rule alongside Father,"_ Yin remembered.

"Oh, Father..." Tears brimmed her eyes as Father stood, retrieving the mask from Shira and placing it on Yin's face. "I'm honored..."

"The honor is mine. There is no gesture great enough to express my pride."

Yin reached up under her mask to wipe her eye. She trembled slightly to keep the tears from bursting out like hail storm of emotion. She sucked in a deep breath, fighting to keep herself together. She could celebrate this new world of happiness that had just sprouted within her later.

"You don't know how grateful I am to you Father," Her voice shook. "I'll never forget this..."

"Go forth my child, fulfill your duty my child."

Yin rose, but she could do nothing be stand there. She felt something was missing, like she couldn't embark just yet. Then it clicked. "Aren't you gonna- give me something?"

Shira came up behind her, placing her soft loving hands on her shoulders. "You're ready. No more drugs, no more tricks. You're target's at the warehouse. I think you know which one..."

"You-? You're not going to...?"

Shira nodded her head no. "We trust you." Yin popped to her feet, slinging her arms around Shira's neck. Shira hugged her back fiercely, giving her a strong squeeze. "Now go get dressed, we don't want you missing anything here."

Yin found herself clad in her kevlar suit, scattered with cage armor within an instant. Throughout all her training, if there was one she'd learned it was to change with haste. Grabbing her scythe, she felt something slide down the staff and brush past her hand. Picking it up and inspecting it with her spectre, Yin noticed it was a belt sporting extra projectiles. She smiled to herself, figuring Shira must've put it there for her.

"Be careful, okay?" Rinkai's voice called from the doorway. Yin tensed in surprise.

"Did you-?"

"I wanna be with you, but I know you need to do this on your own."

"Thanks," Yin strapped the belt across her ribs. "For the last mission too, I'm glad you were there."

Rinkai smiled softly, relishing in her gratitude, knowing it might not be too long before he'd lose it again. He clutched the cloth in his hands tighter. "Here, I got you something else too."

Rinkai stood before her, their bodies teasingly close. He draped the cloak around her shoulders, tucking her braid behind her back in into the shadow of her hood. He whisked the decorative pin from the side of her head and pinned her bangs up with her rest of her hair. He pulled her hood further up over her head, keeping any trace of silver out of sight.

"What's the cloak for?" Yin asked.

"It'll magnify your agility, and since it's dark out, it should hide you pretty well too."

Yin stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you,"

"Stay safe,"

And with that, Yin slipped out of the room and drifted out of sight. The darkness of her cloak allowing her to dissipate into blackness of night.

* * *

Yin had no idea where she was going at first. But as she sped down the more secluded parts of Tokyo, of the area she knew like the back of her hand, she felt like her feet would know where to go. She thought of the warehouse Shira told her about. She stared down at her feet, trusting her instincts to keep her safe. A fleeting memory pushed to the front of her brain. She remembered being pinned to a wall, the bucket of water her feet had just been in had been disturbed. The contents got all over her. Just before Her spectre dissipated, she got a good look into the eyes of the contractor that held her there.

 _'TY-385...'_ Yin thought to herself. She remembered his piercing eyes, the way he stared so intently at her. Sickly way he professed their relation and his desire to take her home had stayed with her long after he'd died. In that moment Yin realized that the warehouse was where most of the interactions between Alucricity and Syndicated went down. If there was a doll trying to escape from the Syndicate and into Alucricity, this was the perfect place to run to.

Yin snapped out of her reverie to find that stood before the very worn and abandoned warehouse she was trying to reach. Scanning the area with her spectre from outside, she spotted the doll. She sat propped up against the wall, trying to keep herself awake through excessive blinking. Looking at her tattered clothes and thin physique Yin felt even more driven about getting her out of there than she did before.

Sneaking inside, Yin ran up to her. The doll noticed her almost immediately and stood in a panic.

"Stop right there," A deep, familiar voice warned. "She's mine..."

Her heart fell into her stomach as she turned to him. She would recognize him anywhere. That dark trench coat which flapped behind him as he moved, the sickly white mask whose shadowy eyeholes made his beautiful blue orbs look like dark pits. The creases in his gloves that formed in response to the tight curve of his fist. That of which is only ever released to reach for one of his forked knives or a deadly wire. The purple lightning bolt over his left eye had always been his own.

Yin had always stood beside that mask. Supporting him, shrouding herself in his protection. She'd show him the way and he'd lead her through the hellfire.

She never thought she'd face him like this. That she'd be the one standing across him, baring her weapon and finding herself the enemy.

...And there he stood. The Black Reaper. Poised and ready to fight.


	30. Chapter 30

Hei stared at his mask baring opponent. Studying their small frame paired up with that large weapon, he had trouble figuring out what they were capable of. He could tell that by masking their members Alucricity's methods were getting smarter and possibly more complex. Observing them further, Hei noticed that their stance was impeccable, although there was something hesitant about the way they stood there before him. They seemed almost reluctant to be facing off with him. Like they desperately wanted to be somewhere else. He couldn't be sure with that cloak, but he was almost sure his opponent was female.

Springing into action, he ran up to her, throwing a dagger as he did. Spinning her scythe, she deflected it. Her movements swift and sharp. Acting on his feet, he threw a wire next, aiming for her throat. She dodged, cutting it in the process. In an effort to familiarize himself with her strengths and weaknesses, Hei tried attacking at a closer range.

Sporting two knives now, he slashed downward with his right hand -aiming for her abdomen, and thrust forward with his left, aiming for her shoulder. The sharp clang of the metals clashing resounded throughout the warehouse as her scythe followed his blade's every direction. With one hand directing her weapon she pushed her outer wrist upward and pushed it against Hei's, blocking his attack before he could do any damage.

His downward slash left him crouching, and with both arms in opposite directions he was left wide open. Within a second his chin was brought face to face with her knee. Hei grunted in pain, having nearly bit his tongue clean off.

As Hei stumbled away from her, trying to get some ground between them, Yin ran toward the doll. The doll stood not sure which one to approach. But before Yin could make it to her she felt the forked blade wedged into her back. It took everything in her not to cry out, but considering her opponent, Yin opted to remain silent. For a moment Yin thought of pulling it out, ending her pain, but she knew she'd only bleed out faster that way.

Yin had little time to think about her injury because like a shadow that ever clung to her, Hei was upon her again. Lifting his foot in a high kick, the side of her head was swept up in a whirlwind of pain. She stumbled over a few feet to the left. Digging her scythe into the ground, she caught herself. Readjusting her mask, she turned back to him, her defenses ready.

With the blade of his knife facing the outside of his fist opposite to his thumb, he slid his weapon across the canvas of her skin. The blade tore up her arm and split her shoulder, her now free blood coated his knife in crimson. Her body instinctively turned away as she received the wound. But she smoothly transitioned from receiving his attack and into the rebound. Ripping her scythe up from the ground she sliced Hei up the length of his torso. She tried not to cut too deep, but careful as she was, she could already tell she'd done some substantial damage.

Yin hissed at herself as she watched him stumble backwards. His weight shifted from the balls of his feet to heels until he was forced to accept that he was fast tumbling to the ground. With his ever quick reflexes he threw a wire just before his body hit the ground. Yin was far too concerned for him to think to dodge, and before she knew it, his wire was coiled tight around her neck. Hei's power pulsed through his veins, ready to burst forth. It tingled beneath his skin, eager to escape and lay waste to his opponent.

...But he hesitated. As he held the life of his adversary in his hands he could almost feel its importance. Like he somthing he was bound to. Like a mystery he needed to solve, otherwise, he'd never be free. This could be anyone. They could be leading a life Hei'd never considered possible before. He could never know what role she played in someone else's life if he ended this here. And though he usually managed not to care, something about his opponent felt important. Like something worth sparing. When he thought about it, the contractors and dolls at Alucricity were only fighting for their freedom, something he actively encouraged Yin to do. _'Yin,'_ Hei thought to himself. _'What if she knows Yin? What would Yin do if she went missing? Would she know it was me?'_

In a moment of weakness, Hei allowed himself to make a vow. A promise to Yin and her future. But he would only follow through with it if he was sure.

"Yin," Hei addressed his masked opponent.

Yin flinched, terrified that she'd been caught in the act. For a moment it felt like every organ in her body had rushed up into her chest, but within a second it felt like her soul had dropped into the bottom of her body. Her heart began to race as tears of fear came to her eyes. How could he have known? What gave her away? What did he think of her now? Yin searched his voice for any trace of the sorrowful sting of betrayal, or the unyielding force of hatred.

"Do you know her?" Hei continued, much to Yin's relief. Though he felt comfortable enough to mention Yin by name, knowing that no one at Alucricity would hurt her, his defenses were still up. Hostility shining through in his voice. _'If she does know her,'_ Hei vowed silently. _'I won't kill her.'_

But Yin wouldn't answer. She wouldn't even nod her head. This lie alone filled her with a sin that she felt she could never be purged of. For the first time, she'd attacked him. She'd let body move on the defense, knowing it would hurt him. She knew what would happen after this. He would go back home, battered and bruised. Half alive in more ways than one, and wonder with each passing second if all this was worth it. He would be given little to no rest, as if he were a machine. Only now did she understand that in the moments when he did allow himself believe his life was made of code, that he could turn a blind eye to his problems and find peace in that static world of the in between. He would find himself writhing in agony, but cloak his pain from himself under the guise of being a contractor.

She remembered looking at him through her spectre from her stand. She had always been careful not to get caught then, but she never understood why it was so crucial that he didn't catch her at times like those. After working together for a while, Yin began to feel the need to watch over him whenever things got too severe. She would look at him in secrecy, something in her wanting to reach out and touch him. She didn't know why she'd always felt a prickling longing to be near him during those times. There was no reason for it, but as much as she tried to ignore it, she couldn't help but look at him. She knew now that she wanted to comfort him, to give him the permission he so desperately needed to let his guard down, but back then it had only been a nameless desire.

Even as a doll she knew he'd needed comforting. That whatever happened to him after missions wasn't good for him. And now that she's grown and developed into a person she's learned so much more about him and the world they were immersed in. She knew that his binding thoughts of being a contractor were self destructive. That he was suppressing the best parts of him in favor of a lie that would only benefit those who sought to use him. She knew his thoughts would always lead him back to this point.

She knew. She knew and she let herself contribute to this. She let herself become a link in the chain that kept him bound to his suffering. She knew this wouldn't be the only hurt he'd be experiencing tonight. Or for many nights to come. He didn't know it was her behind the mask, but she did. And fact that alone made it nearly impossible for her to live with herself in that moment. She didn't know what she would do if he found out she'd been the one putting up such a violent fight.

Her dishonor was the sole reason she had barely flinched as his wire coiled around her neck. The reason she made no move to cut it despite having ample time to do so. Yin felt in her heart that if she'd caused him any pain, in his hands were a fitting way to die. But he was sparing her, if only for a moment. He was asking for her. Searching for a connection. Yin wondered if maybe he were worried about her. She'd never felt more unworthy of his concern than she did in that moment.

For the sake of the unbearable shame and guilt she would feel if she were uncovered, Yin said nothing. She would not nod her head yes or no, for another lie would only add to weight upon her shoulders. And she didn't think she had it in her to keep up with her lies when it came to him either.

The two stared into the shadowed hollows of the eyeholes in their masks. Each of them standing just at the tip of the line that divided them, neither moving to take the step across. A draw. But the pair snapped out of their reverie as soon as they heard the scuffle of feet at the edge of the warehouse.

Yin turned the best she could in her position as Hei scrambled to his feet. Hei tugged harshly on the wire and Yin's body came tumbling toward his. With his other hand he swiped the side of her head with the back of his fist. He let go of the wire as she fell to the ground. Her mask slid to the side of her face, strands of silver peaking out from her hood. But Hei didn't notice, having already begun running towards the escaping doll.

Despite her dizzying mind, Yin managed to push her mask back into place and tuck her hair into her hood. Yin ripped the wire from around her throat, and remembered the projectiles strapped to her ribs. 'Father,' She thought. She could feel Hei escaping after the doll, and Yin remembered what she was here for. She couldn't forget her mission. She'd been fighting all this time for Father, but getting direct orders from him made this feel all the more real. She knew she couldn't bring herself to kill Hei, but she needed that doll. It was her only means of redemption for hurting Hei. She refused to let nothing come of her violence. And based off what Father had told her, that doll needed her too. If she was trying to escape to Alucricity then this was bigger than Yin. Bigger than whatever the Syndicate wanted. Yin simply wouldn't have it. This was a matter of freedom. She knew Hei would never wholeheartedly want to get in the way of that.

Hooking three throwing knives on her fingers, Yin propelled them at Hei from behind. The short daggers dug into his calves, his blood staining his pants leg. Hei stopped short, his chest pushing forward and his head pulling back. His legs tensed in response to the pain and his fist clenched in an attempt to numb it. Using the delicate balance of her scythe, Yin pulled her body up and ran toward the doll.

But Hei wasn't having it either. Just before Yin could pass him, he kicked his leg out. His blow struck her right in the ribs, breaking two and wedging most of her projectiles into her flesh. It was a little more than a shallow wound, but it hurt like hell, and she was beginning to find herself struggling to breathe. Her mind was going fuzzy, and she felt an odd tingly sensation. It felt like she was drowning, but she couldn't quite place it.

Yin could barely think and Hei was still coming down on her. He began to dominate her, attacking her ruthlessly. The pressure of his fist leaving her defenseless. The strength of his well toned legs leaving her grasping at straws for the balance to stay on her feet. She was sure he wouldn't have killed her, but he needed her out of his way. Yin realized how badly she needed to get out of there. To find some form of safety. There was no time to spare for the doll who was fleeing into the night sky.

She felt her mind go blank as her movements, her passion for anything other than her own benefit grew numb to her. From the instant she saw Hei standing before her as her opponent she knew she didn't want it to come to this. The last thing she wanted to be was the mindless soldier who could think of nothing but her kill streak. She didn't want to return to the moments that occured so often on the battlefield. She didn't want to be brought back to square one. Not with Hei. Not against Hei.

But her heart was beating so fast that she couldn't even feel in her chest. It was like it had stopped, like her body was separate from her now. Her lungs were folding in on themselves. Her body was growing hyper aware of the pain. Hyper aware of what it needed to do to make it stop. In a moment of weakness her mind blacked out. She could feel her body moving but she didn't quite know what she was doing. She felt her scythe moving between her hands and she knew her movements were probably more complex than she'd intended, but there was nothing she could do to stop herself in time.

The next thing she knew, the heat of her blade was forcing open the skin of his cheek. His mask was in shambles, and bits of it got wedged into his wound. He whirled around, the force of her attack knocking him to his hands and knees. He clapped a hand to his face, concerned of his identity over anything. He looked over his shoulder and into the eyes of her mask, checking to see if she'd seen more than she should have.

Though he was oddly surprised to find her concerned form reaching out to him. Her arms stretched out to him, her clasp on her scythe loosening. He imagined an open mouth and wide eyes beneath the mask, but he couldn't imagine a reason for her sudden worry over him. He watched the scythe slip from her hand and drop to the ground in with a loud echoey clatter.

She backed away from him. Slowly at first, but then she broke out into a full on sprint. Her balance fluctuated between stability and stumbling all over the place. She wrapped her arms around her ribs, trying to keep herself together. For a moment he almost regretted going so hard on her. He wondered if she'd be okay after this. He wondered how much he'd unknowingly let himself care after this. Hei somehow managed to get himself to his feet. He used the mic system to call for help. He then stood and watched as she disappeared into the night before collapsing to the ground.


	31. Chapter 31

Yin rushed back home, her body startled to a stop as the sounds swirled around her. She'd almost forgotten there was a party going on before she left. One that would most likely rage on throughout the night. Once she got there, a loud sharp cry ripped through the air, startling her. Her mind clear just a fraction and she identified the sound as a roaring cheer. She didn't know if maybe they were cheering for her upon arrival or if the mere presence of the celebration overwhelmed her senses, but before she knew it, there was a collective howl of laughter, applause, and shouts of acclaim.

The sounds rattled her brain as her head began to throb. Though it had been loud before she still found herself rattled by the cheers and turned her head sharply toward the noises, searching the entire campground. Bright lights flashed to the front of her eyes from the back of her mind. She could feel shuffling around her, as some of the noise died down but her mind couldn't catch up to what was happening. She took two unbalanced steps forward, before falling over. She passed out just before she hit the ground.

* * *

Yin awoke at some odd hour. The light of day had not yet made its presence known, but the purple hue of the fading night sky warned of its fast approaching arrival. Yin opened her eyes slowly, a hallucination of Hei's tender gaze coming into sight. She reached out to him, having so much she wanted to say. She wanted to pour the greatest grandest apology she could muster into him, but she found no words to speak. But a touch had always been enough for them. She hoped she could reach him that way. But she couldn't reach him. She flinched back as a flash of his bruised face and mouth full of blood and bones startled her back into blindness.

"Yi- Aiona?"Shira's hesitant voice called. She sounded like she was treading dangerous waters. Like she was walking the balance of two intense emotions.

"S-Shira?" Yin questioned, her voice weak. Somehow, she already knew something crucial had happened, that effects were just waiting explode in her face.

"I need you to tell me exactly what happened last night," Shira knew Yin wasn't in the best shape, but this was urgent business. This was bigger than her. Possibly even bigger than Shira. This was _Father's_ business. And if you didn't see the importance in that then you weren't going to like how you were going to learn.

Yin hesitated as large bits of her memory returned to her. She remembered returning home and passing out shortly after. She remembered sneaking into the warehouse and finding Hei there shortly after. _'Oh god,'_ She thought, remembering her fight with Hei. Her muscles throbbed as recalled the sheer force she thrust upon him. Her face twisted in pain and shame as she remembered all she had to do to protect herself. Every pound of his fists, every slice and tear that stretched across her skin from the strength of his blade, every blow made by his powerful legs felt like a personal attack to her. Like everything he'd done was directed at her. As if every punch were meant for her specifically.

Yin of course, knew that wasn't true. She was sure that if he'd known it were her under that mask, he wouldn't have hurt her.

 _"Oh no,"_ Yin moaned, remembering what awful shape she left him in. Shira grasped Yin's shoulders, collecting her.

" _Aiona,_ talk to me!" Yin reached up and placed her hand on the inside of Shira's elbow.

"W-Where's...where's Hei?"

The balance shifted. Shira's hesitant neutrality was tipping over, and fast. "The doll! What happened to the doll!"

"We fought.. for her-! I think..."

"Yes! Your mission was to get her! What happened! Where is she!?" Shira began shaking her lightly, losing patience.

"He's in bad shape... Hei needs... -needs help..." Sitting up further, Yin noticed her ribs weren't hurting as much as they did last night. And the fact that she was even awake so soon after all the blood she lost night was a miracle. Placing a firm hand against her ribs, Yin flinched, finding them still bruised. Not broken, but not fully healed either. Yin looked up in confusion.

"I had you healed earlier, er -last night so to speak." Shira stared down at her, her life depending on knowing about that doll. "You'll get the rest healed once you tell me _where that doll is_."

Yin could feel the heat stirring in the room as the harshness of Shira's threat and tone shocked the memory of the fleeing doll back into her mind. "She's gone, Shira." Yin's mind cleared as she began to speak more coherently.

"I'm sorry," Yin added, she could practically hear Shira grinding her teeth.

Shira tossed her body down onto the bed. Yin sat back up, looking back at her in surprise. It hadn't been too rough, but Shira had never been so aggressive with Yin before.

"Oh god.. Oh God!" Shira began pacing the room, her panic building. Her breathing picked up. The steady pattern of in and out becoming nothing more than a goal of getting more air. The only use of exhaling being to suck more air in. "Do have any idea what that doll meant to this community?!"

"I-I.. I'm sorry, I did my best-..." Tears came to Yin's eyes she realized how serious this was. Shira had never yelled at her before. Yin had heard the soothing sweetness of her voice, she'd heard her stern compassionate tones, she'd even heard her voice when devoid of all emotion, but Shira had never raised her voice like this before. Yin had never thought her capable of doing such a thing. She'd always thought Shira was able to compel people with her own personal strength. But if she was yelling now, then it was Yin's actions that made her feel powerless enough to do so.

"Do you have any idea what she might do for the _Syndicate?!_ Taking her away from them would've meant everything!"

"Shira-!"

"Now she's running around god knows where, and they can snatch her up at any moment!"

"I-"

"Do you have any idea what Father will do to me?" Shira's muscles tensed, searching for some sort of outlet for her rage. "Father gave you one job, and you- and you fucked it up!"

Yin flinched back. She'd never heard Shira curse at her before. It wasn't like it was the first time someone cursed at her. Huang had strung a long list of much more colorful words together and slung them her on a daily basis in the past. But hearing words like that from Shira, someone who'd never even yelled at her until now, that struck her somewhere tender.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Yin's voice shook with the need to cry.

"You don't even care about us do you? Am I the only one in this room who has any semblance of love and respect for Father!?" Shira threw her hands up in the air.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Tears sprang from Yin's eyes, running down her cheeks and into the curve of her nose. "Hei was there! I couldn't beat him!"

Shira stopped. The air stilling. She slowly turned to her, and Yin feared what she would do. She could feel Shira's now icy stare on her. One that reminded her of Trevor's back at her first time at the warehouse. And her mother's worried stare all those years ago. It felt like her stare was looking far too deep into her. Ravaging sensitive places that were meant to be kept hidden, kept protected. She felt like Shira was attacking a soft spot for her and Yin didn't know how to handle it.

"You didn't..."

Yin didn't know how to respond.

Shira's hand shot out before Yin could react. It reached behind her head and grabbed at a large chunk of hair.

"Ah!" Yin gave a short cry.

"You were protecting your little friend weren't you!" Shira accused.

"Please!" Yin begged as Shira tugged harshly on her hair.

"You love him more than Alucricity don't you?!" Shira's appearance warped into that of a madman's. Her hair was loose from her ponytail, and a collection of stray strands fell over her face. Her sharp eyes were a strong contrast to her usually soft mold and presence, and her nose and mouth scrunched up in anger. "More than me, right!?"

"I love you! I love you!" Yin shouted at the top of her lungs, willing to do anything to revert her back to the Shira she knew.

"I will not be swayed by your lies!" Yin moaned in pain, fear, and disbelief. Even her speech was growing unrecognizable. "You must be cleansed of your treacherous tendencies!"

Shira yanked her broken and battered body out of the bed. Yin clung onto the hand gripping her hair with much more strength than she herself could ever have.

"No!" Yin kicked her feet behind her. "Please! Where are you taking me!?"

Shira dragged her out of the building and out into the center of the campus. Shira stomped her foot in a certain spot and Yin could hear wood knocking beneath her feet. Clearing the dirt with her foot, she uncovered the hiding spot of Yin's new punishment. She pulled Yin up, her fist just above her head. Yin hadn't realized how strong she was until she pulled her off the ground, showcasing her like a prized fish she'd ripped from the water with her bare hands.

"By the power invested in me..." Shira started. A cluster of members began to crowd them. Yin felt relief as she heard people gathering around her. She call out for help, even going as far as to say Shira was having some sort of episode. She was ashamed, but she grew more and more desperate as the seconds ticked on, and she couldn't say it was untrue either. But no one would heed her. She grew substantially more panicked as she slowly began to realize that there wasn't a single person in the crowd that saw anything wrong with this. It was clear that behavior like this would not be questioned, or tested, but merely accepted and followed.

"I cast a cleanse of the treachery within this child!" Shira exclaimed, addressing the swelling cluster of spectators. They hollered in agreement, negating the gravity of the situation. Every cheer pierced her body like a hailstorm of knives running through her.

"No! You don't understand!" Yin cried. She tried to yell above the crowd but their screams out matched her. She searched for an inkling of support, but the world swirled around her.

"Under the Father's watchful eye, I strip her of the holy name of Aiona!" The crowd jeered Yin once again with their support for Shira's cruelty. Tears of shame and confusion ran down her cheeks.

"Under the Alucricity Association, I sentence _Yin_..." Venom spat from her mouth as she called Yin by her real name. Shira swung her arm over to the left, showing Yin off to more of the crowd. Yin howled in pain as she clawed at Shira's wrist, begging to be released. She could feel her scalp going numb. "To the box!"

The hollering from the crowd grew much more intense once Shira revealed the sentence. Yin didn't know what the box meant, but if it excited them this much, it couldn't be good. She heard thundering footsteps approach as a member from the crowd opened up some sort of latch, swinging the wooden door wide open. Yin wriggled around fearfully, trying to find some ground despite knowing that with Shira's grip it was impossible. Not wanting to know what the box had in store for her, she desperately searched the crowd, seeking out any semblance of mercy. Of pity. But all she could feel were their hungry eyes on her. Their rage, their savage excitement. They tainted the air with their sinful desire. Their lust for violence should've brought them shame, but they acted as if such a thing were natural. There was not a single soul out there who cared what would happen to her. The people she believed had loved her unconditionally, held no concern for her wellbeing.

All but one. Like a spark in a bitter darkness, she felt it. A worried gaze. A single, fearful glance. A stare filled with regret for ever being apart of this. She could think of only one person who cared, even a little about whatever barbaric punishment that awaited her. Someone whose effort she was now beginning to appreciate. Someone she would never, _ever_ take for granted again. Someone who hadn't always been there for her, but loved her enough to try.

"Rinkai!" She called, praying that his presence was more than a fearful illusion generated by her desperation. "Help! Rinkai please!"

She could feel the spark flickering out, leaving her. He was turning away from her, leaving her helpless. She reaching a hand out to the crowd, his presence fading. "Rinkai!"

Shira's fist loosened into an open palm. Yin's momentary relief was sharply interrupted as her body hit the ground. She could feel the wood on her back and pressing into the insides of her knees and on the back of her neck. Yin scrambled to get up, attempting to flee. But several hands grabbed at her, tugging and pushing at her limbs. They squeezed at the open wounds under her bandages and pressed against the sensitive bruises on her skin. In a futile effort to subside the pain, she kicked and punched fruitlessly, no attack of hers meeting a purchase.

They pulled her legs down harshly, her head hitting the bottom of the box roughly. Yin had never suspected that people she regarded as her family would hurt her. That they'd claw at her skin so violently. That they'd contort her body in such an uncomfortable position even as she sustained multiple injuries. Or that Shira would be the one to start all this. Yin screamed harder than she'd ever done before in her life. Her terror filled voice sounded foreign, even to herself. Her vocal expression of horror had somehow scared herself even further, only serving as a reminder that this was real. They were serious.

She wanted to call out to Rinkai again, but she knew he was gone, that is, if he ever was there at all. She needed someone she could depend on, someone who'd always been there for her. Someone who was willing to take the risk to save her. For a moment no one came to mind, but then she remembered who'd been there for since the start of all this. Who had supported her through transitions from a doll into what she was hoping was human, was free. Someone who'd always protected her, even before knew, let alone liked her.

"Hei!" She cried. But things only got worse.

"She confesses to her treachery!" She heard a howl from within the crowd.

"We should have cleansed her sooner!" Another bellowed.

"Hei please!" Yin knew it was foolish to believe he'd hear her, but something in her made her feel like her pleas would reach him.

Her cries for help did nothing but antagonize them further. Her body pushed and pulled beneath the force of their rage. Like the tides of the ocean under the moons silent command. Her knees were shoved up against her chest and her hands pressed to her shoulders, her arms squeezing the frame of her body tightly. The group let go of her simultaneously, and her body stayed folded awkwardly for just long enough for them to close the cover on her.

Yin felt the light leaving her and tried to reach out, but she was too late. She tried to push against the cover but by then latch had been closed and locked up tight. Maneuvering as much as she could in the cramped space, Yin began banging on the cover.

"Hei! Hei!" She repeated, her panic clouding her reason. "Hei! I need you!"

She felt a rush of fear run throughout her body as the box dropped deeper into the ground. There was a sharp drop, and then the box would come to an even sharper stop. The pattern repeated until lost track of how far into the ground she was. She stopped screaming, knowing the world was too far away to hear her. A slot opened above her head. Considering the fact that the Earth's insides didn't come pouring into the box, she figured it was for breathing. She let out an exhausted sigh, she was going to be down there for a while. She let the silence swallow her, finally accepting that only nothingness could be afforded to her.

She cried softly, her mind locked onto the whirlwind of sounds emitting from the crowd and the numerous hands forcing her into the box. She briefly wondered if she truly did deserve this. She did hold back on Hei. Though she wouldn't have been able to beat him, he didn't know what she was capable of. Had she given her all, had she aimed for vitals, she could've overwhelmed him. But she couldn't kill him, fighting him was the last thing she wanted. The fact that she was even thinking of how she could've bested him and avoided all this brought immense shame to her heart.

She he wasn't going to kill her. How could she be so cruel? How could she call out to him for help and regret her inability to beat him? She felt an undeniable guilt at the thought, but remembering how Hei mercied someone he considered to be one of her potential comrades brought a momentary comfort. He'd even asked about her just to be sure. She was glad he considered her when fighting Alucricity members. He knew how much these people meant to her and tried to refrain from killing for her sake. But now, she wasn't sure if they were worth his restraint anymore.

But the tears would only flow faster. She didn't deserve the treatment she received last night. He should've killed her. Maybe that punishment would be easier to swallow. Maybe then she wouldn't be suffering this humiliation, this discomfort, this prolonged fear. She should've died last night, it was only fair. The strong eliminate the weak, no matter how close to their level the weak may be. That was simply how things worked in this underworld she was so convinced she'd finally escaped from.

Her sore muscles throbbed and her eyes burned as she resigned to her fate. She was stuck. She put both Hei's safety and the relationship they'd built together on the line, only to be buried alive like some sort of witch trial. He needs her, and she can't be there for him. She wonders when she's ever been there for him. Within the ever growing darkness of the box, she can't imagine a single moment when she's spared him of pain. All she can think of are all the sacrifices he's made for her, and all the nothings she's done with them.

As she lied swallowed by a blackness darker than her own blindness, she folded in on herself. Trying to imagine herself anywhere outside this tomb. Hei, in all his unconsciousness, was unable to observe the once healthy flower. It's stem growing brittle, and sickly.


	32. Chapter 32

Hei's unconscious form lied undisturbed. He sported bandages that ran up and down his body, making it clear that Yin had done a number on him. It would be a few days before he would be able to wake up, leaving him unaware of the heavy presence that stood over him. Rinkai leaned over the defenseless man, his bloodthirsty eyes clouded with the desire to reap a life. He clenched the knife in his hand tighter, his face growing grimmer. Staring down at the man he considered to have started this, he tried to work up the courage to do what came here for. He thought of how close he and Yin had become. And of the bitter space that had put between them. The space she was leaving for Hei.

He remembered each and every night she would sneak off so see him. Everytime he saw the shameless flush of her cheeks, his mind would return to the sickening thought of Hei. He could always tell when Hei was on her mind and it made a lot of things for him unbearable. He'd tried to make peace with it. To come to terms with the relationship between them that had existed before he'd even had a chance. To believe that his relationship with Yin would one day be stronger than the one she had with Hei.

But that was before jealousy had become an option. Though Rinkai was more in touch with his feelings than Yin was when she'd first arrived, he was still recovering. He was trying to grow apart from the system that had lied to and oppressed him. And through his time with Yin, he'd learned so much. For the time in his life, he'd felt the soft pull of attraction and infatuation. He'd felt all the perks of a solid friendship, and he watched a budding romance blossom between them. Or at least, he longed for a budding romance to occur between them. But every time he closed the space between them she would push him away. Making room to remain faithful to someone else. Not even considering that _he_ might be more worthy of her time.

Before he knew it, he'd grown jealous. Every passing thought of Hei enraged him. Every time Yin left the campsite, even if it were for a mission, his paranoid rage told him she was going back to him. Running back to his side. He tried to keep his jealousy under wraps, to diminish it from every aspect of himself, but it never seemed to fully leave him. His love for Yin made it easier to hide it around her, but he still longed for a way to rid himself of the ugly feeling.

For a time, he believed keeping her at Alucricity was the answer. If he could get her to join, to agree to all the risks that came with it, they could be together. He figured that once she was in, her loyalty would keep her from visiting Hei. At least long enough to give Rinkai the chance to make her forget about him. But the task Father assigned had traumatized her. He hadn't even known how it affected her until recently. He should've known better, he shouldn't have let her do such a thing. He should've negotiated with Father against her hunting those kids before the trio sealed the deal. If he couldn't do it himself, who's to say she could?

All he wanted was an underlying control over her life. He never meant to hurt her. His only goal was to push odds in his favor. But Hei had gotten in the way. Just as he always did. That mission was supposed to be simple. She was meant to be in and out within seconds. If Hei hadn't been there, she could've gotten that doll with ease. Father wouldn't have left early. Most importantly, Yin wouldn't be buried 12 feet underground right now.

Knowing that the Syndicate was after that doll, Rinkai had a feeling someone Yin knew would show up. Though, it was safe to say that his main concern was of Hei's appearance at the warehouse. That was why he had a cloak made for her. He hoped Hei wouldn't recognize her, that he'd fight her. He prayed that Yin would have to defend herself, that she'd see what a cold heartless killer he truly was. That she'd kill him. Even then he understood how dangerous the Black Reaper was, so he threw in his projectiles just in case. But Yin had gotten hurt. All that came of this were accusations, and none were directed at Hei. And even worse, Yin was now forced to suffer a punishment she could do nothing but fall victim to.

Rinkai remembered the way her terrified voice cried out to him. How he fought against the chills that ran up and down his spine. How he'd closed his ears to the sound of her tragic plea. As her terror rang out behind him, Rinkai had finally found a cure for his jealousy. Eliminating Hei was the only answer. And all wrapped up in the easy reasoning of protecting Yin. Killing him would clear her of guilt, save her from scrutiny. There would no more outside distractions, no more hiccups in Father's plan. Rinkai had never thought it'd get to this point but, maybe she'd finally be safe within Alucricity too.

Rinkai stepped over him, leaving Hei's helpless form between his legs. Clutching the knife in both hands now, Rinkai raised it above his head. Harnessing all his rage and jealousy, he dropped to his knees and thrust the dagger down with all the force he could muster.

* * *

Shira rushed about her branch of the house, fussing and fretting over every aspect of the place. Shortly after putting Yin down under, she spent most of her time cooped up inside. Shira did nothing but clean aggressively- she made up her bed seven different ways, and organized her closet in order of the color spectrum, arranged all the dishes from smallest to biggest, then vise versa. She even systemized every trinket she'd ever received from Father in chronological order. Shira swept, dusted, and scrubbed away at the place fruitlessly, even after she was sure it was spotless.

When there was nothing left to clean, Shira ran her fingers over every surface in the house, feeling meticulous as ever at the moment. She was just on the edge of moving onto something else, her mind moving swiftly in a desperate attempt to distract herself. -But in the corner of her room, she saw it. She saw the now thinning stem, and the withering pair that had uncoiled from the base. She looked at the drooping unbloomed flower head and studied the once pink petals that turned brown as the flower folded in on itself. The darkening flower wrinkled with death and Shira tried to force her mind away from the suffering Yin must be experiencing, but she couldn't deny pull she felt leading her.

She stood at the edge of the only room she hadn't cleaned yet. She lingered there, her eyes only passing over the area for a moment before the sight grew too painful for her to bear. She'd always cleaned her room whenever Yin went away. Shira didn't know how it started, but over time, she wanted to provide a sort of home for Yin. She wanted to come home to something familiar. She wanted to build a homey sensation for her here. She needed to make sure Yin would be filled with a sense of belonging whenever she came home.

Deep down, Shira knew it had worked. Under certain circumstances, she had observed every detail of Yin's tobacco shop, and she'd seen the state of which she'd kept it in. It was completely devoid of anything personal. She had nothing of her own there, and everything she did have was packed away. She lived like she was ready to leave at any moment, like she was on the move. Like she could leave with nothing but the clothes on her back and there'd be no hesitation. That place wasn't a home. There was no comfort in that shop, and not a single square inch of solace to take in that laughable shack.

But Shira knew for certain that when she was here, she was rooted. Everything she owned, everything needed, was strewn about. Left out in the open, scattered in a way that would make it difficult to collect a few valuables and leave at a moment's notice. She was in no way ready to leave, or pull away from the possibilities this place provided for her. They'd decorated it together! ...Well, it _was_ mostly for Shira, but Yin let her because she actively pursued the connection that was forming. She laid her life out in this room. She trusted this place, these people, not to take this away from her. Not to leave her homeless. Shira pulled away, closing the door behind her.

This was supposed to be easy. She was meant to take Yin in, mentor her, and pull her in closer. Yin was meant to latch onto her, not the other way around. Her orders were simple. Shira had overcome much more difficult trials since joining Alucricity. And yet, here she was now, regretting participating in a practice she'd founded and perfected all on her own.

Shira remembered what Father had told her when they decided on putting Yin in the center of their plan. Back before she was relocated to this rather unimpressive hideout. When she was forced to leave the frontlines and her life of luxury. When he told her she'd need to become a sort of domesticated figure, she'd nearly protested. But she held back, knowing what Father could do, what he could take away from her. She tried to negotiate with him civilly, but questioning Father was dangerous. She'd taken a gamble with her lifestyle and lost. He warned her that if she couldn't complete this with ease, she would be stripped of her status as a warrior. He would force her to remain at the hideout and handle the domestic needs of all its peoples.

And when Father discovered Yin had failed at fetching the doll for him, he'd left early. Commanding that Shira do something about her insolence and warning her that she was only steps away from her punishment. It was her fear of such a fate that had driven her to her breaking point. This was the safest method of action, but at what cost? She'd been told all her life that this was the last thing she wanted. Everyone in the world around her condemned women who cleaned or cooked. Even those who regarded the ones they mentored as children. Women like the one she'd become.

In all truth, Shira didn't hate domestic work. It was hard and gruelling at times, but there were moments when she took pride in it. When her work truly did pay off. But she wanted more. She wanted to fight again. She wanted to train the new generation. Thinking back to her own mentor, she remembered how he praised her. How he'd lift her up at any chance he had. He'd taught her that she could have anything she wanted. That she could pursue any life she longed for. He saw how ashamed she was for being a girly girl. How despite being someone most people would see as typical, she still had wants and desires for things outside of the small spectrum that had been built for girls like her.

He'd seen so much in her. He taught her how fight when her femininity made her a laughable candidate for a warrior. He'd shown her how to take pride in both aspects of herself. He'd helped her become the feminine warrior who proved that she could be both. But her mentor was gone now, and the thought alone of what happened to him burned her. She was alone now with a community violently rejected any shift in social norms, and she could no longer contain the equilibrium of the differing aspects of her personality. She would either become a stereotype of her femininity, and be looked down upon by her peers, or she would play this game. She would dedicate herself to her cover and discard any domesticated aspect of herself once this was all over.

She knows there was once a time when she could be both. When such a choice didn't have to be made, but the feeling was lost. With her mentor, she could keep it together, she understood that she truly could have the best of both worlds. But now that he was gone, that feeling of security had gone numb to her. All she wanted now was to be strong. So she turned and stepped out of the doorway, closing that room out of her heart. Because for her, being strong meant denying all struggles. For this place, being strong meant perfection.

* * *

"Yin..." Hei moaned in his sleep riddled state. Rinkai's knife stopped above his chest, the tip just grazing the skin. He trembled as he heard the name slip out Hei's mouth.

"...Yin..." Hei repeated. His body shifted as he grew more and more unsettled with each passing second. Rinkai had studied him for hours, and he knew for sure that Hei shouldn't have been moving at all in that state. He should've been unconscious for a few days at best, but he tossed and turned as if trying to work up the strength move on his own. If Rinkai didn't know any better, he'd think he was trying to wake up. Or even worse... to make his way back to Yin.

Rinkai shook with rage. This couldn't be happening.

Hei's hand reached out, his hand falling to the ground beside him. His fingers stretched to the window, to the wilting flower on the sill. Rinkai looked to the plant that Shira had told him a while a back to expect. The flower that never came, the flower that instigated a fear inducing warning from Shira a few days later. It was supposed to be his. He and Yin were supposed to be growing that together.

Rinkai wanted nothing more than to kill Hei at that very instant, but he held himself back, if only for a moment. He didn't believe someone like Hei could ever harbor enough love in his heart to match what Yin held within. But he knew Yin had this silent way of changing people, if she invested herself in them enough. If she could make -what he considered to be- a soulless assassin like Hei care enough about her to reach out when in such bad shape, then she herself must care a great deal about him.

Staring at the man before him, he knew killing him would cost a price far too high for him to pay. He imagined Yin's grief stricken face. Something he pictured would come very close to the terrified look she casted upon the crowd when she was sentenced to the box. He didn't know if he could face such an expression again. If he could handle her grieving Hei's death for the rest of her life.

He didn't know if Yin could ever accept him if she found out he had brought Hei's end upon him. Rinkai begrudgingly made up his mind. There would have to be another way. This wasn't over, but it wouldn't end like this.


	33. Chapter 33

Yin awoke to the fear of falling. A rush ripped through her that made her feel like all her organs were being pushed up into her chest. Her heart pounded in an attempt to convince her that her life was in danger. Yin shut her eyes tight and tried to numb the sensation. She knew she wasn't falling. There was no one out there to drop her. She was sure now that there was no one coming for her. She was certain the world above no longer cared about her. There was no Aiona to praise down here, only Yin. She was beneath them now, forced to suffer through a hell of her own. Eventually, she convinced herself that they'd forgotten her. She was apart from their world now, outside of time.

She was no longer the savior who conquered section 3, or the one who salvaged numerous members to save a ruined land. She was the traitor. Within seconds she'd become nothing more than a doll. Or maybe even worse, -a doll that wouldn't follow orders. After a few hours Yin was certain they would lift her up, ask her if she'd learned her lesson. Yin pictured the crowd gathering around, their expressions shrouded in shame and caution. Yin imagined Shira would look down upon her sternly at first, but she would then break out into tears, sorry that she'd ever thought to give such a harsh punishment. She could almost hear their cluster of offhanded advice and their vows of good intentions. Yin hoped that if they'd truly meant it, then she could believe that they were only trying to teach her a lesson. Maybe then, Yin could discover a reason for all this.

But Yin had trouble keeping track of time. She waited for hours, falling in and out of sleep in a very unusual pattern. The longer she stayed down there the more panicked she became. Every now and again she would wake up and just before the realization settled on her, her desire to be among the real world would become reality. For a moment she could feel her comfy mattress beneath her, and her thick blankets swaddled around her with Shira at her bedside. Her imaginary pleasure was so intense in comparison to her life in the box that it would make her wonder if maybe she'd never been in the box at all.

But the cold hard wood on her wounds would not lie. The tight space that forced her to press her legs into her bruised ribs were too painful, too real to deny. In her weaker moments, she would scream and howl, knowing no one would hear her, but not caring either way. She banged on the door of the box with her aching fists, and kicked against the side of the box with her feet. She would pound and kick until there were splinters all along her forearms and the bottoms of her feet. Tears would burn through her eyes and choke her screams with weakness. During one of her worst fits she clawed at the wood, cursing and screaming all the while.

She wanted more than anything to break out, to climb to the surface somehow and run away. But when the third day had passed without her knowing, she grew too weak to do anything other than wake up and suffer through the seemingly endless hours that occured during her time in the box. Eventually, exhaustion became a constant for her. Her muscles were sore and though vital injuries had been healed, a lot of her other injuries were taking much longer recover. She was starving down there, and with the eternal darkness she felt on her skin, she couldn't tell how much time she had left before the end came for her. Yin had never thought she'd lose something as permanent as the light of day. Even the stars hadn't taken that when they disappeared.

For a long time, Yin was sure that such a cruel punishment was against Father's will. She stood before him in a time that seemed so far away now. But she could still remember his holy grace. Within moments he'd convinced her that he was a sort of harbinger justice and mercy. Believing in the idea that Father would be against this, was one of the few things that kept her sane. She was sure he'd never let something like this happen to her. But she was forced to ask herself, where was he now? He was here just the other night. When she was hurt from the brutal battle she'd just experienced, she woke up to Shira alone. Father was nowhere to be found, who's to say he didn't leave as soon as he realized he wouldn't be getting the doll Yin had set out for? Who's to say that he was done wasting his time with an injured member? Yin knew for certain that he had been there when she'd turned up hurt and alone, and considering how torn up Shira was about that doll, it was clear that she meant more to Father than Yin did.

A deep regret burrowed into her heart. She should've stayed with the Syndicate, she should've completed her mission and gotten out of here before it was too late. She never should've joined in on Rinkai's celebration, she should've been searching for info, not withholding it. She never should've let them convince her she was still human. She should've remained a fearful doll. She should've clung to that fear and let it protect her. She thought of Hei, how she called for him so foolishly as they shoved her into this shrunken prison. No plea of hers would ever be answered, not by him or anyone else now. She should've stayed where he could reach her. She should've told him all about murder, drugs, and manipulation the second she was able. He would've protected her then. No one could hurt her when they were together. But now the chance to be him had slipped through her fingers.

Yin shifted a bit to her side. She could already feel the ache before she moved, so she turned slowly. That didn't stop the pain. And the pain didn't stop her from thinking about what she did to Hei. She could still feel the pulse of her movements and the strength behind her attacks. As she watched the scene unfold over and over again in her mind, every stab, every slice of her scythe into his skin left her feeling like she was being cut open. And the sight of his bruise face under his shattered mask made her feel like her organs were being splayed out across the ground.

The thought alone made her curl within herself. It was the only thing that made her feel deserving of this punishment.

She felt the box shift. The box had been still for what seemed like forever, so when she felt the movement she had no idea what direction it was going in. She feared she might've been falling again. After a second tug, she felt the ground leave her through the bottom of the box.

Yin closed her eyes tight, not wanting to let herself believe further. This wasn't happening, she wasn't going up. Believing she was being saved would only end in disaster. All that could come from her hopeful thinking was a lone girl, driven to insanity. She let her mind leave her body. Her thoughts drifted back to Hei as she pictured herself beside him. She wondered if he was okay and hoped with all her heart and soul that he was in better shape than she was. She wished she could take care of him, that she could be with him again.

Yin longed to stretch her legs over his and trace her hand up his chest. She wanted to run her hands through his hair and place her lips along his jawline. She wanted to feel him pull her against him as they struggled closer. She wanted to feel the heat of the sun on her back and feel the cool night's breeze along her skin. She wanted to feel a darkness that wasn't full of fear. One that wasn't so complete. She wanted to feel his fingers trace the constellations on her palm. She wanted to return to the hill they claimed as their own when things at Alucricity were at it's peak.

Yin remembered the runs she used to go on when things there got complicated. She remembered how the turmoil would uncoil itself from her stomach as she picked up speed and let her mind breathe clarity. She missed the wind in her hair and it's cool pressure pushing against her skin. She missed the tickle of grass beneath her bare feet and the satisfying crunch of the leaves and twigs under her powerful legs. She missed how her senses would awaken to the world around her.

Yin had never fully understood why she loved running so much. She imagined letting her mind drift away was the best part of it. It had always been the best way to forgot about the worries Alucricity was constantly piling up within her. At first she'd used it to forget the fear of leaving the Syndicate and the nervousness of meeting Father for the first time. But after meeting him, her running centered around escaping the reality of her killings, of the manipulation she'd faced, of the machine she became when her morals got in the way. Yin figured she just desired the sensation of running away, of getting somewhere. But there was no destination to reach, not for her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar heat on her skin, and the sensation of light beaming down her. She felt a cool breeze caress the palette of her skin and Yin trembled at the realization of what was happening. She heard the quick clutter of voices die down as soon as they laid their eyes on her frail crippled body.

She was above ground.


	34. Chapter 34

Yin ate feverishly, filling her shrunken stomach. Shira returned to her room, filling her tray with a new hot meal. Neither had said a word to one another, their feelings of guilt, rage, and conflict too raw to be spoken of. Yin hadn't even thanked her for the food her life so desperately depended on. Though, Yin half expected Shira to leave her to fend for herself. The fact that such had even crossed her mind meant that Shira owed her this. She'd caused her suffering, and now she would have to make up for it.

Yin recalled the very moment Shira kneeled before her box with a large jug of water. Yin had felt so happy she could've cried. But she was far too dehydrated to generate anything more than a dry sob. A small crowd gathered and pulled her from her hard dark prison. They lifted her above them and carried her inside. They whisked her inside like she was some sort of downtrodden savior. In that moment alone, she didn't feel like a victim, she felt like a survivor. One that was worth protecting.

But now, she felt belligerent. She stood at the edge of unbridled rage the only thing holding her back being the beauty of the memories she'd shared with her family, and the great sorrow generated by those same memories. She wanted to lash out, to demand they acknowledge their cruelty and make them beg for her forgiveness. Yet at the same time, she couldn't believe this had happened. She never imagined she'd suffer so greatly at the hands of the people she loved so dearly. She wasn't prepared for how easily they'd choose a medieval punishment over believing her word. She wanted to grieve the trust that had died in their hateful mouths, in their strong, hungry hands.

Laying her thoughts to rest, Yin slipped into a somewhat peaceful slumber, not feeling Shira's hard stare on her from the doorway.

Shira's eyes rested on the thin form of her surrogate daughter. Her fingers itched to to pull the covers up on her body, to run through her hair and trace a line of affection on Yin's cheek as she pulled away. But she feared she was losing that right. Though Shira regarded her love for Yin as forbidden, she had grieved Yin's absence for every second of the five unholy days she spent in the box. She had to restrain herself several times from raising Yin long before she was due. Shira found herself subconsciously wandering out to the box numerous times. Lingering just before the disturbed dirt that covered Yin's temporary prison, Shira could almost hear a muted scream. Only in drowning herself in the undeniable logic of her orders and the repudiation of the possibility of her loving Yin, was she able to pull away.

Shira knew things wouldn't be the same after this. She had enough experience with this technique to know they never were. But Shira hoped that in time, things would turn around. She longed to soak in just a bit more of the calm loving peace they had contained before this point. Before things would have to get complicated again. Though something in Shira had secretly hoped that her and longing and regret would undo what she'd done. That Yin would somehow sense how she felt, and she'd be forgiven.

But she knew that wasn't how things worked. If she wanted the chance to start over, she'd have to say something. She'd have to make a move and set the grounds for their relationship. She had to prove that she was willing to do anything and start over at any time if it meant Yin could be happy. But she was too ashamed of what she'd done to mention any part of her actions. Even a weak excuse to warm herself up to their new reality wouldn't suffice.

So instead, Shira said nothing. Knowing that feeding the poor girl empty words would only add insult to injury.

* * *

After a few weeks, Yin was up and running again. For a while Shira feared she'd die of malnourishment, but Yin had surprised everyone when she started running again. Once she was up and at it again, the healing process seemed to go much smoother as well. Shira would watch her scale the campgrounds, and as she gazed upon her scarred calves and lightly bruised ankles Shira was reminded very much of herself. She vaguely remembered the late night runs she used to take when everyone was sleeping, and the ones early in the morning, just before the other members arose. She remembered the wind on her skin and in her eyes, sometimes blurring her vision and making the horizon look like some sort of mystical land. She remembered the fast powerful pounding of her heart, and the exhilarating flex of her muscles.

She remembered the freedom.

A sort of youth for the youthful came over her then. A child bloomed in her chest, but she did not long of days of the past or to be anything other than what she was just then. Her mind and body were one, and she'd never felt more like she belonged in her own skin than in those moments. But somewhere between then and now, she'd lost it. In time she'd stopped running, though she subconsciously longed for it, it had become unacceptable to her. Something in her mind had warped. She'd been pulled back down into a place the world told she'd belonged. She remembered the freedom, but she didn't know where it was coming from. Had she been running to feel free, or because she felt free enough to do so?

Looking at Yin, observing the sparks of liberation coming off her, Shira urged herself not to worry about Yin's source of freedom. The Syndicate couldn't inspire this in her. Only Alucricity could give her the independence the young girl exuded. Shira decided that this place was her freedom. That she was trying to feel for it again. Yin was finally rediscovering the freedom that drew her in from the beginning.

But Shira couldn't have been more wrong. Maybe once upon a time she ran _because_ of her freedom, but that was in the past, and she and Yin are not the same. Yin ran to ease herself of the growing weight she was beginning to feel. To keep herself going day by day. Just as she had been throughout certain points in her time with Alucricity, she was running to imitate the sensation of freedom. It was the only thing keeping her from shriveling up and letting her mind from turn to static. It was the only thing keeping her from reverting back into an order following puppet.

Though she still harbored a now tortured love for the people she'd connected with and the glorious idea of Alucricity's meaning, -of which she'd romanticized-there was another thing keeping her here. The gnawing fear had developed within her chest. What had been a place of safety and solace had become a place of danger. Shira, someone she'd loved had taken advantage of her. In her moment of weakness she'd lost her temper -for a reason Yin couldn't fathom- and allowed herself to lash out at her violently.

The five days she spent underground felt like forever to her. The panic, fear, regret, and sorrow she experienced during every crippling second she endured down there were not something that could easily be forgotten. She wanted more than anything to be comfortable there again, but her trust had been broken. She wished there was someone she could turn to, but there wasn't a single person here who spoke out against what happened to her. Not a single person who hadn't cheered for her incarceration. Not a single person who hadn't encouraged the contortion of her limbs as they pushed her into that box.

Maybe she wouldn't have depended on the few strangers of the clan for everything in her life, but she did trust them with her humanity. She thought this was a place of safety and acceptance but she knew now that in truth, there isn't and never has been anyone she could turn to. At times, she thought of seeking out Tai. Of telling her that she knew how she felt. That she knew how scared and alone she must feel all the time. How trapped she truly was. But Yin was ashamed. Though Tai had never explicitly said anything, she warned her in so many little ways. In subtle gestures and pieces of advice that had once angered Yin greatly. Tai tried to tell her that she didn't know everything about this place. That not all their intentions were good-

But Yin hated when Tai made such large claims. Yin was certain that Tai had been down in that cellar all her life. That she knew nothing of this place or its people. But Yin was forced to face the possible reality that her very peers had put her down there. That maybe.. even Shira played a part in this. Yin feared that if she went down there, if she looked at that girl's smaller than average form and dove into her large sealed eyes, she'd come face to face with a truth she could hardly accept. She knew things would never be the same after that.

* * *

Her room was no longer alive. The disorganized mess that Shira believed kept her tied here no longer existed. All her old trinkets and crafts had been packed away. The room was bare of the decorations she and Shira had made together. Yin remembered how Shira had excitedly insisted they decorate the room together after she declared she wanted to join. She figured waiting for Rinkai to return so he could be apart of the celebration had made Shira impatient so Yin indulged in it despite herself. After a few weeks of being outside the box, she decided to take it all down. Just knowing they were there made her too sad to think. And having them around only it harder for her to leave.

Yin reached under bed for all the essentials she packed down there. Under the cover of night she slipped out the front door. But she stopped short, hearing a creak behind her. Every muscle in her body stilled, even her heart seemed to pause for a moment before pounding in her chest as hard as it could.

"Yin?" Shira called, speaking to her for the first time since she arose from the box. Remembering the negative connotation associated with Yin's name, Shira caught herself. "Oh-! I mean- is it-? Can I call you that...? I wasn't trying to..."

"I don't mind," Yin had never heard Shira sound so uneasy. Her voice held a softness that told of hiding. Like she was tucking herself away into a calm that wasn't quite her own, one that she couldn't yet grasp. She seemed desperate for a closeness, and yet willingly distant. A protective distance meant to shield her heart from suffering. Yin could tell her mind was somewhere else, so figured she might still have a chance at this.

"You going out for a run?" Shira's eyes were faraway, glazed over.

Yin opened her mouth to confirm, it being the perfect cover she hadn't thought of. But Shira cut her off prematurely.

"I used to run too, back in the day..." Shira voice trailed off. "There's a weird beauty in it. Isn't there...?"

"Yeah," Yin replied, wanting to leave, but at the same time wanting to understand. The way she spoke made it sound like she knew. Like she knew the secret of what happens out in those fields.

"You're so beautiful out there Yin..." Shira stared off into space. "...I remember..."

"Shira?" Yin could feel her eyes burn past her.

Listlessly, Shira disappeared back into her room without answering. Yin pushed her worry down into her stomach and walked out the door.


	35. Chapter 35

Yin roamed through the dead streets of Tokyo, steadily making her way to her destination. She knew of only one place she could retreat to. Only one place she could rely on to live as a refugee. She scaled around to the back of the building, wanting her presence to remain a secret. She was surprised to find the window unlocked. Though she was worried someone else might've been able to break in just as easily, she was glad she wouldn't have to disturb him in the middle of the night. Sliding the window open, she shifted her torso inside, pushing the potted flower aside before climbing in all the way.

Yin tried to close the window as silently as possible, but she heard him rouse behind her at the sound of it clicking closed. She flinched slightly, and turned.

"Yin..?" He moaned sleepily from behind her. He sounded aware of her presence, and yet unsure at the same time. As if he'd woken up in the middle of the night and imagined her form within his house numerous times before. It was as though he knew how realistically his mind could conjure her image up to be during the moments in between sleep and life.

"Hei," Yin turned to him.

Not expecting an answer, his senses lit up with life at the sound of his name being breathed out by the girl. He sat up hurriedly, ignoring the groan of his wounds and the soreness of his muscles. He tried to stand, but mobility still took a lot out of him. He clutched his ribs, taking a knee.

Yin rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around his larger frame. She pushed him back down, her hands studying the wounds beneath the bandages that covered practically every inch of him. As her fingers traced every cut, bruise, and gash upon his body she was struck with a guilt so intense that it dizzied her. She could think of nothing but the pain she inflicted on him. Every movement, every strike she imposed on him flashed across her mind as she touched him. She knew the exact angle her scythe had been in as her fingers danced on his skin. She could tell just how deep his stab wounds were as if she were piercing through his body at that very instant.

Her face crumpled in in shame and sorrow. Yin immediately regretted coming. She had no right to stand beside him after all the pain she's caused him. After everything they'd been through, everything he'd done for her... she attacked him. She attacked him and she left him out in the middle of nowhere. The fact that he'd made it home at all was a miracle. He could've bled out right then and there with the way she abandoned him. The tears built up in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks before she could even work up the desire to stop them.

Hei reached up to her, and under the glow of the starlight he finally got a clear look at her. He sucked in a sharp breath. His muscles tensed as he took in the sight of her.

 _"Yin,"_ His voice was deeper than usual, panicked and demanding at the same time. He seemed more awake than ever now.

Yin's eyes widened as she felt his stare burn into her. He eyed the purple bruise healing on her cheek and Yin shrunk away from him. She had hoped the cover of darkness would hide the injuries he'd inflicted on her. Even if it was only for tonight.

"What _happened?_ " His blue orbs scanned her, as he found a scar forming on her shoulder. "Yin... _-oh god_ _Yin_..." His hands lowered to the hem of her shirt and she tried to push him away.

"No, Hei... please don't..." Her weakened voice begged, not wanting him to discover anything more. But she was weak with guilt and sorrow, and he was strong with the determination to protect her.

He ignored her and pulled her shirt up, uncovering the dark blue bruise covering most of her ribs. _"_ _No,_ _"_ He moaned through gritted teeth. As if the firmness of his voice would undo her pain. He placed a now shaky hand to her ribs, his fingers just beneath her breast. Angry tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and though he tried to blink them away, they simply would not fade.

 _"Who?"_ He demanded. Yin would've been scared had she not known it was only Hei.

"It's okay, I.. -I'm okay,"

"Who hurt you, Yin?" His hands covered her shoulders, they shook with the desire to squeeze her tightly, but he held back as if every inch of her were in agonising pain. "I'll take care of them you _know_ that-"

"Hei.. you don't...-you don't understand..."

Hei stared deeply into her fearful, conflicted eyes. He pulled her to him and enveloped her in a consoling hug. He pushed his body further into hers, unable to stop himself. The pain of his own injuries were far from his mind. "How could I let this happen?" Hei moaned to himself.

Yin nodded her head. "It's not your fault," She reassured him, though she knew well that he played a bigger part in this than he realized. Though he had been the one to hurt her, she know he didn't mean any of it. Even without him knowing it was her, he'd shown her mercy. He was only doing his job, she couldn't fault him for that. And despite her only doing hers, she still couldn't stand herself for hurting him. She was sure that if he had known it was her under that mask, he wouldn't have fought. But Yin, she had known.

Yin fought him ruthlessly in spite of the possibility of killing him. Somehow, even though he was just as aggressive with her as she was with him, she was having such a hard time forgiving herself for doing what she did. And to make matters worse, here she was in his arms listening to him lament the protection he failed to provide. She hated him for being so concerned and attentive, it only made her longing for redemption stronger.

He pulled away from her slightly, but kept their bodies close, maintaining the warmth between them. He locked his intense gaze onto her retreating eyes and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Please Yin, I need to know."

Yin pressed her hand against his, her other hand gliding up the side of his neck.

"Do they hurt you at Alucricity?"

"Oh, god.." Yin turned away from him. She still wanted to defend them, but at the same time she knew how dangerous they were becoming. Hearing him accuse them of such a thing... it made her consider how possible such an outcome was.

"Is this- Yin look at me-..." Hei tried to turn her to him, but she refused, feeling dejected and miserable. "...is this the first time they've beaten you?"

"Please, Hei..."

He listened to her shaky voice and let her unsettled body reach out to him. He could tell he wouldn't be able to get it out of her now, but he promised himself this wouldn't be the last time she'd hear of it. She had to have come here for a reason. Peeking over at the bag by the window he could tell she was hoping to stay.

He kissed her bruised cheek all over and ran his fingers along the burn marks on her neck that he had yet to realize were from his wire. Yin simmered beneath his touch, astonished at the sharp contrast between the violence the black reaper possessed and the softness Hei could convey to her alone. She ran her fingers through his hair, and gave a tired after-cry sigh.

"Are you hurting?" He asked.

"You're hurting," Yin replied.

 _"Yin,"_

"It's not that bad, I-" Yin leaned into him. "..They healed me a little..."

"Yin I-...I'm so sorry,"

Yin wanted to tell him that she deserved it, that she was unworthy of his pity. But she knew that would go nowhere. He would only chastise her and that would only inspire her shame to burn hotter than before. She felt him flinch against her and she knew he was hiding his pain for her sake. She instantly regretted getting healed, even if it were only partially. She should be suffering just as much he was. She should be lying in bed, barely able to move herself. As he began to lean into the hug further, using the gesture more as a means of support now rather than a hug, she remembered what she came here for.

She felt like she had to prove herself. To make up for what she's done by being there for him. Now more than ever he needed someone to take care of him, and she was just the person. She hoped it would erase the memory of the violent discourse that had occured between them. For the most part, she hadn't taken his actions personally, she'd only considered them a repercussion for her own. But she couldn't deny that there were times when her mind slipped into a darkness she didn't know she'd even possessed. She remembered how he'd brutally assaulted her towards the end of the fight. How he came down on her like mercy wasn't an option.

There was no lie in the fact that she'd dreamed of that moment numerous times in the box. That sometimes she'd let herself believe that his attacks were a personal assault on her character, on his feelings for her. She feared that she'd never know of his compassion again after this. That he'd kill her and this would be the last thing she'd ever feel, the last thing she'd ever know. At times, Yin was able to convince herself, despite her own feelings, that there was a secret meaning behind his bloodied fists. That something about the masked fighter he'd faced had reminded him of her. After all, he had brought her up while they were fighting, maybe something in him had clicked. Maybe he'd secretly thought of her when he attacked.

All she could remember was his violence. The battering of his fists, the puncture of his knife against her skin. And things back at Alucricity only made things worse. One after another people loved, people she couldn't imagine hurting her, abused her body and left her without a kind sensation to remind her of better times. At times, her scalp throbbed at the memory of Shira's harsh tug. And the injuries Hei had inflicted on her lingered longer than necessary due to the tortures of the box. She remembered nights of long ago. Nights of coming home after a late night with Hei. How the warmth within the feel of his kiss on her neck, the squeeze of his fingers on her hips, and the brush of his palm on her back would remain with her deep into the night.

But for the past few weeks all she had were the hope of a nightmare-less night to quell her. Even then, the soreness of her injuries would still shock her awake throughout the night. That was why she needed this now more than ever. She needed to replace these feelings, to renew the ones she had before. She needed to make sure that things could go back to how they were. So she would nurse him back to health. She would feel the strength return to his body under her nurturing hands. She would feel not only the softness of his vulnerability, but the softness of his genuine tenderness. Before returning, she'd forgotten that was still something he'd harbored for her.

"Hei, lie down," Yin pushed him down. Hei tried to resist, wanting to take care of her instead, but he fell weak under her touch.

He reached up to stroke her cheek as she leaned over him. He watched helplessly as tears continued to brim in her eyes.

"This is my fault," He concluded.

Yin shook her head from side to side. "Don't say that,"

Hei turned away from her, feeling that she was blind even to the truth. He glared angrily out into the dark nothingness in the corner of the room. He tunneled the anger he boiled back to himself as he felt more and more unworthy of her presence with each passing second. In his mind, he'd allowed this to happen. He was careless with her safety and now she was forced to return to him like this. He didn't know how, but he should've seen this coming, he should've known she was in danger.

He hadn't realized it before, but somewhere along the way he'd vowed to himself that he'd protect her. He'd never really thought about it, he just knew that he wanted -needed her to be safe. There was a time when it had been necessary. Nothing more than a crucial element to maintaining the effectiveness of his job. Then it morphed into a desire, a conscious commitment to her happiness and wellbeing. As time went on, his newfound respect for the emotions only he could see had pushed him to defend her humanity.

He believed protecting her had become somewhat of an instinct to him. But as time went on, his love for her had allowed him to sacrifice his protection for Yin's pursuit of freedom. In between thoughts he figured this would've been easier had she left him earlier. Had she taken up Kastinen's offer to live with him, things would've been so much simpler. They wouldn't be able to see each other on a regular basis, and though that would've saddened him to a certain degree, he could live with it. If he ever found out that she'd been hurt, he would merely accept that there was nothing he could do about it. She would have to rely on Kastinen, on herself. He could stop caring for her as much as he did.

But he saw her frequently, even though she was apart from him. He thought of her in the moments between their meetings, and day after day she became his final thought before he drifted to sleep at night. Though they were no longer partners, they were in such constant contact that he still felt obligated to protect her. But he pushed those thoughts away, noticing the deep contrast between them. Noticing how disconnected he'd been before, how easily he might've been able to pull away from her. But he knew now that this definitely isn't the case now. He didn't want to think of what had changed. Of what led him to feel as though he couldn't live without her.

But he couldn't shake the fact that he'd failed to protect her. He let her wander off to an organization he knew nothing about, and now they'd hurt her. He didn't know for sure if it was them, or if she'd gotten injured during a job, but either way, it all boiled down to to the fact that he'd left her alone. He should've made sure she safe, that there was nothing in her wake that could hurt her. His heart sank. It was Trevor all over again. She'd depended on him, and in a moment of obliviousness he had unwittingly let her down. He'd put her in danger. Except this time he wasn't so lucky. She didn't turn up fine. He wasn't pleasantly surprised by a better turn of events. And he never should've expected to be. He knew how things were, contractors and dolls alike could never catch a break. Life for them was one tragedy after another.

He should've seen the signs. He remembered when she returned after joining officially. how distant and closed off she'd act after those seven odd months apart. The fact that she felt the need to lie for them, to polish the truth to make them more presentable should've been the first strike with him. He knew she was hurting and he let her go back to them. But through letting her go, he knew he would have to trust in her ability to protect herself and accept that her choices were now her own. It was wrong of him to think that he could stop this.

Looking up at her now, he felt a sharp sting of guilt plunge through his chest and ripple throughout his body. She was here of all places. She was bruised and battered, yet she was here. He was ashamed that this was a place of refuge for her. That she'd sought out his home for safety. And she ran her fingers over his injuries, he felt them burn under her touch. His body would've recoiled in shame if he had the strength. He felt her shake slightly with the vulnerability of her tears and he felt his own prick at the corner of his eyes again as watched her. He wondered how long she'd been holding her tears in. He wondered how she could ever consider this a safe enough place to let it all out.

As he laid there, left motionless by the aches he couldn't rid himself of, he'd never felt so weak. So useless. How could he let himself get hurt while she was in danger? Not only had he failed to protect her, but he was failing to take care of her, even in the aftermath. He went pale, his eyes sick with shame.

"Hei," Yin called. He was unable to cope with the softness of her voice. He turned, pressing his face into her hand.

"I'm _so_ sorry Yin," He kissed her palm. "This'll never happen again."

Yin took in the softness of his gesture, letting the sensation flood the memory of their fight. She sought him out deeper, her hand pressing softly against his chest. Her finger glided across soft surface of his skin, no longer seeking out his wounds, but the roots of his affection. Seeking to entangle herself with them. She leaned down, her nose tracing the skin of his cheek as her lips closed around his jaw. She slipped her tongue out to dip into his heated flesh.

Hei drew in a deep breath. He felt a warmth gathering in his chest as she kissed him. An excited rush built up in his stomach and ran up into his heart as her tongue roamed the palette of his skin. He slipped a hand beneath her shirt, his arm coiling around the naked skin of her back as she slid down closer to him. Her body pressed against him, but she continued to hover, afraid to hurt him with her weight. He felt shivers run up and down his body as she pecked and sucked on his throat.

He pressed his hand into the back of her head, wanting to feel the fullness of her passion. He wasn't quite sure why, but something had changed in way she kissed him. Whenever they had interactions of this nature it had always been classified as something unreal, impossible. Their relationship had always been a sort 'maybe'. It had always consisted of the two of them standing just beyond the fine line of the appropriate. Blurring the reality of what is, what isn't, what could be, and what _should_ be.

A physical touch between them was more than just a sensation. It was a reach beyond the walls of the social structures that kept their minds encased. It was an act of defiance, a gift of sacrifice. A gesture of compassion and comfort for both parties, no matter who was making a move. In the life of a contractor, unnecessary motions were forbidden, unnatural. The desire for anything of the sort was grounds for subjugation, for tortuous scientific research. The laws of their world were strict and defiance only threatened humanity's complete and utter control of their kind.

Nothing worthwhile could come from their relationship, from their seemingly unnatural infatuation with each other. But when they reached out to one another, when they took a shot and transmissions hit home, it completely warped the priorities that had been set up for them. It brought them a step closer to understanding that they actually mattered to someone else on a personal level. That someone like them, someone who was classified as inhuman had seen their emotions as valid and cared about them more than the danger of expression.

They'd been through all this together, and though they hadn't meant for things to go this far their relationship had developed into something far beyond the limiting spectrum reserved for contractors and dolls. But they were both still holding back, still trying to preserve a piece of themselves while desperately wanting to give it away. They feared that going any further in whatever this was would make it too real, too valuable to lose. And they both knew where there was value, it would snuffed out, stolen, destroyed. So they had silently elected to stay in this unreal, permanent and yet temporary state.

But Hei couldn't feel Yin's commitment to that unspoken promise on her part. Not this time. She was laying herself bare, unshackling her chains and giving herself the freedom to do as she pleases. Not only did he feel too guilty to deny her, but he'd longed for this as well. At this point, he couldn't remember a time when he hadn't desired with every fibre in his being to give all himself to her. To release the reigns he gripped so tightly on himself and let himself just roam freely. But even now, as he longed for her with everything in him, he held himself apart from her. Not ready to see what this would become.

The world around Hei stopped as Yin did. As if she had the power to still time through the sheer force of her will alone. She leaned over him, her eyes staring deep into his. Though she was blind, he could see so much of her through her eyes. As she stared at him, he felt like she could feel his eyes on her too, like she could feel his fear. In her eyes were uncertainty, a confession of how unsure she was of what this was becoming. But her eyes also held valor. She was willing to go through with this if it meant what they had could grow into something of their own. Something beautiful.

As he allowed himself to be swallowed by her gaze, he let himself be relieved. He forgot his fear, his apprehension. For a second, he was ready for whatever would come next. For the danger, the out-lash. He wanted to make this real, to give all of himself away to her without calculating any and every possibility of betrayal, of loss. He was done being scared of depths of his emotions and the strength they had on his decisions. He knew she could show him the way, she could support him in ways no one else was capable of. And he would support her. If anything was certain, that was the only thing he'd ever wanted to do.

Yin's eyes slid to shut as she closed the space between them. Her lips pressed softly against his, tentatively asking for permission. Asking if this could ever be okay. Hei kissed back firmly, fully embracing the sparks brewing between them. He cupped her cheek, pulling her closer. Yin let the softness of his mouth override her senses, allowing it to flood the memory of the violent history they now shared. She forgot the story of how her injuries formed, only remembering the feel of this moment. The feel of his soft skin and the solid steady muscle beneath him. The feel of his desire melding with her's, giving her longing a form of validation.

Heat swelled in them as the nervous air around them dissipated. Their mouths opened, engulfing each other fully. Hei swallowed the sweetness of her breath as the soft pressure of her tongue gave him new life. The two pressed together as one entity as they pushed forth. Past all the guilt and suffering they'd endured. They decided that for this one moment, they'd let it be vanquished in the light they were creating together. The tenderness of their lips was something neither partner had known, something none had discovered with anyone else. Their hearts pounded as faces reddened and feelings of admiration for one another swelled.

Hei pulled her to him, as a feverish passion flushed through him. His eyes fluttered open as a desire to look at her grew in him. His breath caught in his throat as he gazed at the red blush that painted her cheeks. The glow of her silver hair seemed to be the brightest thing in the room. The brightest thing in his life. Her long eyelashes fluttered closed in a desire that had unwittingly stirred something powerful in him.

As he peeked at her, he remembered how he used to see her. She didn't seem to be the beautiful and alluring woman that lied against him now. Back then, there was no reason to assess how attractive she was. As far as he was concerned, his romantic life was over. Irrelevant. Unless romance served some sort of purpose in a mission, there was no need for it. To him she had been nothing more than a doll. That was what had defined her, and nothing about what she looked like could change that. Nothing about her past, or the numbed longing within her to become something new could change what he had been sure she was.

He remembered the first time she'd grabbed his hand. He was on the brink of doing something rash, having had his share of his argument with Huang about Havoc. Just as he was about to storm off, he'd felt it. Her hand clutching his. Unprecedented. Unwarranted. It disgusted him how illogical it was. It annoyed him that she had the nerve to do such a thing when he was already as furious as he was. Through his rage and his own prejudice against his kind, he couldn't feel her reaching for him. He couldn't feel her trying to express what her mind wouldn't allow her to say. He was numb to the warmth that flurried above her skin when she allowed herself to be open like this. He had snatched his hand away from her. It was so aggressive and demeaning that it made the perfect substitute for a slap in the face.

But after all the time they'd spent together, after all the times she'd reached out to him only for him to shut her out... it made him realize that something had changed. For a while he'd thought it was her, that she was the one growing and changing. And she was, but she wasn't the only one. The only thing that had truly grown was Hei's perspective, and that gave Yin the room to change and recover what she had lost ever since she'd become a doll. It was only when Hei began to realize that Yin was more than just a doll that he could see her as something else. When he looked at her now, he could see just how beautiful she truly is. How beautiful she'd always had been. He was baffled at how oblivious he was able to be for so long.


	36. Chapter 36

Hei awoke to the blinding glare of the sun against his closed eyes. He cracked one open in annoyance, wishing for a few more hours of rest. He turned away from the sun, feeling strands of hair tickle his chest as he shifted. He stilled as he stared down at the blanket of silver hair that littered across his chest and abs. He gazed at the small bruised figure lying beside him, her face tucked into the crook of his neck, a leg of hers resting atop one of his own. He felt his arm under her and squeezed her tightly. A warmth swelled in his center as he remembered all that had happened the night before.

The memory of her soft lips and the tender pull of her kiss came back to him in vivid detail. As he remembered the sweetness of her tongue and the taste of their essences mingling he wondered how he could ever forget such a sensation. Looking down at her, he recalled that same forgotten beauty he'd rediscovered last night. One that he might've looked over in the past. Hei still found it baffling that he couldn't recognize all that she was before. All that she could become.

But then he remembered her tears. He remembered a body covered in shallow wounds and dark bruises. He remembered how her body recoiled under his gaze, and away from him. Not wanting to be seen, or touched. Wishing to become something unheard of. His heart reflected the rage he felt then. The worry that struck him and demanded answers. The shame that made him shrink into himself and made him feel unworthy of her support and concern. The shame that urged him to lock himself away, only to be drawn out by her kiss alone.

He watched her slowly open her eyes as a finger instinctively traced the surface of his skin. He smiled at her pink cheeks and bright eyes. She looked up at him, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek. Her thumb wandered over the surface of his soft lips. The two sat up and Hei pulled her closer, tilting her head up giving himself more access to her lips.

"Hei," Yin called, slowly succumbing to his alluring pull.

He leaned in closer, tasting her breath and feeling the essence of her flesh as it neared him. "Can I kiss you?" He asked, as if last night had never happened. As if their moment together had only been apart of a lucid dream he was having. As if them sharing a moment like that could only a product of some sort of twist of reality.

Her eyes slid to a close as she answered by eliminating the distance between them. They came together again, their lips pushing against each other like the tides' soft collision with the shore. Their senses awoke as they re-familiarized themselves with the pleasure of this newfound intimacy. Hei pressed his lips against her firmly, feeling her tongue seep into his mouth and stir up a swirl of pleasure only she could activate within him.

They pulled apart, their mouths hovering over one another. The warm air that pushed from their lungs sprung forth and littered their bodies with a warmth that would simmer in them throughout the day.

The moment was interrupted however, by the rumble of their empty stomachs. Hei slid out from under her, grunting as he stood on two wounded and unsure legs. He stumbled and shifted his torso to lean against the wall beside him. Yin shot up, her features alight with worry.

"Hei!" She cried. "Don't stand!"

"It's okay, I'm fine."

"You're not!" Yin placed a hand on his chest and slipped her other hand behind him. "Lie back down, you should rest..."

"You're hungry aren't you?" He placed a quick kiss to her forehead. "Let me make us some breakfast. It'll be quick."

She tucked herself under his arm and coaxed him into leaning onto her smaller frame. "At least let me walk you..."

The two waddled over to the open kitchen despite Hei's reluctance to receive help. Looking at the bruises that littered her skin he feared his weight alone would harm her. Though he was in much worse shape than her, he wanted to offer all his support. He wanted to dedicate himself to her. Seeing her hurt, knowing it was a product of his neglect, it made him feel unworthy of her help.

Yin could hardly feel his weight on her, but she could feel his trembling muscles and the push of his lungs as he tried to steady himself without her support. She sighed, wishing he was more compliant towards her attempts to take care of him. She was the reason for his suffering, she'd put him in this position. She'd hid her fault behind a mask and even now she was too cowardly to confess to her treachery. Tending to his every need was the only thing that could ease the weight off her now heavy soul.

"What are you making?" She asked as he gathered supplies from several corners of the kitchen.

"It's okay Yin," He answered, knowing what she wanted.

"I can make it," Yin offered eagerly. "I really don't mind."

"It's fine, Yin." Hei replied strongly, wanting to instill in her a confidence in his abilities. "I can take care of both of us,"

Yin clung to him. "You shouldn't need to..."

"Yin...?"

"...Pancakes?" Yin questioned, her fingers running over the pancake mix box. "I can make them for you!"

"...Can you?" Hei nearly laughed, mirth seeping through his voice. He'd always been the one to cook for them, what with his big appetite he had a lot of practice. He couldn't imagine the blind girl cooking for him. Having spent most of her life as a doll, he doubted she'd ever learned how to cook.

Yin's cheeks flushed as an odd heat burned in her chest. "I can try!" She felt her lips press into a pout as her eyebrows furrowed. She stopped for a moment, realizing that she recognized this sensation. She'd felt it often as a child. She had always been easily flustered as a girl. Yin had almost forgotten what the stubborn pout she constantly wore felt like. Her pout dissolved into a soft smile however, finding it hard to remain embarrassed when rediscovering an emotion that reminded her of the pleasant past she had.

But she was snapped out of her reverie at the sound of Hei's adamant objection. Studying his tattered and disabled state, Yin knew she would have to hold fast. She rejected his demands to take care of her, her guilt pushing her to do more for him. Her chest filled with determination as she decided she wouldn't allow him to lift a finger for neither himself or her. Not while she was around. Not while she was living with the memory of what she'd done.

Hei sighed, trying to insist that he was fine on his own. But despite how persistently he tried to dismiss her, she was painfully stubborn. Especially for a doll. So he let her fret over the ingredients. He wanted to let his heart be lifted by her confused determination, he wanted the bubble of laughter to rise in his throat and let him forget about himself. But as he looked at her, he could hardly see past the injuries she bore. He stared intently at the bruises that peeked out at the sun, and the forming scars that ran along her exposed skin. His eyes burned a hole into the abstract painting of pain hidden beneath her clothes.

 _'It should be me,'_ He thought to himself. _'I should be carrying those scars,'_

Hei couldn't stop himself from agonizing over what he'd let happen to her. And the fact that he still didn't know just what had happened. He mood darkened as stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her. Yin tensed under him, sensing the tainted atmosphere. He clung to her tightly, trying to apologize, to protect. Trying to soak up the marks on her skin and let them darken the marks on his.

"Hei..?" Yin gently grabbed at the arms draped across her shoulders.

"Never again," His nose pressed against the back of her ear, his breath tickling the side of her neck.

"Hei..." Yin sucked in a breath at the feel of his closeness.

"I'll never let this happen to you again." Hei tried to hide the darkness that was beginning to envelope his eyes.

Yin turned to him, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek. "I'm _okay,_ alright? You're the one who needs my help."

Hei pressed his lips against her forehead. "I don't ever want you going back there," He spoke against her skin.

Yin sighed, not wanting to think about or fully admit to how bad things had gotten at Alucricity. She knew things were getting dangerous, and a big part of her considered her other options -which were very few- but she still wasn't sure about leaving yet. All she knew for sure was that she needed Hei. She needed to be with him, to remember what it felt like to be supported and encouraged without feeling like she owed him something in return. Of course she felt the need to repay him at times, but she knew his opinion of her would shift simply because she wouldn't obey his command.

"Things are... complicated right now, but I don't think they're all bad..." Yin reassured, uncertainty sprinkled throughout her tone.

"I don't care." Hei squeezed tighter, reminding himself of the snug way she fit into his arms. "I want you here with me,"

Yin leaned into him, feeling the vibrations rippling through his chest as he spoke. "I need you with me..."

Yin stepped into to his hold, pressing herself against him. She stood on her toes, stretching her body toward his and planting a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed back full heartedly, letting the gentle pull of her soft lips calm him.

"I want to be here for you," Yin confided. "You know I'd never just leave."

They stood together for a long time, their melded bodies soothing the souls of one another if only for a moment.

* * *

For months, Hei kept a smuggled Yin in his apartment. Together they developed methods for avoiding Huang and making sure they weren't seen together by anyone important. Hei made sure that Yin had her spectre out before he answered the door, that way she'd see the signal -a thumb tucked between Hei's first and middle finger. Yin became a master at ducking behind the kitchen counter and slipping into the next room whenever the signal was given -a thumb tucked between Hei's first and middle finger. She became the airless weight beneath the disarray of blankets he sometimes left out for her to hide in. -And if all the elements were just right, all she had to do was remain rooted in a perfect stillness.

As time passed, she was able to move even without the signal. She could tell by the tense in his shoulders and the immediate hardening of his voice that he was being approached by Huang.

Despite the growing threat of Huang, they couldn't find it in themselves to let fear envelope them. Though they still couldn't help but worry over one another at times, they clung to each other when the heat of conflict was upon them. For the most part, their union had become a place of protection and warmth. A home without a house. And when the couple looked to the Ascensia, they found that it's grand, ever stretching stem being kept strong by the fully developed roots and the budding flower head that had sprouted between the healthy leaves had perfectly reflected what had happened between them.

Despite the panic they'd felt for each other, they'd managed to find a moment of solace. Of peace. And in that moment they were finally able to come together and fully embrace the relationship that had developed between them. A relationship that they had grown and yet denied the core aspects of in order to avoid the downsides of its complexity. But now that the air around them had been liberated, the flower finally had the strength to grow. And so did they.

So when Hei was ordered to go back to work despite how obviously unfit he was to handle the gruesome tasks his job demanded, Yin would force herself to look at the Ascensia. She would look at what they'd built together and remember how frail and stubborn the thing had been when they first planted it. She would remember the hard times and understand that there was still so much more to see once they overcame the struggle. Things wouldn't- couldn't clear up out of nowhere. She would have to tough it out. And trust in him was all she needed. Trust in the fact that even though he would get hurt, and she might not always be able to help him- he wouldn't blame her. He wouldn't hate her.

Hei couldn't fight her persistence either. Though there were moments when she'd let him off the hook, she still pushed past him to take care of everything, despite her domestic skills being subpar. Seeing her even slightly hurt and having to watch her take care of him at the same time made him feel utterly useless. He too felt as if he'd failed her in a way. But when he looked to the flower, -often peeking at it when Yin was unaware- he knew she wouldn't hold it against him. She never did.

He remembered when they'd first planted it too. It was meant to be her apology to him, an apology he didn't need. He remembered how she'd turned away from him, how alien and isolated he'd felt. When he looked at her now, he finally understood how deeply she wanted to be him. And he knew he'd always feel the same. Though he doubted the Ascensia was some magical flower that would keep them protected, he knew something about it kept them together. It had been planted in a new form of togetherness, and became a promise. A promise to fight for their relationship, and for whatever it might become. And he couldn't say he wasn't pleased with the outcome.


	37. Chapter 37

Yin awoke with a start. Her heart pounded in her chest as she gasped for air. She closed her eyes tightly and pressed her index finger and her thumb against the bridge of her nose in an attempt to shake the images from her nightmare away.

Hei shuffled beside her, propping himself up on one of his elbows, he looked up at her. "Another nightmare?"

For a while, Yin gave no answer. Wanting desperately to deny the horrors she was beginning to experience each night.

"It's nothing," She reassured him. "You don't need to worry about it."

His arms circled around her as he pulled her against him. He gently pushed her head into his chest as he cradled her. She was unresponsive for a moment, but within seconds she clung to him as if he held her very life in his hands. He brushed her bangs to the side and placed fleeting kisses upon her forehead. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and she fought to remain silent.

For the past few weeks Yin's mind had become a cesspool of guilt, fear, and apprehension. If wasn't evident during the day, it was definitely alive throughout the night. For Hei's sake, and a bit of her own, she hid the discourse she felt toward running away from Alucricity so abruptly and at such a sensitive time by pretending to be completely content. But her brain seemed intent on torturing her with vivid scenarios involving some of the deepest fears she secretly harbored toward Alucricity when the night took hold of her consciousness.

For a while she thought she could forget about what had happened there. About the history they shared and the invisible ties that she had yet to realize would affect her so deeply. In the beginning, it seemed that just being with Hei was enough. But she still couldn't find it in her to forgive herself for what she did to him. The fact that he stood by her, committing to their new relationship whilst still not knowing what she had done... it made her feel like she was getting away with something. Feeling undeserving of her relationship while knowing she'd never be accepted at Alucricity again, life for Yin became almost desolate. And as Hei continued to comfort her the nightmares became more frequent, forcing her to face the fact that she was now left in a state of mental disarray.

Yin felt guilty for even wanting to go back after the way they treated her. She should feel blessed to have a safe and secure home with a tender lover to take solace in! She knew of so many other members who had Alucricity as their only means of support. And though she was appreciative of the life she and Hei shared, she still found herself pushing away thoughts of Shira's wellbeing as she imagined how worried she must be. Or of whether or not Tai was being fed enough, if at all. Sometimes, she even thought of Rinkai. She'd vaguely wonder if he missed her, or even if he was worried about her too. But her thoughts of him would never linger, for she would always remember his passiveness toward her abuse and realize he wasn't worth thinking about.

Though Yin tried to conceal her feelings, she couldn't fight the reoccurring dreams that plagued her at night. Illusions of Shira's grief stricken face, her shaky hands rushing to keep everything Yin had left behind in order.. her trembling body struggling to prepare the makeshift funeral for a death that hadn't happened physically yet. But as Yin's ghostly dream form would watch in petrified silence, she understood that in running away, she had become dead to them. That the nothing they were burying was synonymous with the shell she was living in now.

Of course memories of the box would return to her at night as well, but the people pushing her in were ever changing. Some nights Rinkai came after her. Shoving her in, his face blank, eyes unreadable. But when she looked into them, she knew there was never anything to discover in them anyway. Whenever Shira made an appearance her face was ghastly, a dangerous contortion of the grim expression she might of worn that fateful day.

But the worst of the trio was the pale mask that towered over her. As much as she tried to fight it, she couldn't stop herself from swallowing the sight of the purple streak that ran over left eyehole, or the thin red lipped smile that stretched over the mask despite the deep scowl she was sure he was wearing. Whenever he appeared to deliver her punishment, she'd find herself in uniform. Yin would howl his name, confessing her sins through revealing her identity, but he wouldn't hear. Yin wouldn't struggle in the dreams with him. She never felt more deserving of such a inhumane punishment than when he was issuing it. Whenever Yin felt close to forgiving herself, to confessing her actions, the dream would return to her, and the sight of Hei tugging off his uniformed mask and revealing a tear stricken face quaking with fury, her courage would shrivel up within her.

Yin would wake up to hot tears of shame and regret. Somehow the effects of the tragedies that came alive were much harder to wipe off with the back of her hand.

* * *

Yin was quickly becoming uneasy, and Hei couldn't ignore the wellbeing of his unraveling lover.

She became despondent, far away. Far beyond him at least. It was like she was spiralling away from him, away from any semblance of control. He began to feel extremely wary about leaving her alone. He soon became hyper aware of her uneasy stare as he slipped on his ever dark trench coat. And he couldn't help but notice the way she'd cling onto him far longer than usual as he poised to leave. And when he found the strength within him, he would look back as he descended the steps of his apartment complex to find her lingering in the doorway. Never quite looking at him, but her eyes ever begging for his company.

She began to fill his thoughts constantly, and he couldn't deny that his distracted thoughts of her soon lead to injury. Day and night he sought eliminate the the fear that forced her to hold herself apart from him. He knew she was being haunted by nightmares recently, but she refused to speak about them to him. He figured it had something to do with Alucricity, but he wanted- needed her to know that they couldn't find her here. They couldn't hurt her here. This was their sanctuary. Nothing could stop them from being together.

So whenever she ripped herself from the throat of a nightmare, he'd engulf her in his hold. He would pour all his warmth into her and remind her that he was here. At times, when a storm raged on outside Hei found the perfect excuse to squeeze her to him. And when Yin felt herself warming up to his comfort, she too found reason to fold into him. Her nerves would calm and her tensed muscles would find ease.

Though Hei wished he could deny it, he often times found himself fighting back the urge to pester her about her nightly terrors. But he couldn't blame her for wanting to them a secret if they truly terrified her. After all, he wasn't without his secrets... secrets that came awfully close to hers. Though it'd just barely escaped her radar, he'd been having a few nightmares of his own.

It was a strange sensation, dreaming after he'd been without such experiences for so long. It was easier to wrap his mind around the possibility of her dreaming, what with him seeing her as so much more human than he was. But coming to terms with the fact that this was apart of his reality again was a bit more difficult than expected.

Though admitting that he had dreams seemed like an easy enough feat, Hei didn't plan on telling Yin about his dreams any time soon. With all the nightmares she'd been having, he was sure the last thing she needed was to hear tales of the masked warrior that inhabited Hei's.

Hei didn't have such night terrors at first, he'd been injured so gravely he'd hardly remembered anything about the fight. But as soon as she attacked him in his dreams he knew she was the one. They'd fought once before, and it was battle he'd lost, even now. It wasn't often Hei dreamt about being beaten to death, not since he was a child. But these nightmares struck a genuine fear in his heart, reminding him of a sensation he'd nearly forgotten. He figured they terrified him because they were so close to the truth... though he hated to admit it, had Yin not arrived to take for him when she did he was sure he would've died.

But then again, it was the strange connection he always found himself making between Yin and his masked assailant. The way she reacted when Hei brought up Yin still puzzled him. Hei figured he was going to die, so he didn't think much of it, but the ruthless unyielding storm that had sprung between them had stilled completely. He'd mentioned Yin, and but a few days later she returned to him battered and bruised. Hei wanted to allow himself to become consumed by guilt and shame, and maybe some part of him already was- but there were other elements to consider. If she were to kill him as she did during the altered reality Hei experienced at night, he was certain Yin would be next.

One night, during a fit of passion and a swarm of the heat they'd created together, the pair pulled their aching lips apart and swallowed a high off the sweetness of their breaths. Speaking in hushed tones, Hei reminded her of the hill they used to meet under when Yin had first been transferred over to Alucricity. The two delved into nostalgia as they recalled the memories they shared together under the cover of night. He spoke between breaths as he littered her skin with kisses filled with longing and assurance. Yin smiled sadly when he offered to take back for a visit.

She knew seeing it would only stir up dangerous desires, the kind that made you more irrational than any one person should be. But she knew he was suggesting it to get her spirits up. She'd been so paranoid and upset lately, hiding it from him was becoming for too difficult. Her mind was constantly on Alucricity. She felt like she was at the end of her rope, running out of time. She lived like she was being watched, like her every move was being documented and she was just one strike away from some horrible punishment. A growing trepidation swelled in her the longer she stayed with Hei. She knew the longer stayed away from Alucricity, the worse her punishment would become. But she'd already been gone so long that her fear of what they might do kept her from returning to them.

Yin pulled Hei closer, agreeing to revisit their beloved hill.

* * *

Yin hesitated to join in bed Hei the next night. He assumed it was due to the possible nightmares she feared she might have and reassured her that nothing bad could happen as long as she awoke to him. This only made the sorrow within her burrow deeper into her being. How could she leave someone so perfect behind? Even if it was only for a moment, she knew it would be torture.

Yin crawled under the sheets with him, relishing in the feel of his strong arms around him, knowing that it might be the last time in a long time. His excited breath ran over her skin as he pressed himself to her. She knew he was anxious to take her to the hill and she felt a pang of guilt knowing that she wouldn't be going with him tomorrow.

Yin slid her hand under his shirt as her leg slipped between his. Her lips closed around his adam's apple and his cheeks warmed in response. A smoldering heat swelled in his chest as his fingers tangled in her hair, his strong hand gently pushing her further into him. She pulled away from him, She could practically feel the soft mark on his skin that would develop into a dark love bruise in the morning. She traced her fingers along his jaw, her lips targeting his own next. She pounced on him with a fresh passion, a hunger for his sultry flesh. It was so sudden that it inspired a jolting warmth within the pit of his stomach. Warmth vibrated from both their bodies as their fingertips roamed the palette of their skin.

Her tongue pushed past his teeth and she ran the smooth muscle over his. A heavy moan erupted from them as a thick shiver coursed through the pair. Hei's face contorted in a pleasure filled pain as the feverish fit that raged on between them left him disoriented. Yin gathered fist fulls of his hair in an attempt to soothe the coiling in her stomach. The way they ached for one another would make it seem as though they'd never touched each other before.

Once the storm between them died down, the pair settled against each other. Yin laid her head on his chest and listened to his rapid heartbeat and found a momentary solace in their closeness. She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep, waiting for the softness of his breathing to indicate his momentary comatose.

As soon as he fell into a deep sleep, Yin took the opportunity to trace her fingers across his muscular shape. She felt each and every crease in between his abs as well as the hardness beneath his soft skin as she touched his well toned arms and chest. She caressed his strong jaw and ran her fingers over his cheekbones and the length of his nose. Her thumb smoothed over his plush lips and she pressed a soft goodbye kiss against them before pulling away from him completely.

"Goodbye, Hei..." Yin whispered to herself as she softly slid the window open.

Without a sound, Yin retreated from her lover's apartment, and back to a place of torment and confliction.


	38. Chapter 38

Yin's steps were heavy, delayed. Her steps slowed to a depressed drag as she felt the weight of her unexpected departure from Hei and the eminent fear of the future pull her down. Yin tried to shift her mind from the soft pressure of his lips and the strong sturdy hands that roamed her body with such delicacy. The longing aches and tremors that had momentarily seized her body were interrupted by the boiling tension rising upon the horizon.

Her breathing grew labored as she felt their collective stares brewing on her skin. She stopped just on the edge of the campsite. The world stilled. Not only for her, but for them as well. She could feel it in her spine, they were standing on the edge of either a massive calamity, or something tragically beautiful. Her mouth dried as all moisture in her body seemed to be spreading to her palms. Yin connected eyes with one of her intense observers and though she could not see them, the sensation alone was enough to make her drag her eyes back down to the ground.

She could feel more members emerging from their homes and Yin began to fear that the turn out would be much worse than what she was hoping for. She trembled softly, her shaky feet still somehow planted in her spot. Fear and apprehension ravaged her body so savagely that she was surprised that hadn't turned into a human vibrator on the spot. But the atmosphere of the situation held her body tightly, she could hardly move due to the danger she was quickly becoming aware of.

Silence suffocated her as the crowd that had once erupted in a violent outcry suddenly found themselves without a sound among them. The family she had once entrusted so completely now loomed over her with the dangerous intent and mystery that could only be afforded to a stranger. Yin felt regret brew in her, but she pushed it down, fearing how they'd react should her feelings bleed through her protective walls. The indecisive crowd came to a sort of decision as the hesitation that clouded both parties became overshadowed with a sense of clarity.

Yin held her breath, filling the same tension taint the air with the potential to trigger an unbridled rage as the one that had been present the day she'd been lowered into the ground. Her scalp burned at the memory as a painful spread throughout her body. Her muscles tensed in fear and she swallowed the dryness of her throat. A few members stepped forward, their stance threatening. A small grumble echoed through the hideout as a small group of people poised themselves to berate her.

Just as another shift began to take place, Yin felt everything stop. Someone new had stepped out onto the scene. "Aiona?"

Her voice was strong, ever certain, more sure than Yin had ever heard it. The distance that had infected her being the last time Yin had spoken to her had disappeared completely. It was clear that something in her had been unraveling at that point. It was what had made Yin's escape so easy. But now she spoke over the silent force of Alucricity's seemingly hive mind. A force that had driven paranoia into Yin's mind and brought her back there.

"Come inside," She addressed her causally. "You must be starving."

"S-Shira,"

Shira weaved through the crowd easily, it's dwindling members parting easily for her. Though they had seemed so eager to lash out at her again, Shira had dispersed them with an implication alone. Yin had only seen them react so instantaneously to one of Father's commands. How something so passive be so effective? Yin felt a drop of fear at the reminder of how powerful Shira could be. But when Shira used her skills in Yin favor, when Yin felt supported by someone with an energy so complete... it felt good in a way she couldn't fully deny. At least not to her subconscious.

Yin knew that Shira's love and support were quickly becoming something utterly conditional, but as she felt the fullness of Shira's warmth and the softness of her hand upon her cheek... Yin was beginning to question the contempt she held for Shira. Not enough to dispel it from her heart, but just enough to push it down where she could pretend the past was behind her.

Shira ushered her inside, her eyes looked past the disapproving crowd and compelled them to return to their place of residence as well.

Yin was surprised to find a hot meal already waiting for her. Her spot at the counter had already been set, and Yin wouldn't be surprised if she was presented with her favorite meal. -Which she was. Shame and guilt mixed inside her. Yin felt the need to say something, "Shira..." -but she couldn't find the words.

"Eat up snowflake," Shira's soft voice caressed her ears, compelling Yin to comply. "I know you must be tired from all the running."

Yin's fork stopped on the edge of her awaiting mouth. Her jaw continued to hang open for a moment as she tried to comprehend Shira's dysfunctional thought process. Yin closed her mouth and slowly set her fork down, deciding to approach this carefully.

"Shira," Yin asked softly, her voice a patronizing calm usually reserved for young children. "Just do you think I've been doing all this time?"

"What do you mean? You've been doing whatever you're usually up to." Shira turned slightly, giving a confused smile at the silly question. "Though you have been running a lot more than usual... I've been thinking of making you take a break, but you're just so dedicated! I can't stop passion!"

Yin tensed. She tried to block out the dangerous weight of Shira's delusion, but fear settled in her heart anyway.

"D-Do.. do you remember me going out at all these past few days?" Though Yin was fully aware that months had passed, she choose to imply that it had been a few days, if only to see if Shira could still understand the passage of time. Yin hoped the detail would draw her to a realization.

"Well of course! You still have your duties to Father don't you?" Shira sighed. "The missions must have been hard on you, no wonder your memory is faltering."

Yin stilled. She suddenly found that her appetite was receding. "U-Um, I'm not hungry anymore." Yin hoped her excuse could provide her with an opportunity to slip away and procure a moment of safety.

Shira slammed the powerful cleaver knife into the counter with a great brute strength that didn't seem to take much out of her. Yin jolted, her heart pumping. The wooden counter split open with a crack that was inches long. "You're a warrior. You're hungry. If you don't eat, you can't fight. _So Eat_."

Yin gripped the fork in her hand, wishing for Hei's consoling touch. A sinking feeling settled in her as she bit back tears. How could she leave him? How could she come back _here?_ She wondered how long she'd be running in circles until she realized just what she was doing wrong. She wondered if she'd be able to stop herself before she'd run into something she didn't like.


	39. I fucked up guys

Hey guys! I bet you're all wondering what's taking so long with all the chapters and what's going on considering the lengthy breaks I've been taking between updates. Well the truth is, I dropped the ball a little bit on this one. Now I know this isn't what you want to hear and you probably don't want to be reading some author's not instead of an actual chapter but I feel like I have to explain myself a bit here.

I'm actually currently animating a project I've been working on for about a three years now. It's just me and I'm juggling a lot between writing the script, voice acting, and animating all on my own. With all that, there are some days when I can't find the time to work on this fic. That's not to say that I won't able to write anymore, I've been multitasking with the project and my fics since before I even started writing APFBTG. In other words, there's no need to worry about me giving up on this story.

Now for worse news, sort of...

This story's gotten a bit off track. You probably haven't noticed because I haven't posted all the chapters yet, but I've actually written myself into a corner. There are also a few faults within the chapters themselves. There are a few chapters were relatively nothing happens, some don't present a full idea because I don't know how to start or end them, I've been getting sloppy with my editing and due to all the extra work I'm doing my mistakes stretch far beyond grammar(like forging strange sentences and mashing thoughts together in places they don't belong). And somehow the story's strayed so far from my notes that I now have no idea how to insert critical plot points without them coming from nowhere. I want to develop a lot of the characters differently and don't want the story to be as lengthy as it is.

So if you can't tell already, I'm starting the story over. I know! I know! It sounds terrible but I promise it won't be that bad. While I do admit that I'm not in favor of the direction this story's going in, it's actually not that far off. I'm in the process of making a better outline and most of the beginning will be staying the same. Some chapters won't need to be changed at all. But things are definitely going to move along smoother. And don't be worried about the Hei/Yin moments, there will be much more of those once I get to work.

Now about the process of writing that...

I'm sure those of you who've been following me before my hiatus have noticed that I post frequently. This because before I even started uploading I wrote several chapters. I did this to make sure I had something to give you guys when my aforementioned project got in the way. Not that anyone would be able to tell, but this has actually worked out in my favor a few times and I plan to prep my chapters again this time around. This unfortunately means that I'll be taking another break. It might not be as long however as I'll be spending more time on my writing and I won't need to focus as much on to pull the story together.

Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience. Please continue to give this story a chance, I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised.


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